Chapter 13. The original novel? (taro bubble tea)

Phương said, “So tell me, what’s been happening in the last few decades? How’s the climate?”

Zhèng Huá blinked. “The climate? Uh, there’s still global warming I guess. In the last twenty years…we had a big pandemic. It spread all over the world and a lot of people died.”

“Oh, that sounds bad.”

Zhèng Huá nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty bad.” He was down for a bit. Then he had some taro bubble tea and brightened up. “Oh yeah! Do you know of WHITE/RED? They’re were a really famous super pretty idol group and even won some foreign awards!”

“I don’t listen to idol groups,” Phương said.

Zhèng Huá didn’t give up, naming more famous (and infamous) international figures and the major things they did in the last few decades.

“…Ugh, I wish I had my phone and then I could show you their hit song!” Zhèng Huá gave Phương a plaintive look. “Are you sure you can’t refine a phone?”

“I already told you, a phone is more than just the device itself,” Phương said. “Unless you’re willing to re-develop programming. And how are you going to download a song from another world?”

“What if I commission you?”

Phương’s lips curled up. “Well, if you have enough money, sure.”

Zhèng Huá made a face. “This isn’t a business-themed novel.” His voice lowered. “Speaking of novels, I’m pretty sure this world is a novel.”

Phương pretended to act surprised. “Wow, really? What kind of novel? It’s not a System novel, is it?”

“It’s a xianxia one, of course. No system. I read it before I transmigrated. The main hero gets powerful, gets a harem, that kind of stuff. I’m a side character that was mentioned in it. Except…”

“Except it’s not going according to the novel?”

“Ah! How did you know?”

“If it was going according to the novel, I don’t think you’d be here having bubble tea with me.”

“That makes sense.” Zhèng Huá had more bubble tea. Then he sighed. “No, it’s even worse than that. The plot is going completely haywire. There’s a secretly evil male character who’s pretending to be a senior in my sect. He’s supposed to hang around the main character and make the female love interests waver, you know? But instead, he’s hanging around me! No matter where I go, it’s as though he knows exactly where I am. I mean, he did save me a few times but still, it’s annoying, I don’t know when he’ll pop up!”

“If it appears as though he knows exactly where you are, then the simplest explanation is that he does know where you are.”

Zhèng Huá’s mouth dropped open. Luckily he didn’t have any bubble tea in his mouth. “But…! But…! That wasn’t in the original novel!”

“What happens right before your senior appears? Are you thinking about something in particular?”

“Oh…” Zhèng Huá mindlessly drank bubble tea as he thought. “I guess...I’m thinking about him. Cursing him in my mind,” he added sheepishly. “Sometimes I’m in danger, or I’m about to meet the main character…”

ZZZZZ!!

A dark crack appeared in the air. A tall man dressed in black and silver robes emerged on the beach. He immediately spotted Phương and Zhèng Huá sitting in the house and started swiftly walking towards them.

He paused only briefly at the threshold to read the tearoom name before entering.

“Zhèng Huá-shīdì,” the tall man said. He frowned at Phương and touched the sword at his waist.

Zhèng Huá’s mouth dropped open. “Shīxiōng, why are you here? Also, why are you dressed like that, as though you’re from a demonic sect?”

Phương stood up. “Welcome. Let me make a drink for you.”

With that, Phương walked to the kitchen area.

“You—” Zhèng Huá’s voice was cut off as a privacy array activated around him and the newcomer.

Phương pretended not to notice them talking at each other. Zhèng Huá seemed to like original drinks, so he prepared a new cup of matcha bubble tea next. As for the newcomer, Phương decided to make a healthy drink with goji berries, jujube syrup and ginger.

Their arguing seemed to take a turn when the tall cultivator suddenly embraced Zhèng Huá and kissed him. After a moment, Zhèng Huá hugged him back and deepened the kiss.

Phương politely averted his gaze as the kissing intensified. Had this turned into a Chinese BL novel? Or perhaps this Zhèng Huá was actually in a Chinese BL fanfic of the novel he said he had read.

The world contains multitudes, Phương thought. He wondered how that young man with the Wives Are Bigshots System was going.

Out in the sea, water rushed to part as an azure dragon emerged from the water. Long Quang spotted the people in the tearoom and he froze mid water/air.

There was someone else there with anh Phương.

Two someone-elses!

Long Quang recognised one of them—and that man was kissing the other man!

His stomach flipped and his chest constricted. The sour taste in his mouth mixed in with an inexplicable sense of relief and…other feelings he couldn’t identify.

The two men stopped kissing. The tall man wrapped a protective arm around the other man and stared at Long Quang.

Feeling that sharp gaze, Long Quang shook off his thoughts and transformed.

As he approached the tearoom, he bowed slightly to the tall man.

“Sect Leader Xīn Lìjūn,” Long Quang said. He recognised the man’s face—as a child, he was shown what different dangerous human cultivators looked like before he was allowed to leave the dragon kingdom.

The tall man—Sect Leader Xīn Lìjūn—frowned. “Who are you? What’s a dragon doing here?”

Both Long Quang and Sect Leader Xīn Lìjūn looked at Phương.

