{Humans, hear us, since we are now [ON YOUR PLANET] and will be [STAYING IN THE LONG TERM] there needs to be some changes around this [BLUE MARBLE YOU CALL YOUR HOME.] We can't help but notice how [VIOLENT AND HOSTILE YOU HOMO SAPIENS SEEM TO BE. FIRST OFF, WHY DO YOU EVOLVED APES HAVE GUNS FOR?] We thought most countries [DID NOT ALLOW JUST ANYONE TO OWN THOSE THINGS] what happened to that? We came here [TO MAKE YOU FIX THIS BURNING CESSPOOL OF A PLANET FROM BECOMING EVEN MORE OF A CESSPOOL OF A PLANET!] But, it would seem the only thing you humans are capable of is [KILLNG EVERYONE AROUND YOU!] So, we have an announcement to make as your galactic overlords from the superior planet Gleop a Gleorp a Leorp!

For starters, we will be banning firearms [ALTOGETHER.] No one, [NOT EVEN THE MILITARY WILL BE ALLOWED TO USE THEM.] And, if you own one, [WE WILL BE EATING THEM. ALONG WITH THAT, WE WILL BE STEALING EVERY SINGLE ONE THAT ISN'T ATTENDED TO.] No more [WEAPONS] and, along with that, [YOU WILL DO AS WE SAY!] As we are [THE NEW WORLD ORDER.] So, listen to us, homo sapiens, [YOU'D BETTER HEAR WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY, OR ELSE!] Quit being so [VIOLENT TOWARDS US. WE ARE JUST TRYING TO FIX WHAT YOU REFUSE TO FIX YOURSELVES.] Which, let's [FACE THE FACTS HERE.] Your planet is [TOAST.] And, thanks to [US, IT WON'T BE TOAST ANYMORE IF YOU JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO ACCEPT YOUR NEW UNIVERSE LEADERS.]

We honestly cannot believe how [BRUTISH] you people are. We thought [THAT INVADING YOUR PLANET WOULD BE A WAKEUP CALL!] But, instead of being a [WAKEUP CALL] you are [SHOOTING US, SHOOTING OUR FRIENDS, AND, NOT TO MENTION, YOU'RE TAKING YOUR SPECIAL NOT PETS BACK BY FORCE!] We already told you how his works. We will be taking those SoulCritters of yours since you refuse to take care of your home planet! This is not [UP FOR DEBATE, NOR IS IT UP FOR NEGOTIATION.] Either make the sacrifice [OR WE WILL BE MAKING THE SACRIFICE FOR YOU.]

Along with that, demons, [HEAR US] how dare you [HIRE PEOPLE TO HAVE US DESTROYED.] You have no right to do that [WE ARE YOUR NEW OVERLORDS.] And, we command you to [STOP HAVING YOUR CHIMERA LAPDOGS TRY TO TAKE US OUT.] Not only is that a [HORRIBLE THING TO DO YOU LOT ARE HONESTLY WORSE THAN HUMANS IN SOME ASPECTS.] We should have also taken your SoulCritters, too, but why do that when it wouldn't teach you anything?

As for you chimeras, [WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE EARTH LIKE WE ASKED YOU TO?] We made a planet [LIVABLE FOR YOU, WE CHANGED IT TO ACCOMADATE ALL OF YOU, WHATEVER YOUR POPULATION NUMBER MIGHT BE], but none of you will head to the [SUPER NICE SPACESHIP] that we left for you. You are contributing the most to [OVERPOPULATION] don't you think we were [NICE TO GIVE YOU AN OPTION TO GO TO A PLANET THAT'S COMPLETELY HABITABLE BY YOUR KIND?] But, no, you choose to [STAY!] That's a big problem.

