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All Valkyries Suck (Except Ours)

In Which Edie Holds Her Breath

In Which Edie Holds Her Breath

Jul 31, 2026

Inside the Referrals department, Vere peeked into Edie’s open door, but her office was empty. It looked like she hadn’t been there for a while; her computer’s screen saver bounced from corner to corner, and her diffuser was off. She always had that running.

Vere frowned, reaching for their phone before they remembered they’d left it in their room. They were gonna have to track down Edie the old-fashioned way. They moved through the department into the hall beyond, glancing in either direction before heading toward a door near the Psychiatry office that was slightly open. The plaque read GROUP ROOM, which was where Vere had heard the valkyries were being interviewed. Vere nudged the door further open with the toe of their sneaker and peered inside.

Vere practically only needed to smell the juniper and cardamom scent to know that Edie was in here; as soon as they saw her black-and-green hair and confirmed it, they rushed inside. It didn’t even matter who she was with. They were too relieved.

“Edie,” hissed Vere, coming up next to their friend and groping for the comfort of her squishy waist without thinking, “we need to talk.”

Edie didn’t even jump at Vere’s sudden touch; she looked in concern over her shoulder, close enough so that the corner of her glasses bumped Vere in the cheek.

“Oh,” said the shifter Orion with a chuckle, “are you here to be interviewed?”

Vere straightened, their temper jumping back out like they were ready to rip a sink out of the wall all over again. “Nobody should do that stupid shit,” they snapped.

The other counselor, the intern, choked on a surprised laugh. Edie twisted around to face Vere, her eyebrows raising and a crooked smirk spreading on her lips in the way that made her single fang snag.

Vere felt their cheeks heat up. “Sorry, but I just spoke with Colonel Agrippa. I have my own orders.” They spoke through gritted teeth.

“Do they happen to be orders that will help us get Dr. Williams off our backs?” Orion asked hopefully. Vere assumed he was being sarcastic as he gave his blue-tinted glasses a shove up his wide nose.

“Depends,” answered Vere un-ironically, “but yes, probably.”

“Vere,” Edie began in her best motherly voice, “what do you mean?”

Vere strode back to the group room door and pressed the button that locked it. “The colonel is sending me after Ripley.”

All three of them gaped at them with open mouths. Orion was the first to move, his big shoulders drooping as he groaned long and low.

“But…” began Edie. “But that’s not…”

“That’s not even the worst part,” Vere continued, moving toward one of the chairs arranged in a rough circle and sinking into it. Something about this group room felt like it was urging them to talk.

Edie rushed to sit in the seat next to Vere, knees angled toward Vere in such a way that they brushed against Vere’s thigh. Orion was the next to move closer, pulling a chair out of the curve to sit across from Vere, and as soon as he did, Bellamy joined the three of them. The intern looked much more anxious than the other two. His affect had nothing of the snarky confidence he’d shown earlier this week.

Vere swung their gaze across the three of them and awkwardly pulled on their sweatshirt strings. “I thought I wasn’t doing an interview,” they said with a half-hearted laugh.

Bellamy shook his head, unamused. “This room has been used for support a lot more than it’s been used to interview valkyries.”

“What’s the worst part?” urged Edie, tapping Vere’s arm. Her round features were creased with concern.

“Well, Agrippa wanted me to go after Ripley in hopes that I, being closer to them than most, would know where they were so I could get them back here sooner.” They swallowed, glancing at Edie. “Problem is that I do know where they went.”

Orion let out a haggard, sighing profanity.

“Shit, you can’t bring them back here though,” exclaimed Bellamy. He shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Orion. “Y… You heard what Claudia said.”

Vere’s brow wrinkled as they thought of Claudia trapped in a corner getting snarled at by Morgana. “What did Claudia say?” they demanded.

“It seemed like Claudia was actually friends with Ripley, unlike the rest of them,” said Bellamy, looking down. “And she said that it would destroy Ripley if they had to come back here.”

Vere’s throat tightened. They didn’t need any more convincing. They nodded.

“I think I can help you,” said Orion abruptly.

Bellamy’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at the other counselor.

Vere frowned. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do yet, so—”

“No, I know. But I know a lot of folks all over Eldwick and Tenebrose and even out of town. Whatever you need, I have someone for it.”

Vere frowned thoughtfully. “A phone? I only have my VADR-issued phone, and Agrippa will be using it to track me. I don’t want to give her the chance to ambush me, especially when I do actually connect with Ripley.”

