A few moments later, Kenta was inside a pure white room, his eyes were covered with glasses, and a man sat in front of him, interrogating him
"Who are you?"
"Why did you do that?"
"How many more are there with you"
"Did you use that thing?"
He answers with what he knows
Then the man asks him
"Can you explain how you got into this?"
Kenta nodded and start explaining
(18 hours 34 minutes before)
Tokyo high school
Kenta was with his friend
Akira muzashino
Kenta said "hey Akira, what are you planning to do this afternoon?"
"Homework maybe?"
"You're no fun"
After akira managed to convince kenta to come with him to have a walk in downtown
Then, they heard a scream, one, two, ten.... They increased, then they saw many of the creatures
"RUN!!!"
Both of them sprinted in the crowd, but got separated a minute later, kenta got into a jungle, he thought he was safe until he heard the grotesque sounds, he ran through the woods and reached the cave, got in the robot, accidentally clicked the start button, and the rest is what the man knows
The man stares at Kenta then says "whatever the truth is, we're gonna keep you captive"
He adds "do you understand?"
Kenta nods "yes..."
The man nods and stands up and left the, while Kenta was guided through the hallways and brought to a room, the window was the size of a wall, a bed, a table, a chair, a bookshelf and a closet, a washroom was right beside the closet
So uh I don't really know if you read my advice you don't really have to its your story but you still have a lot of run-on sentences (Btw this is a really cool concept) and also using time-skips aren't a problem but overusing them can confuse the reader also its fine if you don't want to write them talking but its better if you do so that obviously the reader knows or you can reveal it slowly with some flashbacks also "...." is a complete pause and means a ellipse and the end of a sentence "..." this is an ellipse btw, it did seem you used the comma rule though with putting a comma before a conjunction most of the time like in front of "but" or "and"
A war between humans and ancient creatures is started, again
Kenta, our main character, gets involved into all of this because of something far more stranger...
Comments (3)
See all