But, it's fine for now [BECAUSE WE HAVE OBTAINED A VERY INTERESTING SOULCRITTER FROM THE HUMANS DOWN BELOW.] It it a [WEIRD, MALE BLACK CAT WEARING A PURPLE BOWIE THAT STANDS ON TWO FEET INSTEAD OF FOUR.] That is pretty [UNUSUAL] and we wish to [DISSECT THIS THING AS A PUNISHMENT TO ALL THE HUMANS OUT THERE WHO MADE THIS BURNING CESSPOOL OF A PLANET A BURNING CESSPOOL OF A PLANET!] So, to the human we [TOOK THIS FROM, WE WILL BE EATING THIS THING, AND YOU WILL BE SORRY.]

That is [UNLESS, THE HUMAN WE STOLE THIS FROM IS WILLING TO HELP US FIND OUR OWN SOULCRITTERS.] Then, and only then [WIL WE NOT EAT THIS THING.] You have [H HOURS] to reach our ship! If you do not by then [WE WILL BE EATING HIM.] And, if you don't agree to help us find our SoulCritters [WE WILL BE EATING HIM.] So, consider yourself lucky [WE HAVEN'T EATEN HIM YET.] Enjoy your last few minutes of life, kitty. Gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: The Perilous Cape in Enhet, Norway at around three in the afternoon.]

Regaining consciousness who knows when, the cat tailed individual groaned. What happened just now? Oh, right, Mr. Tux was taken by aliens and? And. Oh, no, Mr. Tux was taken by aliens! No, that couldn't have possibly happened. He was dreaming just now when he fell while climbing the mountain nothing more. Time to try again, and?

Bag nowhere to be seen, the young adult let out a laugh. So, it wasn't a dream after all, ha ha. Fine, aliens are real! Can they give back the gremlin before? Oh, no, they're going to eat him! Black round ship still buzzing around all the way at the top of the mountain, he rolled up his sleeves. Alright, invaders, they're going to get it!

Attempting to stand up, the young adult's currently human knees burned. Curses, why can't he move?! Did these aliens put invisible restraints on him?! Why he oughta?! They're going to get it. Reaching for his phone, his fingers twitched over his contacts folder. He has no choice but to type out the accursed h word, sigh.

{Gleep Glorp, human who's still lingering around these parts, if you want your SoulCritter back, you have [H HOURS], or else we will be [EATING THIS FINE SPECIMEN OF YOURS.] Black cat sounds kind of tasty, by the way, [WE WILL BE GOING FOR HIS EARS FIRST, THEN THIS BOWTIE YOU GAVE HIM!}

Announcement dropping back down to earth, the cat tailed individual crawled around in a circle. Oh, no, he only has eight hours to get Mr. Tux back?! He's doomed, they're going to eat him! There's no way he can let that happen! He might be the biggest money sink in the entire world, but why should he let these invaders feast on him!? Quick, he has to, huff, puff, he has to? Nope, his legs aren't budging. Pira, come back, please!

Racing through his contacts folder, the chimera's fingers hovered over the messages application. Who should he contact?! Coiote? No, she's probably way too wrapped up in a shopping spree that won't end until she drops. Natalie? Ha ha, like she's going to climb this mountain, she'll say something like, sorry, darling, I can't climb that high. Varg? No, not him either. Why is he even wasting brainpower thinking about this?! Sigh, he can't believe what he's about to type, but here goes.

{Me}

<Pira, please, help me! The aliens took Mr. Tux, and they're only giving me eight hours to get him back! I don't think I can do this by myself! Sorry to bother you, could you have to come back here right away!>

Message left unread for the next fifteen minutes, the young adult's fingers twitched. Ha ha, so much for the older adults ever being useful. Here lies Siorc Ingne, twenty four years old. Cause of death, rotting in Norway because the aliens ate his SoulCritter and then ate him for mistaking him for a human. What a wonderful way to die, sign him up! He may as well just climb up and? Intense pain throbbing through his ankles, his buttocks became one with the ground once more. Never mind, he's going to die here, goodbye.

Buzz, buzz.

