[December 1951]

The snow fell softly as Nathan and I looked out the window; we continued to stare at the cold blizzard that piled up snow faster than the eye can see. Drosselmeyer's nutcracker stood on top of the fireplace as it seemed to be watching the both of us. I would glance back to see the mysterious doll as it stood there; Drosselmeyer sat on his chair, smoking his pipe and reading some literature. In any case, I went back to staring at the falling snow with Nathan, knowing that there isn’t anything to be done during the cold blizzard.

In fairness, looking back at the memory, it made me think our actions were displayed in that fashion because of disbelief and grief over what we saw at the crash site. We never thought about it clearly on what to do, but from the reflection, I noticed Drosselmeyer. He was looking at us with a really concerned expression before walking over; his hands resting gently on our shoulders as he sighed. “It shall be alright,” he spoke as the two of us soon turned our heads to look at him.

It was a silent moment before the two of us turned out heads back to the snow, still thinking the same thoughts. It was only a few moments later that my ears began tingling with the sounds of what believed to be music rang in. I turned around, watching as Drosselmeyer placed a record into the record player. After a while, the music began to play and right when my ears finally zoned in on what it was, it was The Nutcracker.

His dance moves after that were a bit janky but all the more entertaining to watch. It was indeed a while before me and Nathan got into the dancing too! I laughed and was overjoyed while Nathan was just being a chaotic boy as he was. After a while, the music continued to play but my eyes averted back to the nutcracker that stood on top of the fireplace. I blinked before trying to reach out for it.

Drosselmeyer chuckled before taking the nutcracker from the fireplace before giving it to me; a small smile on his face showcased something peculiar about him. Even then, it would be unlikely of Drosselmeyer not to smile. He sat back down on his chair before I began twirling, holding the nutcracker in my arms. I enjoyed dancing happily with the wooden doll as I imagined in his eyes, he’s enjoying it too. My childhood wonder back then along with the imagination could’ve been more extended upon if the thoughts of sadness didn’t limit it to nothing more than my dreams, nevertheless more of kindness was presumed in my arms with the static face of the calm, kind and wonderment nature of the long white-haired nutcracker.

“It is a wonderment that you own this, Godfather,” Nathan remarked as his head slowly came into the side view.

“But it is still a shame,” I rebutted, “ that this little man reminds you of your deceased nephew.” (It’s humorous by the time I’m writing this, I found out about something that has twisted the way I view this statement. But, I was a child back then so I feel like my imagination is more to the eyes of the beholder.) Drosselmeyer just looked at me with a bit of a small smile; there wasn’t anything more than the mysterious expression of that of my own godfather. He was illusive in most ways of course, but even then I knew he had good intentions within him.

Soon enough, the chimes of the clock rang. It was half-past nine and it was time for bed. The way I saw it was for Nathan, he felt like the next olympian that we usually watch on the television. Possibly running the hurdles too; his leg felt like one before I watched him tumble down the stairs. It was unironically funny to see my own twin fumble. But as he fumbled, my ears picked up what sounded to be like a loud crack. I turned to look at him again, noticing that there seemed to be something sticking out of his back. My eyes darted down to my arms, noticing that the mysterious little nutcracker had vanished from my grasp.

I ran over to help Nathan up before watching the nutcracker fall from his shirt and onto the floor with a broken jaw along with three of his teeth falling off. What did Nathan say in response to this?

“Well, I guess I couldn’t pull a fast one on ya, Nancy.”

The rage and anger that illuded me was imminent as next thing I knew, tears formed bawling out of my eyes looking at the ruined and broken state of the poor nutcracker. My hands told a different story as soon enough, the impact of my knuckles soon landed on his cheek; blood possibly spilling out from his lip before his whimpers escaped.

In my mind, all that I focused on was the defenseless nutcracker; looking at his fragile state left me in absolute distraught as I tried to repair the poor soldier to the best of my ability. Drosselmeyer just watched me trying with eagerness within my gaze just attempting to repair the wooden man but to no avail. I sat onto the floor, distraught on the outcoming.

