now playing: get my mind off by dea matrona.

RAINIER

December 21st, Year 987 [13 years ago].

Bauldry’s Capital State, Young Master’s Quarters.

It's been 2 years since Duke Harald Bauldry adopted me. And yet I can't get used to these suffocating clothes, the overwhelming amount of lessons I must take or the colloquial tone I must use. Not only classes on state management, history, etiquette and… ugh… math, but also sword and body to body combat.

A lot of people whisper behind my back that the only reason the Duke adopted me was to get closer to the Emperor, which I honestly don't care much about.

My real parents died when I was 4, so basically 4 years ago. I still remember the scent of firewood and the laughs, even if the Duke is now my pretend father, I'll never forget the love I felt back then.

Having exceptional memory is good in these moments.

“Can't I lose a few buttons?” I ask Countess Eleanor, my nanny, as I pull the collar of the shirt that is grazing my neck. So damn uncomfortable.

“Of course not! You need to do your best at the Crown Prince’s party!” She says her tone is firm but her touch and eyes are gentle. The Countess accepted being my nanny by the Duke's request, but she treats me well, actually everyone at the state treats me excellently considering my origins.

C'mon, it's clear most would treat me like shit considering I'm a filthy boy from the slums.

And that is true for the nobles I see at the Palace and other gatherings, but inside the Duke's state, everyone is nothing but kind.

He may have adopted me with second intentions, but I'm well cared for.

That has its exceptions, as anything in this world that benefits me wouldn’t come for free.

The first time I got a bad grade in my classes I got hit with a ruler on my butt. The time I skipped sword practice to play with Evangelia I got whipped at the back of my legs. And the time I accidentally cursed in front of the Duke, my back was bleeding for a full week.

Well, I'm treated well as long as I don't misbehave, so that's fine.

Compared to life on the streets, running from orphanages, stealing food and getting hit by adults as I was begging for food, it's a small price to pay.

I just need to be a proper fake noble.

And never forget that I'm not a real part of this clown show.

This will last as long as I go along with everyone's whims.

I'll do so, as I do not have anything I want more than to be able to be warm at night and have food to eat in the morning.

One day I'll need to let this go, as it'll never truly belong to me.

When that day comes, I hope I'll leave with my head held up high and with a family of my own.

The love my parents had, enough to die for each other.

That is the love I seek, the family I wish to shape.

Right now I might be only 8, but I have already met the love of my life.

It took me a while to realize it, though.

I met Evangelia when we were both 6 at the Palace gardens. Immediately we hit it off, she was funny, kind and extremely sweet. Her black hair shines like the stars and her eyes are sweet like candy.

Hopefully one day I'll be able to marry her.

“Did father comment anything about my engagement?” I ask, a few weeks prior he commented he would get me a fiance alongside the Crown Prince, it seems it's a habit of nobility to decide their children's engagement when they're around 10 years old.

It's two years away, but I would like to be able to choose her.

“Not to me directly, but his lordship did exchange a good amount of letters with Margrave Abel”. Abel? I'm not familiar with their family.

“Do you think he would allow me to choose my fiance?”

“As long as her social stance is good enough I don't see why not”, the Countess answers as she taps my clothes, looking at the final result. 

“I would like to choose her,” I say with a shy smile.

The Countess laughs. “You mean Miss Petit?” I nod, “She's a lovely young lady, I don't see why your father would be against it”.

“Thank you Ma’am”.

A few hours later.

Exos Empire’s Palace, First Prince's Garden.

“Thank you for coming”, sweet words alongside a sweet gaze. First Prince of the Exos Empire, Alkaios Theodore Chrysl is the synonym of elegance and sweetness, his soft light pink eyes, well-styled silver hair and high-end clothes make it clear he’s the heir to the throne of the Exos Empire.

And above everything, he's my one and only best friend.

Not everyone could claim they're best friends with a Prince, and I should be aware of the privilege and honor my position carries.

When I was five and wandering around the forest that surrounds the Capital after I managed to steal a few fruits from a street vendor. I was still grieving my parents’ death and I had just ran away from my third orphanage. There's not much a 5 years-old can do alone, but I managed, because I desperately wished to live.

After wandering for a while I ended up at a huge lake I had never seen before. I couldn't let the opportunity go of taking a swim just like my parents used to take me to. However at the lake there were a few adults and a child. By far I could see that the child was a noble, just like those that shoved me around and cursed me, and as I was turning around to run away before they spotted me, I saw it.

The adults shoved the child on the deep part of the lake, the child gasping for air as his clothes attempted to drag him down. To be completely honest, I do not know what compelled me at the time, if it was the unfairness of the adults that were hurting a mere child like me, or the memory of my parents teaching me how to swim a year prior. Nini, you’re an exceptional swimmer, so daddy will bring you here again next summer. Sometimes deep down, I wished that my memory was just a bit weaker, or that my parents weren’t so kind and didn’t leave me with so many lessons of kindness and hard work. What’s the point of memories of lessons that I’ll never be able to make them proud by using it?

