Lucas remained in the same position for several more minutes, as if he were afraid that any careless movement would destroy the fragile agreement they had reached after a month of mutual accusations. His cheek rested on Adrian's lap, the man's fingers moved slowly through his tousled hair, and the only sounds in the room were their uneven breathing and the distant noise of cars outside the window.

The words "we will definitely fall in love with each other" had already slipped from his lips and now seemed to Lucas both the most honest and the most ridiculous thing he had ever said. He wanted to rise, demand an answer, kiss Adrian, and once again bring everything to the familiar heat of their bodies. However, the palm on the back of his head moved with such care that, for the first time in a long while, Lucas was in no hurry to turn gentle closeness into animal passion.

Adrian remained silent as well. His fingers sometimes froze, as though he had forgotten what he was doing, and then sank into the dark strands again. The wine had left a tart sweetness on his breath, but intoxication no longer made him relaxed. On the contrary, exhaustion showed throughout his body.

Lucas finally lifted his head. Damp tracks remained on Adrian's face, shadows lay beneath his eyes, and the stubble he usually did not allow himself even on a day off made him look older and more defenseless. All that remained of Lucas's former desire to prove that he could have this man at any moment was warm concern.

"How much did you drink today?" Lucas asked, taking the bottle from the table.

"Not enough to forget our shamefully candid conversation today," Adrian replied, although his usual mockery sounded too gentle.

"I'll bring you some water."

"You came to me late at night after your graduation, confessed your love, and now you've decided to work as a nurse? Are you going to bring me a bedpan too, perhaps?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I just don't want you throwing up on my new pants."

Lucas stood, feeling how numb his knees had become, and headed to the kitchen. The light beneath the range hood revealed a scene he had not noticed in the dim living room: dishes lay in the sink, and a mountain of takeout boxes stood on the counter.

Complete chaos.

Adrian had always seemed like the kind of person who could sort his socks by shade and throw away a receipt immediately after a purchase. The neglected apartment spoke of his condition more convincingly than his hollow cheeks and his admission that he did not know what to do next.

Lucas found a clean glass only on the drying rack, filled it with water, and returned. Adrian was sitting in the same position, but now he was looking at his own hands, clasped between his knees. The skin on his fingers was red from constant scratching.

"Drink," Lucas said, holding out the glass.

Adrian obeyed without arguing, took several sips, and returned the water. That simple compliance worried Lucas deeply.

"You need to lie down."

"Excellent plan. You can close the door from the other side, and I'll try to carry it out on my own."

"I'm not leaving."

"Lucas, we have just had an emotional breakdown together. I don't think we should reinforce the result with another mistake."

Lucas braced a palm against the back of the chair and looked at him closely. Before, a phrase like that would have caused an outburst: he would have demanded that Adrian explain whom he considered a mistake. But now the man looked so vulnerable that Lucas remained silent.

"I'm not going to sleep with you," Lucas said after a while.

Adrian slowly raised his eyes.

"Is that supposed to offend me?"

"You're drunk. If we have sex now, tomorrow you'll convince yourself that you agreed only because you weren't thinking clearly. Then you'll call me another disaster and invent twenty more reasons why we can't be in the same room."

"You are unexpectedly sensible for your age."

"Believe me, I'm holding myself back."

The corner of Adrian's mouth twitched, but the smile quickly disappeared.

"And what do you suggest?"

"A shower and sleep. We'll talk in the morning when we're sober."

"And if I ask you to leave in the morning?"

Lucas felt the familiar sting, but he did not allow it to turn into an attack.

"Then I'll leave. But you'll say it to my face when you understand what you're saying."

Adrian studied him for a long time, as if searching for a catch in a promise the old Lucas would certainly have broken. Then he ran a palm over his face and nodded wearily.

Getting up from the couch proved more difficult than the man had expected. He swayed to the side, and Lucas automatically supported him by the elbow, but immediately loosened his fingers, leaving him the option to pull away. Adrian did not. For several seconds he stood beside him, shifting part of his weight onto the other man's arm, and then muttered that he could reach the bathroom without an escort.

"I'll wait here," Lucas replied. "And don't lock the door."

"So you really have decided to monitor whether I drown in the shower?"

"I've decided I don't want to explain to the police why a former professor drowned an hour after I broke into his apartment in my graduation gown."

Adrian gave him a tired look, but he really did leave the door unlocked.

While water ran in the bathroom, Lucas took off his rumpled gown and hung it over the back of the chair. His tie was stained with wine, and his shirt clung unpleasantly to his skin after the hot day. The phone forgotten in his pocket vibrated almost constantly. The screen showed seventeen missed calls from Mark, messages from his parents, and several photographs from graduation, where his classmates were already celebrating without him.

"Where are you?"

"Your mother is ready to report you missing."

"If you've gone after the professor again, at least let me know you're alive."

Lucas typed a short reply: "Alive. I'm staying with Adrian. If my parents are still at the graduation, tell them I'll come in the morning."

Three dots appeared almost immediately.

"What a cheap romance you two have."

Lucas smirked, told his friend to go fuck himself, and put the phone away. His gaze returned to the mess. He collected the bottles, threw away the boxes, put the cups in the sink, and opened the window, letting out the smell of wine and tobacco. A stack of papers lay on the coffee table: printed advertisements for an editor position at a small academic publishing house, a natural sciences teacher position, and a cleaner vacancy.

"He really is desperate, though."

Lucas did not read any further. He straightened the documents and covered them with a magazine.

The water stopped. A couple of minutes later Adrian appeared in the hallway, dressed in loose lounge pants and a gray T-shirt. Damp hair fell over his forehead, and he had left his glasses in the bathroom, so he looked at Lucas with a slight squint. Without the suit and a professor's posture, he seemed younger, but no less handsome. Lucas felt his body respond instantly to the familiar silhouette and nearly became angry with himself for being so predictable.

