“Erm, say what now?!” I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out as the Hunkathron 1000 over there was smirking with self-satisfaction.

“My boon, little one.” Ew, no. “My power, the protection of my flesh, my very essence…” The dragon, Caelian, reached out to caress my cheek. All of a sudden, the dusty air took on a pinkish hue, and I heard a strange melody playing out of nowhere. What the hell was going on?!

“Not many mortals can brag of having such power.”

“That’s all great and all…” I hurried to say as I pushed the extremely veiny hand away from my face. Thankfully, that stopped the music as well. “... but I am here to cure the forest blight. Know anything about it, oh ancient one?”

Caelian huffed in amusement, but backed away. He looked out dramatically towards the direction of the cave entrance and spoke. At length.

“I know the blight you speak of. It used to be a protection spell, placed upon these woods to keep them in the season of Spring for all eternity. The Heart of the Forest.”

That extremely generic name reverberated through the cavern, and I could swear I heard a literal sound effect of a droplet appearing out of nowhere right by my ear. I looked up, looking for stalactites, but the damn dragon crumbled them all during his stretch earlier.

“Over the centuries, it was corrupted. Now that I am free, I can purify it and stop this blight from harming your people.” The dragon turned towards him, smiling and reaching out his massive hand.

“Let us leave this place.”

Score! Problem solved. I was a little disappointed that the mystery of this Heart of the Forest wasn’t more elaborate. So far there were no particular hurdles or challenges to conquer, except for bleeding on a seal and dealing with an exhibitionist dragon. But maybe the mystery came after. Maybe the author was lulling me into a false sense of security. I loved that kind of trope.

“Alright then! Let’s head out!” I smiled and began to make my way out of the cavern. By the time I reached the surface and my eyes adjusted to the daylight, the dragon was exactly five paces behind me at all times. It was a little weird but I just rolled with it and gestured to the woods.

“Any idea where we should go?”

Caelian stepped forward, kneeling on the ground and closing his eyes. He placed his palm on the earth and slowed. All sounds stopped for a second, birds suspended in mid-flight, a dragonfly frozen right before my eyes. That was one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

He rose after a few moments, the world coming back to itself.

“We go that way.” he pointed towards a generic patch of the woods.

“Awesome! Lead the way.” I exclaimed and hopped along, trying to keep up with his long stride.

“What is your name, elf?” He asked, flipping his long, flowy locks out of his face as he walked uphill, barefoot.

“I’m Ch…” I hesitated, catching myself at the last second. I had no idea what not following the script would do. Would a system pop up, yelling at me that I was out of character and throwing punishments around? I probably shouldn’t risk it.

“I’m Ethan.” I finally said, cringing at the generic name so unfit for an elf.

“Had to think about it, did you?” Caelian raised a brow, levelling me with a penetrating stare.

“It’s just. I’m embarrassed about it. It’s so human-sounding.” I made up some bullshit to cover my tracks. Considering he didn’t press the issue, I assumed it worked.

We walked a little further until the sun finally toppled over the horizon. In the evening darkness, I could feel him behind me, keeping his distance but still unquestioningly there. Suddenly, my keen-elven eyes (thank you, Tolkien, for the feature) saw movement from the bushes to our left. I raised a fist on instinct, a gesture for Caelian to stop. With the other hand, I pulled out my bow and notched an arrow, expecting company.

Two shadow wolves, because I honestly had no other way to describe giant direwolves clad in shadows, jumped out before me, teeth bared and claws shining in non-existent moonlight. I dodged and swerved, expertly rolling away from their blows as I released volley upon volley of arrows, each meeting its mark but not really doing much damage. I finally hit one in the eye, and it toppled to the ground, dead. Knowing their weak spot, I dispatched the other one with ease as well.

As I was turning back to Caelian, a little smug about my awesome skill, one shadow wolf literally clipped through the textures like it was a buggy video game right below me. I dodged, but not fast enough to avoid one of its claws scratching my neck slightly. Doing a dope backflip, I notched another arrow and killed it where it popped out from, landing elegantly in a superhero pose.

As I rose, satisfied with myself, however, Caelian was at my side, hand reaching to my neck.

“You are hurt!”

“Just a scratch, really. Did you freaking see that? Wolf just popped out of nowhere!”

“Who did this to you!?”

I froze, looking at Caelian with confusion.

“Erm… the wolf. You were literally there.”

The dragon’s eyes glowed in the dark as the air around us was sucked away as if in a vacuum. He leaned over, hot breath skidding along my neckline as his tongue licked the blood clean off my wound.

I am a pretty chill dude. A little skinship is fine by me, especially in a life-or-death situation such as this. But why the hell did the night air take on a pink hue, the fucking music from back in the cave came back, and time felt like it slowed to an artistic slow-mo?! Also, why the hell was this dude licking my blood!

I pushed him off me, clutching at my neck, belatedly realising that the cut was gone. Apparently dragons had healing saliva. Handy. If I just considered this like Sparkie licking my hands when he was excited, it wasn’t so bad. The problem was, Caelian was breathing heavily, all glistening with sweat, eyes hooded, staring at me.

I had a sinking feeling I might have misunderstood the genre of this novel, and now I was well and truly screwed.