So I jumped into the cold lake to drag that child back. It wasn’t easy, it hurt, and my hands were freezing for hours after that. Later on I would have the worst cold of my life because I didn’t dry out properly once I ran away after saving the boy.

There was no use running away, though.

Just a few days later a golden carriage with white horses passed by the slums and dragged me to the Palace.

I couldn’t understand half of what the Emperor said, the way he spoke was hard for an illiterate child to understand.

After that I spent a week at the Palace, playing with the First Prince, and somehow we became close. 

Close enough for me to become his closest friend and confidant. 

‘’Your highness, thank you for inviting me’’, I say with a long bow, I can feel the gazes of the other children, their eyes burn on my skin, they’re only repeating what the adults tell them, at least that’s what the Countess told me, however that doesn’t alleviate the pain I feel by them.

‘’Rai, I already told you to call me Kai’’, the First Prince says with a gorgeous smile. 

I can’t tell him that if I call him that and father hears I’ll be left with no food for two days again. ‘’Only in private, your highness’’.

‘’At least call me Alkaios, we’re friends, after all’’, his words are elegant in a way I have no idea how to imitate even if I spend hours training my speech with the Countess.

‘’Fine, Alkaios’’, I give in, this much my father probably will allow.

The First Prince’s 9th birthday is only a few days before my own, and it's always an extravagant party, fountains of chocolate, sculptures made of ice, mana stones decorating the tables and any food you could possibly imagine. It all honestly feels like a waste.

Looking around I can’t help but search for my other friend, Evangelia rarely attends official events, she never told me why, but I overheard her father saying that she had important lessons to attend previously. What could possibly be so important that she misses the First Prince’s birthday? 

‘’I need to greet the other attendees, although you can wait for me by the tulips’’, Alkaios says to me with a smile, however I’ve known him for time enough to know through his eyes that he’s tired and annoyed.

One thing I’ve come to understand about the First Prince, is that he absolutely hates other nobles, almost as much as me. But he pretends to adore them, due to his stance, it’s probably for the best. Would his father also beat him if he complained about his clothes?

Don’t get me wrong. I know my relationship with my father isn’t normal or healthy. But he’s not my real father nor am I his real son. And his house is so much better than any orphanage and I only get hurt when I disobey him. Until I become an adult with enough power to raise my head up high, I can bear it, I can do anything to survive.

The remaining memories of my real parents also help me in times of distress. I do not need a new father or a new family.

As any other party, time goes by slowly as I stand in a corner waiting for Alkaios to speak to me, not that I mind. Some nobles pass by me making snarky remarks I ignore. I want to go home, I think, holding my yawn. However, just then, I spot the Second Prince, just as usual he’s behind a tree watching his older brother with obsessive eyes, truth be told, that boy creeps me out, even if he’s just 6 years-old. He never approaches, even if he’s always watching from a distance, and the one time I asked about him to Alkaios, he only told me to let his brother be as he’s cute like that. 

There are rumors that the Second Prince is a brat that likes shiny jewels and hitting maids since he was a baby, not that I believe them.

All I think is that he’s a pitiful boy that is unaware of his own privilege.

I watch him for a while longer until he’s approached by a suspicious adult, the man is wearing dark clothes and his face is covered by an illusion magic circle. Weirdly enough, even with the suspicious appearance, the Second Prince speaks with the man calmly. Do they know each other? 

However even if I would like to observe more or even approach and question the Second Prince, the suspicious man moves, as he walks across the children and adults, no one seems to notice him. Is he wearing mana concealing artifacts? I wonder, as part of my studies I’ve been studying mana, as I seem to have talent for it, and as the only thing I managed to learn fast as all it takes is good memorization and a good mana affinity.

Which both I possess.

The man gets near the First Prince, with the corner of my eye I can see the panicked face of the Second Prince. Are they colluding together? How? Why?

But again, as if my late parents were guiding me, I step up, running towards Alkaios, and just at the nick of time, I cover his body with my own, feeling the cold blade crossing my body and the warm blood running through my skin. I feel faint, weak, and everything hurts, did it hit any of my organs? I wonder, but I simply grab the man’s hand behind my body, the strength I draw from my core is enough to hold off the man from escaping until the Knights move and arrest him.

‘’Are you ok? Your highness?’’ I ask, as I limp back, to look at a terrified First Prince, my blood soaking his clothes. ‘’Oh, my apologies for dirtying your attire’’, those are probably the right words. Is he upset at me for ruining his clothes? Will my father scold me again?

Why did I move to protect him again? Was it due to my parents' words to always care for others? Or is it because he’s my first close friend I ever had?

If he got hurt I would be sad.

Yeah, that’s probably why.

Alkaios says something, but my ears are buzzing so loudly I cannot hear him. I can feel my consciousness slowly drifting away, I need to go home before I pass out and bother others.

But I cannot manage to take even two steps before I fall onto the ground, unconscious.