Kian’s POV

The terrifying realization crashed down on me all at once. How could I possibly fall for someone like him? What am I even thinking?!

Panic and frustration boiled up inside me. I turned on the sink faucet, splashed freezing cold water over my face, and tried to scrub away the lingering misery. I needed to pull myself together and get back to work.

But over the next few days, the torture only continued. Every single evening, Kai booked a table for that girl, taking her out for romantic dinners while I was left behind to manage the aftermath. It felt utterly unbearable.

It looks like I really do love him...

The confession echoed in my own mind, terrifying and unwanted. Without me even realizing it, my heart had betrayed me. Falling for Kai was so, so wrong. He was my former tormentor, my strict mentor, and now my CEO—and he was clearly seeing someone else.

I need to stop thinking about him. It'll be so much better for my sanity if I just wipe him from my mind.

No matter how many times I told myself that, however, my rebellious mind found a way back to him every single time. Seeing them together was driving me completely insane. I was breaking down piece by piece.

I need to talk to Sun. Maybe talking to someone will help clear my head.

That evening, I arranged to meet Sun at a quiet café near our old campus. As we sat across from each other with cups of coffee, I tried to steer the conversation casually.

"So," I asked, leaning against the table. "How are things going between you and Senior Moon? Are you guys official yet?"

Sun grinned, a soft blush dusting his cheeks. "Pretty good, actually! But... we're still not officially dating yet. We're taking our time."

"Ah..." I murmured, stirring my coffee slowly before looking up at him. "Can I ask you something? How does it feel when you have feelings for someone? How do you actually know that you're in love with them?"

Sun blinked in surprise, tilting his head. "Whoa. Why do you suddenly want to know about that?"

I quickly forced an awkward, defensive smile, waving my hand dismissively. "Oh—um, no reason! Just thinking about the future, you know? So if I ever catch feelings for someone down the road, I'll actually know what it is and how to confess."

Sun smiled warmly, taking a sip of his coffee before leaning in. "It’s honestly something you just know in your heart, Kian. That person stays in your head all the time, completely taking over your thoughts even when they’re not standing in front of you. You can’t stop thinking about them—the way they talk, the things they do, everything."

He paused, looking thoughtfully out the window before continuing. "Even if they're naturally cold, harsh, or incredibly strict with you... if you truly love them, their coldness feels like a strange form of sweetness and hidden care. You feel possessive, jealous, angry, and completely heartbroken when you see them with someone else. For them, you try so hard to change—you try to become the exact kind of person they want. You’d do anything just to hear a single word of praise, just to make them realize that you're worthy of their attention."

Sun’s voice softened, carrying a bit of sympathy. "But when they fail to see your effort... when no matter what you do, they just ignore you... it hurts like hell. And it hurts even more when it’s a one-sided love. They don't care about you at all because their eyes are fixed on someone else entirely. It shatters you. Every single day, you hopelessly wait for them to notice you just once, but they never give you the attention you crave."

Sun chuckled softly, breaking the solemn mood, his eyes lighting up. "Fortunately for me, Senior Moon actually gives me plenty of attention, so I'm happy!"

I forced a tight, cheerful smile onto my face, nodding along with his words. But inside... my soul was shattering into a thousand agonizing pieces.

It's true, I thought, the realization suffocating me. I am in love with him... and it’s completely one-sided.

This was the real reason I had waited so desperately every single day during those two long years just to meet him again. This was why I had checked my phone a hundred times a day, praying for a text or a call from him that never came.

I need to stop this nonsense right now, I told myself, fighting back the lump in my throat. If Kai ever finds out that I have feelings for him... he will hate me so much. He'll despise me. And I could never handle his hatred.

I forced myself to stay at the café a little longer, chatting aimlessly with Sun about ordinary things to keep up appearances. But the moment I finally made it back home and locked my bedroom door, the composure I had maintained all evening completely collapsed.

I sank onto the edge of my bed, buried my face in my hands, and spent the rest of the night wide awake in the dark—sobbing quietly, clutching my chest as my heart broke in complete solitude.

When I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror, my eyes were dark and swollen from crying all night. I slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses to hide them before heading into the office.

The moment I walked into Kai's cabin to hand over his morning briefing files, he looked up from his desk. His sharp gaze locked onto me immediately. "Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors today?"

"I'm... having an allergic reaction today," I lied, keeping my eyes fixed on the floor. "That's why."

"Did you take medication for it?" he asked.

I gave a quick nod, even though it was a total lie. "Yes."

"What's my schedule for today?"

I pulled up his digital calendar and went through his appointments one by one. He nodded silently and immediately got to work reviewing his files. I stood there for a few seconds, taking in the sharp lines of his profile, before turning around to head back to my desk.

Over the next few days, I took care of every single personal detail for him—arranging his lunch meals, organizing his personal items, and managing all the duties expected of a dedicated personal assistant.

Then came an evening when I noticed through the glass partition that he seemed unusually restless.

He was leaning back in his executive chair, massaging his temples with his eyes closed. I knocked softly and stepped into his cabin. "Is everything okay, sir?"

When he opened his eyes, they were bloodshot. His skin looked flushed, and he seemed sick or completely worn out from overworking himself without a single break.

Driven by concern, I stepped closer to his desk and gently placed my hand on his shoulder to feel his temperature. His skin was unnaturally warm—almost hot to the touch.

"You have a fever," I said, my voice full of worry. "Let's go see a doctor."

Before I could pull my hand back, Kai suddenly grabbed my arm in a tight grip. He rose from his seat in one fluid motion, towering over me.

"Kai—"

He pressed forward, trapping me step by step until my back slammed against the wall of his office. He leaned in so close that his chest was nearly touching mine, his heavy, dark eyes locked onto my face.

My breathing grew rapid and ragged. I could barely swallow as he stood inches away from me, radiating a suffocating, intense heat that made my whole body feel like it was burning up from the inside out.

"What are you doing?" I stammered, my heart racing wildly. "Let me call a doctor..."

Kai stared down at my lips, his intense scent flaring heavy and suffocating in the enclosed space.

"Call her," Kai growled softly, his voice dangerously low. "Call her to come here right now."

I blinked in complete confusion. Before I could process what he meant, Kai let go of my arm, pulled out his phone, and dialed a number directly.

"Emma," he commanded into the line, his voice tight and breathless. "Come here right now. I need you."

I stood frozen against the wall, tears pooling in my eyes and spilling over my cheeks.

He needs her...

The realization hit me like a physical blow. Was he going into a rut?

I couldn't help him through something like that... but she could.

My own senses were overwhelmed by the heavy, burning scent filling the room, making my chest ache terribly. Kai turned his eyes toward me, his brow furrowing as he said in a strained, cold voice, "Go home, Kian. Your scent is making it worse—it's suffocating. Go home right now. Take the driver."

The words tore through my heart.

I turned on my heel and rushed out of his cabin, biting back my sobs. I ran into the restroom to wash my face, desperately trying to pull myself together.

When I finally walked out to the main entrance of the building, I saw the girl—Emma—running through the doors. She looked genuinely panicked and worried for Kai.

She caught sight of me as she rushed toward the elevator. "Is he okay?!" she asked, her voice full of genuine concern.

"He's inside his office," I managed to say quietly.

Watching her hurry up to be by his side, the bitter reality settled deep in my heart. They really were lovers, and she was the one he truly wanted when he was vulnerable.

I was just an outsider.

I pulled my jacket tightly around myself and walked out into the cold night air, knowing there was no chance for anything between us.