CH4.01: Staying Away (I)
【Suu】

The next few days had Suu feeling like there were way more than twenty-four hours in a day. Hours packed tight with two very irritating problems.

The first problem, was that her friends smothered her with veiled threats, brutal roasts, and desperate pleas to ‘spill’ the truth. “How the hell do you know Vaishaka Desakshi?”, was the golden question.

Sadly, neither Loh nor Yaa bought any of her ‘he’s just a customer’ explanations. Loh threatened to perform brain-surgery on her to ‘extract’ the truth (in Loh’s words, “I don’t care that Pharmacy doesn’t teach that,”); and Yaa threatened to stop bringing her free snacks from her family’s restaurant. That second threat felt like an actual stab to the chest. But Suu swallowed her disappointment and refused to elaborate.

“If little Miss ‘He’s-just-a-customer’ ends up falling for the ‘Customer’,” Loh declared to Yaa as they packed up to leave for their classes, “then she owes us both ten gold coins each,” she scowled.

“You nerds owe me twenty if nothing happens,” Suu taunted back, and the girls arrived at a solid deal. All sorted out; minus the teasing.

The second problem was far more insidious: Suu hated how she couldn’t get that Fox-faced ‘customer’ out of her mind. Thoughts about him seemed to get under her skin like an irritating itch. And it wasn’t just him, there was a little something else too.

That little book he’d flashed her. That stupid, cute little book and its weathered edges. Memories of it kept her awake at night. It plagued her dreams, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. This is so f—king stupid, she admitted to herself.

If only she hadn’t gotten such a good look at it back then. Of that deep red, almost blood-like shade of its cover. It was surprisingly small, reminding her of the custom notebooks that Pa used to bind for her back in school. They were so much easier to use with her small hands compared to the huge slab-like notebooks that most kids used. The teachers weren’t happy about it, but they were more than happy about Pa sharing the custom-size notebooks with several other smaller children in class, free of charge.

But what was a book of that size doing in Fox-face’s pocket? It’s none of my godsdamned business, let’s be honest, Suu sighed to herself.

And to be even more honest, the size was probably a coincidence, seeing that any book would probably look tiny in Fox-Face’s unreasonably large hands; at least she thought as much from having stared at them. Not to mention his thick, long fingers—she slapped herself and took a deep breath. STOP IT.

If nothing else, the book was clearly important to him. If he had it on him during lectures, it was safe to assume he had it on him at all times. Maybe? Well, whatever it was, it was clear he didn’t want people peeking into it. Or maybe he was just teasing her with it.

Either way, none of my business, she decided.

Some truths were better left buried within never-to-be-opened pages, or so she believed. If her high-school Physics textbook taught her anything, that was it. She wished she’d never opened that f—king thing, and the only reason she believed in higher powers was because she somehow managed to pass that exam.

But back to Fox-face and his Secret Book. She briefly wondered if it was just straight up raunchy sh*t written in there. The thought of which made her grimace. Not that there was anything wrong with it per se, but just like his voice, that would be yet another thing that didn’t quite jam with his pretty little face.

Speaking of faces, Pa seemed to have forgotten all about Fox-face, so that was a tiny bit of relief amidst the p*ss storm that she’d sailed into. Be that as it may, Suu’s curiosity soared sky-high, and between the lack of sleep and constant teasing from her friends, her self-control began to unravel bit by bit.

While this raged on, Fox-face thought it was a good idea to visit the bookstore; although to be fair to him, he did come by on a specific day she’d listed out. Professor Desakshi had sent back a confirmed list—she wanted to buy every single book in it—and Fox-face paid up front. Now, it was just a matter of the young man coming over to pick up those books. There was little to complain about, at least on paper.

With Pa away with teaching classes, she didn’t jolt as much when her star customer sauntered into the bookstore.

“Nice to see you again, Fox-face,” she tossed him her well-practiced, retail smile. Fox-face smiled right back, looking around, possibly to make sure they weren’t being watched by other customers. But when he sauntered over to talk to her, Suu ducked her head under the counter. When she heard a confused ‘whoa, where’d you go?!’, she immediately popped back up, pulling out an already packed bag of books from the Professor’s order. Fox-face’s confused smile faltered.