Phương smiled. “So it’s Sect Leader Xīn. This is little Long Quang. Both of you feel free to take a seat.”

Zhèng Huá pushed Xīn Lìjūn away. “Sect Leader Xīn? Jūn-Shixiong, do you have something to explain to me?”

“He’s the Sect Leader of the Demon Abyss Pavilion, the largest demonic sect northern continent,” Long Quang said.

Zhèng Huá gasped. “Shīxiōng!” (As though he didn’t know already.)

Phương came over with the two drinks. “Here you go. Matcha bubble tea and goji berry tea.”

Zhèng Huá’s eyes lit up. “Matcha!” He gave Xīn Lìjūn a look. “You’re safe for now.” He sat back down and took a big sip of his matcha bubble tea. His eyes fluttered close in enjoyment.

“...What is this drink?” Sect Leader Xīn Lìjūn said, holding his drink with a suspicious look.

“Tch, just drink it,” Zhèng Huá said.

“It’s a herbal drink made of goji berries, jujube syrup and ginger,” Phương said.

Zhèng Huá chortled. “Oh, that’s a health drink for old people, like you, Sect Leader Xīn.”

“Let me have a taste of yours,” Xīn Lìjūn said.

“Hey!”

Xīn Lìjūn had a sip and then made a face. “Tsk, why is it so sweet?”

“It’s bubble tea, you wouldn’t understand, you old man,” Zhèng Huá retorted.

“Call me shīxiōng,” Xīn Lìjūn said.

“Sect Leader,” Zhèng Huá said.

“Shīxiōng.”

Zhèng Huá smirked. “What do you want, Jūn-shīdì?”

Phương and Long Quang looked at each other while the other two squabbled like there was no one else around.

Phương smiled. “Take a seat, I’ll make you some bubble tea too.”

Long Quang didn’t want to sit with the two unfamiliar cultivators, so he followed Phương towards the kitchen area and sat on the tall stool by the kitchen island.

Phương mixed some taro bubble tea and some matcha bubble tea for Long Quang. “Have a taste.”

Long Quang took a sip of the taro bubble tea first. The sweet, starchy taste of the taro and the chewy pearls immediately improved his mood. “Mm.” Then he had a sip of the matcha bubble tea. The drink wasn’t as sweet, but the green tea flavour was strong. “Mmm.”

“How are you going? I assume you’ve finished all your bubble tea.”

Long Quang huffed. “Yeah! And I barely drank any! Some other dragon clans came to visit and that phoenix came too, and they all wanted my bubble tea.”

Phương resisted the urge to pat Long Quang. “I’ve made a new tapioca pearl-making machine, so I can provide you with even more bubble tea. But surely they’ll get tired of it.”

“Your bubble tea is so good, how could anyone get tired of it?” Long Quang mumbled. He sipped his two cups of bubble tea. “You don’t understand dragons. Once we like something, we like to hoard it for centuries. This time, I need you to make one thousand cups of bubble tea for me to take away.”

“One thousand…” Phương’s expression cracked a little.

“Hey!” Zhèng Huá came over. “What’s this about taking away bubble tea?”

Long Quang looked down on this human who didn’t know as much as him. “You may acquire bubble tea to take away and enjoy later.”

Phương nodded. “That’s right.”

Zhèng Huá’s face lit up. “Then make me ten traditional milk tea with boba, ten matcha, ten taro, ten brown sugar, ten jasmine with cream cheese foam, all with extra boba and full sugar, no ice!!”

“Got it,” Phương said. “Ten traditional, ten matcha, ten taro, ten brown sugar, ten jasmine with cream cheese foam, extra boba, full sugar, no ice.” After hearing Long Quang’s ‘one thousand’, making fifty bubble tea was nothing.

Long Quang lowered his eyes and quietly sipped his bubble tea, internally shocked that one could order bubble tea like that. Then next time he should also ask for extra boba and extra sugar!

Transmigrator: *busy practicing swordsmanship so that he can rise to the peak!*

Future Bigshot Wife: Look at him practicing so hard, isn’t he so cute? Here, have this super rare sword tassel that will increase the power of your sword by ten times!

Transmigrator: ? Thank you big sister. Um, big sister, I don’t really have anything to pay you back. I picked up this nice flower?

Future Bigshot Wife: *rubs his head* Don’t worry, big sister will support you!

My Wives Are Bigshots System: (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ Work hard, Host!

Transmigrator: Yes! I will reach the peak! (✪▽✪)

My Wives Are Bigshots System: (I meant work hard to get married but Host seems to be doing well  (~‾‾∇‾‾  )~ )

Main Character from Zhèng Huá’s harem novel: Huh? Where’s my future foreign princess wife?

Notes:

WHITE/RED: based off BLACKPINK

Shīdì (师弟): Junior martial brother

Shīxiōng (师兄): Senior martial brother

Demon Abyss Pavilion: 魔渊阁 Móyuān Gé, picked from https://chinesenamelab.com/demonic-sect-names

The story about Zhèng Huá and Sect Leader Xīn Lìjūn actually was inspired by/based on The Cannon Fodder’s Inner Thoughts Were Overheard by the Villain (炮灰被反派听到心声后[穿书]) !