“You have a wonderful attachment to this little soldier, don’t you?” he asked me. I nodded with tears streaming down my eyes. He just gave me that soft curious smile that he usually gives me and Nathan whenever problems arise; his hands cusp around the nutcracker as he takes it to the table nearby. There, I watched as he began to repair the poor little toy.

Nathan just watched as he positioned himself, standing up and leaning by the staircase. There seemed to be a brief of tension arising, even when not expressed.  It was a while until Drosselmeyer repaired the nutcracker as good as new. He walked over to me, placing the toy in my arms.

“Give him good care, dear Silberhaus,” he said before patting my head and walking away, leading Nathan upstairs. I blink before I sit on the floor, looking at the state of the nutcracker. Even though Drosselmeyer repaired it, the thought illuding in my mind was that he needed some extra care. Before long, I moved over to a nearby box which housed some ribbons, buttons and other sewing supplies. I took hold of a red ribbon before wrapping it around it’s jaw. Of course, I wasn’t that bright on nursing skills but it was the best I could do, still believing that the soldier was injured.

The night moved by slowly, not once did I close a single eye as I stared at the baron ceiling. Nathan was already passed out as it was; it felt compelling of me to stand up onto my feet and to go check on the poor nutcracker. As I trailed down the steps, I could’ve sworn I heard something… Robotic steps, the whirring sounds were what I heard before I glanced behind. It couldn’t be something that narrowed my mind to the point where I couldn’t feel the tension decreasing but as a child, I had no sense of emotional esteem.

Soon, there I was, at the bottom of the steps. The darkness seeped through the first first floor pretty dimly but in an execution that nearly blinded my sight. The only bits of light that were protruded through the rooms was that of a small candle sitting perched onto the table. It was indeed a comforting feeling at best; my eyes soon fixated once more to the nutcracker that stood on top of the fireplace, enclosed within a glass box. The glass box wasn’t there earlier but in retrospect, Drosselmeyer seemed to have place it there in order for no further harm to come to the little toy.

I was pleased to see the little nutcracker was safe but ultimately, an overgrowing sense of urgency came crawling up my spine. The wiring and the whirring were still echoing throughout the entirety of the room; my eyes leapt from chair to couch to cabinet. There never seemed to be any sense of danger nearby. It was just ominous to hear what felt like the winds blowing gently throughout the curtains while the fire still flickered. Indeed, it was something that I couldn’t hold that much about within my heart but in a sense, it was comforting. It wasn’t until my eyes gazed towards the vivid and byzantine darkness with what felt like two red glows protruding through.

There wasn’t anything spectacular to be amazed by this spectacle but the retrospection of what was going on was a good justification of the fear and anxiousness that soon caused me to flinch. My hand quickly swooped over to the perched candle which then revealed what appeared to be a horrified sight of one couldn’t describe, especially in the mind of a child.

The limbs, the eyes; the things that were piercing through the darkness along with the light caused my body to shiver and quake; there stood what appeared to be a rodent with a head as wide as a rodent with what appeared to be gray fur silking through it’s body; within the gray fur, I notarized the openings within spewing sparks of what appeared to be electricity. The head spun a bit as with whatever clumsy turn it did; the light shone once more to reveal a clearer look at the figure. The monstrous creature that emerged from the darkness enclosed a loud hiss as a clunk landed by my foot; the hisses and loud noises soon were apparent when the left side of the rodent’s face. It looked apparent to showcase the endoskeleton of this monster that my feeble child eyes laid vast upon.

“After the years have yawned by,” the voice continued to exclaim, drowning out the other noise like the grandfather clock ticking, “the search of the escaped has finally concluded! The destiny of one awaits as the devil expects the arrival of the accursed soul!”

My mouth could only say one thing before my attempt of escape proved unlikely: “Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!” The attempt concluded when the doors slammed shut with no physical interference; unable to leave the living room, the rodent endoskeleton monster (based on what was perceived) approached to soon raise it’s claw and strike.