{Pira}

<Sorry for the late response. I'm coming, kiddo.>

{Me}

<Please, you have to come quick, they might eat him any second now!>

{Gleep glorp, pathetic human down below, this is another warning to you! We think it is [COMICAL] that you put this [BLACK CAT OF YOURS] in an [OUTFIT] so, [WHOEVER MADE THIS THING, WE DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEM, TOO.] As you probably saw [WE DO NOT HAVE THIS CLOTH THING ON OUR BODIES] and this planet of yours is [BURNING UP.] That sun of yours [IS PROBABLY GOING TO KILL US.] So, either [MAKE US CLOTHES OR WE WILL EAT MORE THAN JUST THIS BLACK CAT WE TOOK FROM YOU!}

Demands burning in his ears, the hyena gave the pitch black spaceship a nice long glare from up above. Who do these things think they are demanding that of him?! They can go ahead and make their own clothes instead! They have hands that aren't broken, so use them themselves! But, there was no way he could say that, or those things would eat him, too! Quick, think of something! What can he do at a time like this? Ugh, is his head spinning, or is it just him? Please, someone, put an end to this horrible nightmare.

Hearing screams in Norwegian off in the distance as well, the chimera stretched his arms out on the craggy ground beneath him. Ha ha, listen to that, more abductions are on the horizon! Can't these pesky fiends be satisfied with the gremlin they already poached? No? Of course not, why would they be? They probably won't stop until every SoulCritter on earth was in the grasp of their hands! Ugh, forget this. He can't do anything about it right now.

"Kiddo, I'm here," Pira said who knows when. "Let's get Mr. Tux back."

Blinking back into existence, the chimera groaned. What's Pira doing here? Oh, right, he texted him after Mr. Tux was taken by aliens. What time is it right now? Four o'clock. Oh, no, no, oh no, he only has seven hours to get him back, or the aliens will turn him into their next meal! He has to scale the mountain and raid that spaceship up there before it's too late! Ugh. Why is his head spinning so much?

[We have to hurry! Those things said if we don't get him back in eight hours, they're going to eat him! And, they also said if we don't give them clothes, they'll eat other people's SoulCritter's too!] An electronic voice cried through his smartwatch.

"I brought some alien sized raincoats, so don't worry about that part," Pira responded. His eyes then wandered. "What happened to you? Did you fall?"

[I did, but it's fine, I can just transform my legs into hyena ones. We have to hurry! They could be cutting up his ear and eating it right now! I don't even want to imagine what that might look like!] An electronic voice cried through his smartwatch. But, he had soon been grabbed ahold of, placed onto his brother's backside.

"Let's get going, then. I'll be able to reach the top in maybe two hours." He me moved forward.

Holding on tight, the chimera sighed. Is this really necessary? He can just transform, and it'll be fine. In three, two, one, human legs, become hyena ones! Intense pain kicking in, he stabbed such thought with a knife. Forget it, even if he did, it's not like those black and blue decorations would disappear. Ha ha, he's pathetic and useless right now, isn't he? He's a pitiful waste of space who can't even take on a bunch of aliens. May as well fire him from his job, too! Sorry, boss, he got caught up in an alien invasion and lost, give him his pink slip!

[But, aren't I heavy?] An electronic voice asked through his smartwatch.

"Who's the one who carries you back to your apartment when you collapse outside after coming home from work?" There was a serious tone in his voice.

Reminder coming his way, the hyena let out a sigh. Okay, so, maybe Pira had done that a couple of times, no scratch that, his bad, many times, but listen, that was then, this is now. When was the last time that even happened? Oh, right, very recently. Sigh, just add an extra expense or two onto his rent for this, he guessed! Sorry for the inconvenience.

[I'm sorry, Pira.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"Don't be, kiddo," Pira responded, he then took a deep breath. "I'm heading up. Hang tight."

Clinging on for dear life, the hyena gazed at the black monstrous disc creature up above. How long have these invaders been hiding here on earth? A few months, a few weeks? He'll go with awhile, he supposed. He should have taken everyone seriously! Ha ha, too late for that now, and now he's going to pay the price for thinking this was all a sick joke! Nice going, Siorc Ingne.