Adrian noticed the look directed at him.

"You promised not to come on to me."

"I promised not to sleep with you. No one forbade me from looking."

"I already regret leaving the door open."

Lucas stepped closer but stopped at arm's length.

"May I?"

The question sounded unfamiliar even to him. Adrian did not understand at first, then followed his gaze and touched his damp hair with his fingers.

"What exactly?"

"Dry your hair. Otherwise you'll complain about neck pain in the morning."

Adrian snorted quietly but handed him the towel. Lucas draped the fabric over his head and carefully rubbed his hair, trying not to turn the act of care into a joke. The man stood still, only occasionally closing his eyes when Lucas's fingers passed over his temples. Gradually, the tension in his shoulders eased.

"Do you always take care of people like this after a confession?" Adrian asked.

"You're my first in this. And in many little things, you're my first too."

The towel stopped moving. Lucas had already prepared himself to hear another defensive remark, but Adrian only exhaled and rested his forehead on his shoulder.

The contact was almost weightless, yet Lucas felt it throughout his body. He did not wrap his arms around the man immediately but waited until Adrian moved closer on his own. Only then did his palms settle on Adrian's back, offering support.

"I'm still ashamed," Adrian said into the collar of his shirt.

"Of what exactly? Our list is impressive. Have you sobered up?"

"Yeah, I'm sober."

"Then what is our professor ashamed of?"

"Let's start with the fact that a twenty-eight-year-old man gave his former student a chance. And a man at that."

"And what's wrong with the fact that I'm a man?"

Lucas felt the muscles tense beneath his palm.

"I missed my own party today because I found out you had disappeared from the university. Then I stood at your door thinking that you were either in someone else's arms, dead, or hated me so much that you had moved without leaving an address. Every version frightened me to the point of nausea."

"The third was closest to the truth."

"And yet you opened the door."

Adrian did not answer. Lucas ran his thumb over his temple, collecting the remaining moisture. The man looked at his lips, then back into his eyes.

"May I kiss you?" Lucas asked quietly.

Adrian held the pause long enough for Lucas to feel his own heartbeat, then nodded almost imperceptibly.

The kiss began carefully. Lucas touched his lips and pulled back a few millimeters, leaving him the choice to continue. Adrian closed the distance himself, placed a palm against his neck, and answered more deeply. The taste of wine still remained on his tongue, but now it mingled with the mint of toothpaste and warmth that made Lucas want to close his eyes. He did not hurry. He slowly traced Adrian's lips, touched them with his tongue, and allowed Adrian to set the pace. When the man bit his lower lip, the familiar arousal flared instantly, but Lucas only tightened his fingers on the fabric of the T-shirt and did not go any further.

Adrian was the first to break the kiss. His breathing had quickened, his pupils were dilated, and his palm still rested on Lucas's neck.

"Are you really going to stop?" he asked in disbelief.

"If you want me to remain a person rather than a convenient excuse for your morning panic, then yes."

"Since when did two dogs who never let a single skirt pass them by at a club become such saints?"

"We'll have to get used to a new pace. Now you have only me. We're together. And together we'll move forward slowly, step by step."

"We haven't agreed yet on what exactly you are to me."

"Then there will be a committee meeting in the morning."

Adrian shook his head, but this time he smiled genuinely. He headed to the bedroom, and Lucas followed. The bed was unmade, and headache pills lay on the nightstand. Lucas took the initiative, changed the pillowcase, and opened the window for several minutes. Adrian watched his domestic activity.

"You can lie on the edge," he finally said. "Just don't press your whole body against me. It's hot in here."

"Of course, Professor."

"And don't call me that anymore."

"That will be the hardest condition of our relationship."

They lay down on top of the thin blanket. Space remained between them, and Lucas had promised not to close it without an invitation. Adrian lay on his back for several minutes, staring at the ceiling, then turned onto his side.

"Lucas."

"I'm here."

"If I start saying again in the morning that all of this is a mistake, don't yell at me."

"I'll try."

"And as a last resort, don't try to solve the problem with sex."

"Oh no, my plan has been exposed."

Adrian laughed quietly, then reached out and carefully touched his fingers. Lucas intertwined them without squeezing too tightly.

"Stay until morning," Adrian said, and the request was so quiet that Lucas barely heard it.

Lucas raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed Adrian's knuckles.

"I'll stay as long as you ask me to," he replied. "But tomorrow you'll still sign an official fidelity agreement with me."

"Go to sleep, Valdes."

Adrian had already closed his eyes, but a minute later he spoke again:

"Your parents really won't come looking for you here?"

"My mother will be outraged until tomorrow, and my father will pretend he didn't notice anything. I wrote that I stayed with someone who needs company right now."

"You didn't say who exactly?"

"Not yet. First we need to understand what this 'us' means ourselves."

Adrian opened his eyes slightly. Relief flashed in his gaze, and he tried to conceal it behind his usual displeasure.

"A surprisingly reasonable formulation."

"I prepared it specially to impress the ethics professor."

"Former professor."

"To me, you'll remain Professor for a long time, especially when you start giving orders."

"I don't recognize myself."

"I don't understand what's happening to me today either."

Adrian ran his thumb over the back of Lucas's hand.

Lucas only intertwined their fingers more tightly.

A few minutes later Adrian's breathing evened out. In his sleep, he moved closer on his own, rested his head on Lucas's chest, and wrapped an arm around his waist. Lucas denied himself a triumphant smile only because he was afraid of waking him. He carefully covered the man, ran a palm over his damp hair, and left a light kiss on it.

"I'm happy."