“Wow, Cat-Eyes,” he grumbled, crossing his arms. “Trying to kick me out already? I was hoping to browse some books today,” his voice fell.

Suu tossed him a smile that rivaled fake gold. “Do you really need another book when you’ve allegedly got ‘the greatest piece of literature’ tucked away in your undies?” she pointed at his pant-pocket that held his little book. Its outlines stuck out a smidge, as if to prove her point.

For a few moments, Fox-face stared, blinking several times. He then made a sound and a face that admittedly made Suu want to laugh hard, but she clamped her lips together. What she didn’t want to admit even more, was that his low, rumbling laughter lit up something entirely unfamiliar inside her.

Adding that to my ‘sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, she mumbled in her mind.

“Well what’s,” he choked out while biting back another wheeze. “Well what’s your favorite type of book then?”

“Fake relationship romances,” she lied through her teeth without skipping a beat; very pleased with herself. “With lots and lots and lots of sloppy romance.”

Fox-face’s eyebrows arched. “Thought you said that wasn’t your favorite type of story to read,” he lowered one eyebrow into a frown. His tone made it clear he didn’t believe a word of what she’d said.

Suu’s face nearly hurt from the flashy grin that reached her eyes. “I was obviously lying.” She watched with great satisfaction as Fox-face’s pretty face scrunched with annoyance.

Once he left to browse, she began billing one of the other customers. Although she politely engaged with them, she constantly had an eye out for a familiar head of long hair in a half-up bun. Still worse, a tiny part of her wished for him to stay longer and—she paused.

‘Sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, entry number two. She went about her work.

Several minutes later, Fox-face stood in front of her with one single book. She tried her best not to make a face at him, but as she wrote down his bill, she realized it was a fake-relationship romance novel. She could feel him leering at her with a cheeky smile, so she did her best to finish his purchase up without looking at him.

Watching him stuff his new book and a portion of his mother’s order into his bag, she finally looked up at him, only to find him already smirking at her—and then he leaned in.

Her eyes locked with his at a respectable distance, but it didn’t matter with how much of a tease he was being. Heart thundering in her chest, she watched as a few of his locks nearly teased the side of her face. A sly smile spread across his lips.

“Greatest piece of literature tucked away in my undies for sure,” he said in a low whisper as he tapped his pocket. Before she could react, he poked his tongue out at her and immediately left the store, leaving her in a wide-eyed, simmering, warm-faced mess.

‘Sh*t-to-never-think-about’ list, entry number…oh I hope he runs into a lamp-post, she rubbed her palms against her warm face, unable to control her embarrassing smile.

The next morning, she made up her mind: she was going to find out what the hell was written in that godsdamned little book.

Is it any of my business? Not one bit, she reminded herself again. But I must do this for Science.

What if that book contains the secrets to the universe?

Realistically, it’s probably a bunch of sh*tty pick-up lines.

But I must find out. For Humanity.

She started out easy enough, asking the only three girls in his course if they’d ever seen Fox-face walk around with that little book. They glanced at each other worriedly before admitting they had no idea, except one girl who seemed to be deep in thought.

“This is just hearsay, but…” she studied Suu’s face with a slight frown. “…but I have heard of him carrying a little book around, yes. I hear he laughs when he reads it.”

“Any idea what its all about?” Suu looked at the girl with her eyes full of hope.

Please, anything at all I can roast him with, she yelled in her mind.

“No clue, I’ve never seen him read it in class,” the girl admitted with a sigh. Suu nodded and thanked her, but the girl pat her shoulder and gave her a concerned squeeze. “But let me tell you this, little sis. I think you should probably stay away from him.”

Next stop, University Library. Mrs. Sarang sat up straight as a flagpole the moment Suu mentioned Fox-face’s name.

“A little red book that Mr. Desakshi carries around…?” the old librarian looked down with a frown. After thinking for a bit, she looked at Suu with a solemn face. “I don’t think he’s ever borrowed something like that from here, and well…it could just be a personal diary, little one.”

Suu slumped her shoulders and sighed as she considered Mrs. Sarang’s words.

