Souls get watered, yet they remain hollow... so they release a moan that can barely be heard, but it can be seen... because hollow souls are surrounded by darkness... a faded darkness that draws nothing toward it, except silence... So, the souls sway... between a pale gray that almost lets out a faint moan... or a deep black, preceded by a faint smile, painfully cold.

Then what?

Then, there is a hidden desire between souls, rising in silence, meeting in silence… while the body remains suspended in the echo of a concealed quiet. Souls harmonize, and bodies harmonize as well, and on the edge of silence sits a consciousness that sometimes shines, and sometimes its glow fades away. It sways between a faint existence and an illusion that keeps slipping before your insight, again and again. Naturally, silence is not met with silence… it is held in a faint smile, so that the harshness of cold dissolves into warmth, and whispers begin to shimmer on the horizon.

And even if words exist between souls, the smile becomes the thread that connects one whisper to another, between an echo dancing in a space of nonexistence and a being that softly glows within the embrace of an illusion of existence.

So, the souls sway between echoes of gentle whispers that brush against them with a radiant innocence… and a dark whisper that watches from afar.

I love taking care of cats despite not owning one..

I want to raise a cat.

But it seems I love birds more..

Hmm, maybe a cute hamster would be nicer.

If only I could keep a star between my hands,

Ah, do you realize How beautiful its light would be?

I wonder if the moon would get jealous,

because I always confess My love to it..

I mean, the star is beautiful in my eyes because it resembles me.

The night breeze is gentle tonight..

Ah, I forgot..

I picked a flower today,

unusually enough.

I wonder why its beauty fades every time in my hands...

Perhaps I should have been content with only looking at it.

I adore the night breeze,

But I’m afraid to stare into the darkness for too long.

Do you understand me?

It is said that a thirsty one dived into the depths of the sea to quench his thirst, 

only to find the water salty, 

and himself unable to return to the surface, 

For he did not know how to swim.. 

Neither was his thirst quenched, 

nor did his breaths survive.. 

The light vanished. 

Darkness and stillness rose, 

The heartbeat quickened, 

and the awareness of existence 

grew sharper, 

until the body dissolved into the depths.. 

And calmness took over.. 

A faint whisper reaches my ears, 

drawing a smile upon my face.. 

and a silent presence steals the breath from my face.. 

My body shivers at times.. 

and calms at times.. 

Fear of drowning overtakes me, 

Then comes the peace after drowning.. 

Neither am I able to be saved.. 

nor am I willing...

to be saved.

The eyes blink,

the head tilts,

and my lips sway

as my heart beats faster…

Every time,

I feel my feet Suddenly lift off the ground.

Like a swan,

dancing above the water,

never thinking of what lies below or above..

only of what its eyes can see,

and smiling for it.

Just as I do every time I catch sight of a star glowing in the dark horizon..

In the essence of our existence and nonexistence, the idea of life blooms..

My existence, near others..

Life blooms little by little beneath the weight of darkness that barely fades away.. You see it dragged sometimes by shadows, and other times by the bitterness of nothingness..

You fear that the dimness within you may clear away and leave behind something empty, something where no flower can be planted.. something barren, a desert where nothing can grow.. nor is wandering through it any comfort.. You fear finding yourself in the middle of it, with no companion to share with you the harshness of emptiness.. nor a bottle of water to quench your thirst..

So you cling to the darkness each time the stars of clarity shimmer above.. because you fear that your emptiness may be a lifeless desert, forgotten..

Yet no matter what the place is.. you can still plant your garden with your own company.. You can even water it with the tears that come with darkness leaving your life.. happiness at times, fear at times, a smile at times, and the embrace of the self at times..

Because as much as you will bloom, you will rejoice and cry, and as much as you bloom, you will come to love that your life has an existence..

My desire for this to be the last time I run away is almost stronger than my ability not to be afraid…

Until when?

I am so afraid for myself, and then of myself…

I run away from myself into myself…

And I find myself trembling in a place that feels like nowhere…

Am I escaping myself out of fear,

or escaping into myself out of fear?

I don’t know until when…

Sometimes I find myself blooming, forgetting what fear means…

And other times, I wither, because I haven’t forgotten how my body trembles from fear…

I am afraid of forgetting

And afraid of not  forgetting …

So I run, and I run, and I run… searching for a place that can hold my fear… a place where I can understand my fear…

searching for…

For someone who can make my fear just a feeling that sometimes disappears and sometimes returns…

For someone who makes me accept that my fear is only a feeling..

I am Josie, and I am still smiling to myself for myself. 

What was this place again? 

The arrogant one toys with things he does not own,

and the shattered one toys with the things he does own.

Then comes an awakening.

The arrogant smiles at the shattered,

and the shattered weeps over the arrogant.

Then the awakening is shaped at the hands of the arrogant,

because the shattered has fallen into a dark abyss,

chasing the scattered ashes of the things he once toyed with..

The fragments dance in the air,

drifting here and there..

The wind grows fierce at times,

and at other times, a breeze gently strokes the space.

The shattered collapses,

while his body sways each time he tries to catch the fragments..

Like a fool dancing beneath silent melodies,

like a fool who will curse every time he sees raindrops falling...

Because his fragments will disappear, and the things he once toyed with will be erased,

even though they once slipped softly from his hands.

Yet he clings to fragments that will never come together again.

They dance in the sky,

while his body dances on the ground.

The sun rises on the horizon,

and the breeze brushes against the tips of my feet.

The swing sways in silence.

The heart beats softly.

Waves crash gently,

scattering droplets toward the sky.

A smile forms at the edge of my lips…

then I close my eyes toward the horizon.

Silence.

The sound of burning sunlight.

Clashing waves.

Birds soaring from afar.

Silence.

Waters slipping toward the edges,

drowned in terrifying stillness.

The heart beats faster.

Breath tightens in the throat.

And the canvas before me darkens.

No star lights my darkness.

Nor does the sun burn my candle.

The waves sway silently,

and my darkness dances with them.

A complete entity.

A hollow too deep for its blackness to ever be illuminated.

Its silence, almost a sound tearing through my muteness.

The sun fails to overcome my darkness.

The birds fail to break the silence of my hardship.

A soul crushed beneath the burden of words.

Longing for peace.

A silence darker than the sound of a stone once burned by the sun.

A soul caressing darkness within the embrace of stars.

A soul aging in the arms of a wondering child:

Which one belongs to me?

Stars soaring through the longings of darkness,

or a butterfly dancing between leaves that sway at times and fall at others?