Orion nodded. “On it.” He opened his phone and started tapping away.

“So, where are we going first?” asked Edie.

Vere laughed, flat and humorless. “Hell no. I’m not getting you tied up in this.”

“Don’t be clichéd,” snapped Edie, crossing her arms.

“I think Edie has tied herself up in this already,” laughed Bellamy. He said to Edie, “You’re fucking fearless with the valkyries and it’s so funny.”

“That’s part of my concern,” agreed Vere, nodding to Bellamy before returning their gaze to Edie. “I have to be careful and methodical to try to get Ripley out of this mess.”

“Rude!” exclaimed Edie. “I’m plenty methodical!”

“You’re a menace,” countered Vere. “Especially where the valkyries are concerned.”

Edie rolled her eyes, but as soon as she started to smirk, her single fang popped out and absolutely proved Vere’s point.

“Okay, Vere,” said Orion, reaching behind him to pick up a pen and pack of sticky notes off the table, “you can pick up a burner from this address any time after five tonight.” He copied something from his phone onto the notepad and then passed it over to them.

Vere’s eyes widened. “That was fast.” They glanced at the address, which was about a mile south of VADR near the subway to Tenebrose, which was where Vere knew Ripley had gone.

Orion grinned, modestly dropping his gaze. “It’s just about who ya know.”

“Thank you,” they said earnestly. “I know you have no reason to help me…”

The shifter shrugged. “Seems like the right thing to do.”

Edie nodded in agreement. She pointed at the two counselors. “You two are involved now, by the way. What do you say we all meet back at my place tonight?”

Vere shook their head. “I’m not coming back until Ripley’s safe, whether they’re safe here or wherever they’ve gone.”

Edie fixed them with a look they knew far too well. Her cheeks puffed up and her eyes bulged like she was gonna burst. The longer she stared at Vere, the redder her cheeks started getting. She was holding her breath.

“I swear to god, Edie,” groaned Vere.

Edie’s lips went thin with the pressure. She made a choking sound.

“Edie, goddamn it, I can’t… just go back and forth and risk Agrippa figuring out you’re...” They were having trouble keeping track of their thoughts. “Knock it off, Edie!”

Edie clutched her hands around the edge of her chair, her eyes somehow bugging even more.

“Tomorrow!” exclaimed Vere over Orion and Bellamy’s laughter. “I’ll come to your place tomorrow night.”

Edie exhaled sharply and beamed, pointing at Orion and Bellamy. “Excellent, they’ll be there too.”

“Um,” Bellamy began, raising a finger, but clamped his mouth shut as soon as Edie took a noisy deep breath and held it. Vere slapped their forehead as Orion’s booming laughter settled the matter for good.

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Z.M. Celestaire

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edie runs a tight and psychotic ship that's for sure

Comments (1)

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victoriamick091
victoriamick091

Top comment

Somehow this story managed to pull me in completely. I’m really enjoying the journey so far, please keep going!

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Nobody makes a workplace stressful quite like buff and way too serious valkyries. Four friends confront a corrupt organization while questioning their own identities (gender and species) as well as newly realized romantic entanglements.

Bellamy Hirsch is so close to finishing his internship at VADR, an irritating organization run by valkyries which claims to help supernatural and human civilians in the city of Eldwick. The crazier things get with the valkyries, and the more things come to light about his own surprisingly supernatural heritage, the more uncertain his graduation becomes.
When his social work nonprofit-slash-dream job gets suddenly shut down by VADR, Orion Pendleton is ready to be reckless. With no other option, he ends up joining VADR. When insults—and sparks—start to fly with his coworker Bellamy, Orion realizes his plan to sabotage VADR might put everything else in jeopardy.
Captain Vere Stromgaard is the picture-perfect valkyrie, on the outside, anyway. Internally, Vere realizes they don’t identify as a woman. And when they are ordered to track down a deserting nonbinary valkyrie, Vere’s life is thrown into chaos.
As a former ward of VADR, Edie Thorn knows quite a lot about the valkyries for a half-vampire. She also might be in love with her best friend Vere. Her loyalty to Vere is tested when Vere’s assignment brings them to Edie’s childhood home; Edie yearns for her family there, but her best friend has been convinced by VADR that the place is evil.
These four friends must confront the prejudice and pain caused by VADR and decide: can they topple the institution together, or will they fracture before they can triumph?
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In Which Edie Holds Her Breath

In Which Edie Holds Her Breath

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