"Guess I am going to a park tour in Finland over the weekend,

Ugh! Will this

Even pacify his royal highness, Mr. Tux? No! That's

Super unlikely.

So unlikely,

In fact that he

Might just

Go and ruin it for everyone instead, because

Of course he will,

I'm certain he's

Not

Going to behave at all

The entire tour because

Of course he's not going to! I

Feel like even

If there's an alien invasion and the aliens decide they want him he'd probably end up being a

Noxious stain in their

Lives, and then they'll throw him

Away like they

Never took him away in the first place! I still

Doubt aliens are real,

Obviously. That's all science fiction! It's so

Very stupid people

Even believe aliens are

Real! That's all

That's on the news lately, it's so stupid!

How can the humans

Even believe this load of nonsense?!

Wish I knew the answer to that! But, do I? I don't!

Eh, they can go ahead and believe

Everything they hear and

Keep being the stupidest lot of people to

Ever walk this earth and see where that gets them because, let's be honest, the humans are

Naive and they don't even know half the time what kind of

Damage they're doing to this world! They're a bunch of

Fools for not seeing the truth

Of their

Rancid actions, they're ruining this planet by warming it up!

Ah, well, whatever, enough of that, let's focus on the

Park tour that I shouldn't have signed up for

At all! I'm

Rather certain this will be yet another forced bonding attempt! Why do I have to

Keep going

To this stupid support group for? For the last time, I don't need friends, why doesn't anyone understand that? Do I have time for that? Do I have the money for that,

Obviously not, look at the bills that keep eating

Up everything, and not to mention the

Recent big addition to my money problems, this SoulCritter

I didn't even ask for, let's

Be honest here, I was better off not

Ever finding my SoulCritter, because look at

The facts!

This cat is a big money sink! Let's not forget,

He recently snuck onto my laptop

And charged up a storm and

That caught the attention of my older brother! I'm so

Going to have to pay quadruple the

Rent now to make up for this

Egregious

Mistake, possible even a years worth! I feel

Like I won't get a refund for what

I returned either! Ugh, I

Need to lock down all of my tech!

Why did

I have to be given a Soulcritter with the ability to read and type?! This is

Literally a match made by

Lucifer!

Rrrr, no

Ugh, let's not bring demon names

Into this, they'd use that as a reason to poke a

Needle straight

Into my eyes, and

Tell me, why

Are you saying my

Name in vain, hmm, hmm, hmm?!

Do not ever say a demon's

Name in vain,

Or I'll poke

That eye out of yours! I

Bet they're going to do it when I go to work today, too!

Eh, forget it, that's just

How being

A fixer upper works, getting

Very ridiculous jobs no one

Ever wants to, or

Likes to do for pay!

I can't believe this what I ended up using my hospitality degree for!

Khh, who

Even cares anymore? I'll end

Up working every

Single day

Until I drop dead

And barely having money

Left

When I pay the bills and

Have to get Mr. Tux everything he demands,

Yippee! Being moneyless is

Delicious, ha ha ha ha!

Oh, forget

It. Just, forget it, why do I

Even bother? I'm

Very much trapped in this life! Ha! Getting a SoulCritter will fix me,

Everything will get better once you find yours!

Nope, not true, so

Back

Off with all of

That trash that

Hardly applies to me

Even a little!

Rrr, whatever, who cares?

Sigh, this park tour over the weekend

Is probably

Going to end in disaster, isn't it?

Ha ha ha, of course it is! Hooray!"