She’s probably right, I— before she could finish that thought, Mrs. Sarang’s hesitant voice called out to her.

“Err, listen, little one. While I’m sure Mr. Desakshi is not a bad person…” the old librarian whispered in a concerned tone. Suu blinked when she recognized the expression on the old woman’s face—just like the girls in Fox-face’s class. “…I think you should probably stay away from him.”

Thanking her, Suu decided to give up. For the day, of course. Because she’d made up her mind, unfortunately, that she’d get down to the bottom of that raggedy little book.

Vriya City was a big place after all, and she knew her way around for the most part. There were places she could go to and people she could ask about Fox-face and his little book. All she had to do was braid her hair nice and tight, put on some nice clothes, and carry around a shoulder-bag (no one needed to know it was empty).

Unfortunately, by the third day of her ‘investigative journalism’, she’d seen and heard enough to write an actual newspaper article.

The local printers had looked at her as if she were a lost child; the City Library’s manager had asked her if things at home were okay; and the Book-binding store’s owner had stared at her with pure alarm. That old lady went onto tell her that her parents were good people and that she shouldn’t be giving them a hard time in their old age.

All that, tossed in with snips and scraps of information about Fox-face. Information that she entirely didn’t know what to do with.

It ranged across “He won’t dress like it but his family’s loaded”, “Don’t let the pretty face fool you girl, that boy’s a bison”, “Yeah he used to part-time in heavy construction, somewhere in Urai. Strong kid, that one”, and “Tattoos? Those are protective charms from the River Shrine; made by the Jālan head-priestess there. Safe to assume that the boy’s been through some sh*t in his life, that’s all I’ll say.”

Worst of all, every single one of those people had ended their conversations with the same, hushed, unsolicited advice: “You should probably stay away from him.”

By the end of the third and final day, Suu found herself watching a bunch of scraggly little boys and girls playing hoop; scrambling to dunk a large colorful ball through a metal hoop on a pole. Drumming her fingers on her thigh, she was lost in thought. Memories of her childhood came rushing back to her; specifically of Prasu winning ever single game of hoop against her. It helped that he was the size of a small tree, of course. Presently, she had half a mind to chuck a certain stupid little book right through the hoop, wondering how many points that would give her.

Oh, what the hell.

Having nothing left to lose, she called out to the little kiddos and asked them if they’d ever seen a ‘long-haired big-brother with a tattooed arm walking around with a stupid little red book anywhere in town’. They didn’t even let her finish her question before they started glancing at each other like a bunch of worried puppies.

There’s no way they know him, Suu’s left eye twitched. Is this what it feels like to win the lottery?! But before she could ask any further, words were already being directed at her.

“Big-sis,” one of the children, a tall young girl, began anxiously, “you should probably stay away from him.”

Suu blinked several times as the kids looked at her with the same worried faces she’d seen over the last few days. It was almost as if she was hallucinating.

“He shared banana chips with us yesterday though,” a little boy chimed in, and the next moment the kids broke out chattering amongst themselves. Suu stared at them continuously until the same taller girl addressed her again.

“He’s kind to us, yes, but…” the girl paused, scratching her head. “…but he rarely smiles. He looks so sad, you know? But…the elders in our neighborhood tell us he’s dangerous because he has tattoos, so...”

Sad? Suu frowned, thinking back to Fox-face and his coy smiles. “That makes no sense,” she countered, genuinely concerned. “They shouldn’t worry so much unless he’s a criminal or something,” she said with an exaggerated tone.

It brought her no joy to think of Fox-face from the point-of-view of judgmental old folks, but she could kind of see their concern. There was a menacing air about him, unfortunately. She thought back to the day they’d met at the university dining halls, and Yaa’s words drifted across her mind: “He just seems to be this…miserable recluse, or something.”

When Suu looked at the little girl again, the child was looking at her with tented eyebrows. “Big-sis, can you keep a secret?” She nearly whispered.

A frown flashed across Suu’s face for a moment before she gave the girl a reassuring nod. “Of course,” she extended her open palm. “I won’t tell anyone, not a soul. I promise.”