As clean as I was going to get, I hustled my butt back to the food court and Groovy Smoothie as fast as I could. Because of course, it didn’t matter if this had been a service for the safety of the city, I didn’t get time off to chase down criminals and haul them back to security and I had already spent way too much time on that little punk as it is.
And I could just imagine the other little punk I had to deal with that would be overjoyed to make sure I had another write up.
And there he was. 
He tried to fold his fat arms over his bulging bosom, but they couldn’t quite reach. A sneer greeted me as I came up to the shop. I tried to duck around him, but he stepped in my way.
“Running off, ditching work again Angie?”
No, I was doing my civic duty and fighting crime where ever I could in whatever capacity I could. I clenched my jaw shut.
Nick the Dick’s sneer pulled into a sharp smile.
“Don’t worry, I called Manager Andy the moment you left.”
I’m sure you did you little prick.
There was almost laughter in his voice.
“You’ll probably be getting another write up.”
And he looked oh so happy about that.
He tried to pull his smile into a sympathetic frown, the attempt was almost comical.
“You know Angie, I’m really doing this for your benefit. I’m just trying to help you.”
Was he honestly stupid enough that he thought anyone would believe that, or could he not smell the bullsh*t coming out of his own mouth?
Nick the Dick finally got done gloating and waddled off, snickering as he jiggled away.
Hurrying to make up for the time Nick the Dick delayed me, I rounded the corner of the cashier’s counter, barely glancing as I scooted passed Regina. She whipped her head around so her too wide eyes could follow me as I hurried by.
Uh oh, way did she look so freaked?
And that’s when a customer decided to help the situation.
“Hey Miss! Hey you Miss! How long am I going to have to wait around here before someone can put two brain cells together and figure out how to take my order?”
Remember your mantra, Angie. I am a great mountain. The wind might howl, but it can not move me. I am a mountain! I am a mountain! I am a mountain!
I looked down at my toes to take a deep breath.
“Hey, blondie, get your butt over here and take my damn order!”
That’s it, this mountain is about to avalanche all over someone’s ass!
I stormed over to the counter, slapped my hand against the surface hard, making a thunderclap loud enough to make the mall crowd jump as one. Then I pointed at Mr. Impatient. 
The words growled out between clenched teeth. I could feel my eyes blazing.
“You! You are going to wait, or you can leave!”
The loud mouth suddenly shut his trap and shriveled up a little.
“Yes ma’am.”
Then I spun and headed for the back. I needed to cool down for a sec. Why did I always let Nick the Dick get on my nerves?
Steps followed quickly behind me. Turning I wasn’t surprised to find Regina there.
“Angie, are you okay? You ran off after that madman and then there was a huge fight at the other end of the food court and they said a store exploded and there was wild monsters everywhere.”
Regina was hyperventilating a little and I could see way too much white around her eyes. 
Okay, she really needed to calm down before she made herself pass out.
I huffed and rolled my eyes, playing off the apprehension of the Were criminal as nothing.
“It was a shoplifter, just some dumb kid looking for some thrills. He knocked over a few cages at the magical pet store, but that’s about it. The security is taking care of it now. I was just helping them snag him.”
Regina’s shoulders visibly inched lower as she started to relax.
“Oh thank gods. Seriously, you need to stop worrying me like that! If you keep chasing criminals around, one day you’re going to get hurt.”
I waved my hand and shrugged it off. It wasn’t nearly as dangerous for me as she thought. I conscientiously avoided looking at my bitten off and healed hand. She really didn’t need to know about that.
“It’s fine, I had more trouble with Nick the Dick than the shoplifter.”
Regina rolled her eyes and hooked her arm in mine, steering us back to the cashier’s counter.
“Yeah, I saw lil’ Niki hassling you again. He’s such an ass.”
Nick was out at the counter, and a mischievous smile spread across Regina’s face, she pitched her voice loud enough that he would definitely over hear her.
“Wow Angie, you were so cool the way you leapt over the counter. Just like a super hero! Chasing after bad guys, stopping thieves. You’re sooooo brave! Some people could never do that.”
I knew she was just saying that to mess with Nick the Dick, but it still felt kind of good. He hated me and he hated that Regina like me even more.
Nick the Dick’s cheeks puffed up and he started making weird snorting sounds, we could absolutely hear him angrily muttering under his breath.
Okay, that got a smile on my face.
Regina bumped my hip before she headed over to her register.
“Hey, I’ve got some Forest’s Bane rolls in my purse, want to go out back and smoke them with me on our next break? You’ve had a shitty day, you could totally use a little something to help you relax.”
I shrugged.
“That’s not really my thing.”
Regina was twenty-three and safely above the age limit for consuming Forest’s Bane, and I was old enough that I might not even get carded at an herb dispensarie, but that didn’t mean I felt comfortable smoking something that used to be considered an illegal drug. 
I was from a cop’s family, we stayed above the law. Even when it wasn’t a law anymore.
Nick the Dick of course had to waddle over and butt in, even though no one was talking to him.
“Yeah don’t bother Regina, there’s no way Granny Angie would go for that. She’s too old to understand us young ducks.”
Nick the Dick shot me a smiling sneer.
Yes, because twenty-seven is the new eighty. 
And I guess he was dumb enough to think that I didn’t know what duck aka DUK meant. 
In my time on the force I had busted enough middle schooler aged drug smugglers to have picked up plenty of slang. And I’m not an idiot! Anyone that has a TV could figure out what modern slang means.
Dirty/Dangerous Urban Kids, or DUK referred to young people that embraced counter culture and pursued dangerous or illegal activities. None of which described Regina. She was big into the local metal band and indie rock scene, she dressed in their style, she followed the most popular bands, she was very much in that culture and wasn’t counter anything. 
And Regina didn’t look for ways to break the law or even the rules. 
And considering that the “K” in DUK was already plural, the term was never pluralized. So he wasn’t even using it right.
But in his juvenile little brain twenty-seven was the same as elderly and there’s no way I could understand modern slang.
Nick the Dick stuck out his already massive gut.
“I’ll go smoke with you Regina.”
Um, he’s going to what now?
Instantly snapping into police officer Angie mode, I clamped my hands onto my hips.
“Forest’s Bane is an intoxicating controlled substance, no different than alcohol, or magic mushrooms. All persons that consume a controlled substance must be at least twenty-one years of age by midnight on the day of consumption. Unless you’ve suddenly aged two years, that’s not you Nick.”
Nick the Dick snickered.
“Oh, and what are you going to do? Call the cops?”
I whipped out my phone.
“I have them on speed dial.”
Totally true. I have many family members on speed dial, and all of them are on the police force.
Nick flapped his slack lips.
“Well, well, then I can just call Andy on you!”
I shrugged.
“A break is our personal time not company time, we can do whatever we want with it. Even smoke Forest’s Bane as long as it’s not on company property.”
Nick the Dick opened his mouth to whine some more, but Regina cut him off. She rolled her eyes and looked mildly constipated.
“No thanks Niki, maybe when you grow up?”
Nick the Dick glared at me because I wouldn’t let him break the law, I smiled back at him then turned to Regina.
“You know what, I think I will grab a smoke with you.”
FYI, I didn’t actually smoke anything. I just stood out in the parking lot with Regina while she imbibed. We just chatted and I kept her company.