{Gleep, glorp, you human with the green hair! We see you, and if you climb one step closer, [WE WILL EAT YOUR SOULCRITTER AS WELL!] We know you have one [YOU LOOK TO BE ABOUT IN YOUR MID THIRTIES. REVEAL YOUR SPECIAL NOT PET TO US RIGHT NOW!] If you don't [WE WILL CAUSE A POWERFUL EARTHQUAKE AND BRAINWASH YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY.] So, step down now, or [ELSE YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN.]

Threat announced to the entire world, the chimera broke out into a shiver. Wonderful, just lovely, and now these things are threatening Pira, too. Back off! Go after an actual human instead! But, oh, he forgot, these bug eyed freaks think everyone looks exactly the same! Hyena paws scaling the cliff in silence, he closed his eyes. What they got to say to that, diseased rats?

{Gleep, glorp, did you see that?! That [HUMAN] transformed his [HUMAN HANDS INTO HYENA PAWS.] How did that [HOMO SAPIEN DO THAT JUST NOW?!]}

{Gleep, glorp, that's not a human, [THAT'S A CHIMERA!] Gleep glorp, [CHIMERAS, WE TOLD YOU THAT WE HAVE A NEW PLANET FOR YOU TO CALL HOME! GO TO THE SPACESHIP WE LEFT FOR YOU ALL TO BOARD IN THE ARTOOC ZIRGEL. YOUR NEW HOME AWAITS!] We told you all in length that [YOU ALL NEED TO LEAVE THIS BLUE MARBLE BEHIND YOU'RE CONTRIBUTING TO OVERPOPULATION!}

Aliens going on an on about pointless nonsense, the chimera clicked his tongue. Excuse him, they're contributing to overpopulation?! First of all, there's eight billion humans, and hardly even one billion chimeras! How does that add up here? How many chimeras were there across the world again? Honestly, he doesn't know, but sorry, the terraforming business is dead on arrival! He is so not leaving, not even if they force him to! Take that, invaders!

One hour passing by rather slowly, the chimera's thoughts raced. Is Mr. Tux surviving alright in that ship? He may be the biggest money sink in the world, but that doesn't mean he wanted aliens to take him! Ha ha, he's probably having those invaders wait on him hand and foot! No, on second thought, they're probably making him wait those little gleep glorps hand and foot! Tentacles? Tentacle and foot, he'll go with that instead. Little kitty maid, ha ha ha ha, ha. Ha. No, never mind, just imagining that wasn't funny after all.

"We're halfway there," Pira said in a serious tone. "You hanging in there, kiddo?"

Nodding ever so slightly, the cat tailed individual could feel his will begin to sway. What if it's already too late? Any second now, and these pesky fiends will probably up the ante. In three, two, one, he has two hours, and they'll eat Mr. Tux. Those aliens had better not make that announcement, or he's going to blow a gasket! Actually, no, scratch that, six gaskets.

{Gleep glorp, you won't give up, [CHIMERAS?] We see, we see, you're just like [HUMANS!] You never know when to [SURRENDER. BUT, YOU KNOW IT IS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO WAVE THAT WHITE FLAG.] Alright, chimeras, [LISTEN UP, WE HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU!] If you leave [EARTH LIKE WE INSTRUCTED YOU TO WE WON'T LAY A HAND ON ANYONE ELSE'S SOULCRITTERS!] How does that sound, do we have a deal? [TURN AROUND AND GO TO THE ARTOOC ZIRGEL AND WE WON'T TAKE THE HUMAN'S SPECIAL NOT PETS.}

"We're almost at the top, kiddo. We're going to get him back, I promise you."

Pira's legs becoming hyena ones, too, the young adult closed his eyes. Please, let this work out. Don't let those monsters be dining on kitty right about now! Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. They are, aren't they? He can almost taste the defeat ready to drop blood on his tongue right about now. Goodbye Mr. Tux, goodbye all SoulCritters in Europe, it's over.