Breaking me from my doomsday thoughts, I hear the familiar buzz from my phone. I unfurl myself from the safety of the ball I had created and reach out to the coffee table. The illuminated light from the phone flashbangs me. with a grimace, I press on and unlock to see a blast text message from Scar. 

‘two for one bloodies// alcohol half priced if you bring your own prey!’

This would normally unsettle normal people, but I have become numb to the openness of the vampire race just casually eating people with no remorse. I thought this feeling would stay with me forever, but no, I am ok with it. I feel no guilt for the humans who die by their hands. 

I lie here, mulling over the decision to go. It’s not like I have anything else to do. I don’t start my next shift till three in the afternoon. I could go out, have a fun night out and sleep in. Taking in a deep breath of courage, I rise from the seat of my couch and march to my room. 

Throwing off my pjs and searching through my closest, pushing, moving and throwing clothes I don’t want to wear all in search of plain black skinny jeans, a band shirt and a studded jacket to keep me warm from the cool night air. Throwing on a pair of mismatched socks to go with the black sneakers and I am out of the door before I let anxiety talk me out of it. 

The vampire's eye me as I step out of the elevator, all silencing to a hush and watch with a careful as I stamp out of the building. I felt like I could breathe stepping out into the open space of Brisbane city. The neon lights, the daily commute of passerby going home after a long day in the office. So many faces, so many lives just existing in this place, not one person knows the other and even if they did, they chose to know the surface level just to excuse not knowing them fully. 

I find a sense of comfort in a city, there is something always happening, places still bustling after dark and you become another face in the endless sea of people. No one knows your name, no one cares about your business. There’s an odd peace within in the noise. 

I stop atop of the river bank, feeling the sharp wind cut through the jacket. I let out a shuddering breath and ball within myself.

It’s hard to think I was here four months ago looking for Zack and now I am back, in an effort to seek some fun or maybe a connection? I climb down rock like an awkward mountain goat until concrete gives way to a natural cave mouth. The city lights fade like stars in the morning light and the cave's darkness swallows me whole. My eyes adjust and in seconds it as if I am in the day. Having vampiric vision has it’s perks.

Water threads through the cave floor back out into the river, the small bats fly through the pipe, their cries echoing down the large tunnel.

 Old red brown brick interrupts natural rock, and spray paint on jagged walls, with tags, doodles left behind by tunnel explores, all take to take a glimpse in the past. A single lever juts from the wall, painted with sloppy silver letters: PULL FOR MAGIC. To think only the supernatural can see this and my biology explains so much. 

With a deep breath I grip the cold metal and pull. Hidden gears groan. Brick trembles. An iron staircase unfurls from darkness above, locking into place with a final metallic sigh. Techno bass thumps down the shaft.

Heart pounding, I climb. One step. Two. Steel rattles but holds. The staircase ends at four iron walls and a single door pulsing violet like a heartbeat.

“Just one drink,” pushing on and stop at the top of the flat. The stairs raise up and the entrance closes, hiding itself away from the world. 

I push open the doors to the bar. Music loud in my ears, the strong, sickening sweet scent of blood assaulting my nose. Vampires dancing on the floor, lost in the beat of the music. Other scattered to the booths and chairs along the walls of the dance floor and across the bar. All lost in their own conversations and keeping close to their prey. Scars promotion worked. 

Feeling naked standing at the door, I move to the bar, passing other vampires, awkwardly weaving to the end of the bar, hoping the bartender can see me. 

The hair on the back of my neck stand on end as I feel eyes watching me. to the corner of my vision I see a group of vampires huddle together, staring me down and whispering to each other. I focus my hearing, phasing the base out and listen carefully.

‘what is it doing here?’

‘Doesn’t the owner have a spell or something to keep it out?’

‘it smells weird.’

Of course. Why would I expect anything different. 

The bartender comes into my view, inked arms trailing up to his dermals, red eyes piercing into me as I feel small against his gaze. I swallow the dread down and ordered a coke. He raises a brow and with out a word he grabs a glass, fills it to the bring and places it front of me. 

“The boss said on the house.” I nod in thanks and take the cold drink before I could take a sip, I jump out of my skin as I feel a hand grab my shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Scar’s voice reaches my ear through the beat of the loud music. I turn to see the disgruntled venue owner. 

“Getting a drink and trying to have fun.” I raise the glass to him. Scar’s lips tighten, chewing the down the words that were about to come out of his mouth. I sigh put the drink down. “Let me guess. I’m not wanted here either.”

“Look its nothing personal, its just, the other vampires are put off by your presence.”

“And you want me to leave?”

“I’m not saying I’m kicking you out, but ... I am wondering why you didn’t go to a human bar instead.” He looks at the entrance. I stay silent. “Why bother coming here?”

Why did I come here? Was it so the other vampires can ridicule me? Did I come here because I wanted to be accepted by them? Hoping they would tolerate my existence. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, watching intently of the show. I hear them all giggling to each other, cheering on the vampire for ‘putting me in my place.’ Ah. I swallow the lump forming in my throat and handed my drink to Scar. 

“Don’t know, but I’m going home.” I push past scar and hear him call for me. I kept walking, ignoring his weak excuses. 

‘see ya later, half breed.’

‘Don’t bother coming back.’

‘seriously why bother?’

I swallow down the tear, refusing to give them satisfaction and march down the steel steps back out into the cave. My hands shake and the ache in my chest grew, forming a large black hole that seem to swallow any kind of happiness. This existence is suffocating. Tears warm and salty, finally fall. Easing the ache in my chest. slowly I make my way back out of the cave, hugging my arms vlose to my chest, lost in the chaos inside my head. Thoughts blurring into white noise, indescribable and loud but the feeling is understandable. Dread, grief, loss. 

I stare up at the city lights of Brisbane city, looming over the river, I am unbothered by cold wind and feel the wetness on my skin dry. 

“Is this my fate?” the wind picks up. “Am I to be alone in this world? Vampires hate me, humans are wary of me. my best friend is living his best life and me? what am I even doing here?” no one answers. 

I let my shoulders fall and make the fun the climb back up but before I could take the first step, i fel the air shift, swirling around me as if the gust was guiding me back. I turn and see a door wide open before me. I didn’t hear it make a sound, I didn’t know there was one here to begin with. 

With careful steps I approach the open space and stare into darkness. I wait for someone to come out or for it to close but instead it waits. As if it is for me. I can stay here, live a dull boring existence or I could take the leap and explore this universe. See these other worlds I have heard so much about. I can maybe find a place to call my own. Taking another look at Brisbane and back to the portal, I nodded to myself. 

I might as well. One foot forward through door, I expect my foot to hit land on something solid but instead it is nothing and I fall through. 

Don't want to wait - read ahead

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