Just then, a gust of wind approached the room as what appeared to be sparks of light surrounded the area. The sparks soon went towards the nutcracker that stood in my hands; a blinding glow soon emerged to where I wasn’t able to see at all. My hands slipped, dropping the glowing nutcracker on the floor; my legs losing their balance as the vision declined heavily before falling back. The sounds of broken glass erupted through my ear drums along with the feeling of a liquid trailing down my head and near my eardrums.

Soon enough, my hands felt what was the soft carpet floor as my eyes slowly opened once more to the sounds of clashing; there, is what I thought could be an illusion in the modern time, as the rodent’s loud hisses echoed through the room and an unfamiliar voice called out: “You may have taken my humanity and you may have my soul, but you will not take away the last bit of integrity and determination that I keep within this shell of a body!”

“Foolish toy and the last man of noble descent,” the rodent exclaimed, “may your words be the killing of your resilience!"

My head felt light as I soon stood up and tried to hold my virgil stance before the vision cleared to see what and who the rodent was talking to; it was my nutcracker but the mysterious little toy gained sentience. 

It was absolutely a spectacle to observe as the little nutcracker fought off the robotic mouse without any hint of mercy or redemption. It was either that or the hallucinogens that had clouded my senses after the physical trauma I had just endured. Blinded by my current state, I chose to believe in the reality of what I was witnessing. The nutcracker glanced at me while I watched the battle unfold before us, exclaiming, “M’lady! Run and hide! Hurry!” With those urgent commands echoing in my mind, my feet instinctively began to move toward the curtains as the fight raged on, my head spinning with each thudding pulse, the blood continuing to spill from the top of my skull to the ends of my chest.

The sounds of weaponry clashing heightened my anxiety, a discordant melody of metal against metal. The nutcracker, small yet determined, defended himself with all his might against the relentless assault of the rodent endoskeleton monster. Every strike he made echoed with desperation as I feared what would happen to him. My heart raced as I watched the scene unfold, praying he could withstand the onslaught. It became increasingly clear that the battle was turning against him, drawing closer to an unfathomable conclusion.

As the struggle progressed, the nutcracker found himself cornered against the far wall of the room. His once fierce determination began to diminish, and I could see the shifting emotions in his gaze as hope flickered. Meanwhile, the robotic adversary seemed to derive a grim satisfaction from the nutcracker's faltering spirit, a cruel glint emerging in its cold, mechanical eyes. The scene played out in agonizingly slow motion, each moment stretching into eternity. 

In this helpless state, my hand slowly brushed against the edge of the window seat. My fingers lightly grazed the fabric of a nearby slipper, almost as if seeking comfort in something tangible amid the chaos. I hesitated, the grip on the slipper faltering slightly, reflecting my own uncertainty and fear.

“You’re a fool to escape,” the rodent monster exclaimed as the sword was soon to chip off a piece of the wood that was there on the nutcracker’s neck, “running away from the fate that is soon to be bestowed upon you as your uses are no more.”

“My uses weren’t what they were to begin with; saving one’s life only to be replaced by forced servitude of entertainment,” the nutcracker snapped as he was desperately trying to find a way out of this unwarranted predicament.

Finally with one last glance that was within my eyes before winding up my arm, tossing the slipper like it was a cannonball being shot out of a catapult. Everything felt slowly within miles and miles before the slipper smacked the rodent across the face, causing him to fall onto one side. I just stood abdominally, expressionism turned to fear and worry as the nutcracker stared at me before jumping from table to table and taking hold of my hand. “Come,” he says, “we must away to your quarters!”

The way that he spoke was really odd as no one ever seemed to be talking with such elegance ever. In any case, there we went dashing up the stairs up to the room to where Nathan was still asleep. I hoped to get there on time before the robot regained consciousness and continued it’s mission to get rid of the nutcracker. The next thing I knew, my ankle was taken hold of and I fell onto the stairs. I felt like I was being pulled back; turning around, the robot’s claw gripped my ankle as it tried to pull me down.

“Wretched beast,” the nutcracker exclaimed, “CEASE YOUR REPREMANDMENTS!” What I saw next as I tried to stand up was the nutcracker stabbing the robot’s claw with his small sword; the next thing I knew something side-swiped me as down I went.

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG

BANG! 

And then.. It all turned dark.