{Humans, hear us, there is something we need to [TALK ABOUT, AND JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW, THIS IS A SERIOUS TOPIC, SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN UP, HOMO SAPIENS. KEEPS YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO REPEAT OURSELVES, YOU UNDERSTAND?] It would seem that it is very warm for what you humans consider [LAFF SEASON.] We noticed that [THE FOLIAGE HASN'T FALLEN OFF THE TREES YET, AND THAT IS VERY CONCERNING TO US!] Isn't it supposed to be close to [WHAT IS THAT HOLIDAY CALLED AGAIN? OH, RIGHT, WE BELIEVE IT IS ALL KRISMAZ OR SOMETHING] Aren't you homo sapiens close to [THE HOLIDAY SEASON NOW? OR, GIVE OR TAKE A LITTLE OVER A MONTH AWAY?] Shouldn't you all be looking at [SNOW] by now? But, what do we feel? [LOADS OF EXTREMELY HOT AIR! THAT IS QUITE RIDICULOUS IF YOU ASK US.] This needs to change!

We are baffled by how [SIZZLING IT IS, EVEN IN THE ARTOOC ZIRGEL] and our [SOULCRITTERS ARE ALSO BAFFLED AS WELL] which, by the way [EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN HELPING US WITH THIS, YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE AT THIS.] How can you humans be [SO BAD AT FINDING US OUR DESTINED SUPER SPECIAL NOT PETS?] The only person who is good at it is [IS ONE SINGLE PERSON.] And, he is not even a person! As for the other people in the [GET THE ALIENS THEIR SOULCRITTERS PROJECT] you're doing it all wrong, too. [LISTEN TO OUR NEEDS INSTEAD OF GOING OFF THE WRONG VIBES!]

But, back to the [TOPIC]. We think it is [SIMPLY UNFORGIVABLE HOW MUCH OF BURNING CESSPOOL OF A PLANET EARTH HAS BECOME.] And, there is going to be some [CHANGES.] First of all, [STOP WASTING ELECTRICITY ON THINGS YOU DON'T NEED.] You do not need to ask a [ROBOT INSIDE YOUR PHONE WHAT YOU WANT FOR LUNCH TODAY!] It is kind of [BAFFLING] some of you [HUMANS CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT ON YOUR OWN!] And, [THROW YOUR TRASH IN THE GARBABE!] As your new [COSMIC OVERLORDS, THIS IS NOT UP FOR NEGOTIATION, IT'S AN ORDER!] You will spend [AT LEAST TWO HUNDREDS HOURS A MONTH CLEANING UP AFTER YOURSELVES, OR ELSE YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE MOON PRISON WE BUILT FOR ALL OF YOU.] Get cleaning, homo sapiens!

As for you demons, [WE HAVE TO DISCUSS SOMETHING WITH YOU LOT, TOO.] First of all, we heard you are doing some [NUCLEAR LEVEL EXPERIMENTS OVER THERE.] Not only that but [WE SAW THE FALLOUT OF IT IN NOO MOOXICO.] And we heard recently in [A SECRET LITTLE POCKET OF SWEETIN, YOU DID IT AGAIN AND ARE MAKING YOUR LITTLE FIXER UPPERS CLEAN IT UP FOR YOU.] So, we have an announcement to make [NO MORE NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS ALLOWED!] You will be [SENT TO JOOPITOR IF YOU CONTINUE TO BREAK OUR NEW ESTABLISHED RULES!] So, do not ever do this again. [EARTH CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER DISASTER!]

As for you chimeras, [WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN, TAKE THE SPACESHIP TO YOUR NEW HOME ALREADY!] We think you ought to do this planet a favor and just [LEAVE IT BEHIND TO HEAL THE OVERPOPULATION PROBLEM!] Let's put this into perspective as your [NEW OVERLORDS.] There's hundreds of thousands of you and only around a hundred of us. [YOU SEE THE PROBLEM HERE? YOU ARE ALL STEALING FOOD AND RESOURCES FROM OTHERS.] Just go to [MARS] run your own [FARMS.] It will be fine.

And, to the chimera helping us find our SoulCritters correctly. [WE NEED YOU EARLIER THAN WE EXPECTED.] After you leave that [JOB] of yours, we will be heading to [IYZLAND] today and then [GREENLAND] tomorrow. We will be needing you on [THE DAY AFTER THAT ALSO.] Whatever you people call the middle of the week, we have heard [HUMP DAY BEFORE, WE THINK.] We would like at least [SIXTY EIGHT OF US TO HAVE OUR SOULCRITTERS BY HUMP DAY THIS WEEK.] So, prepare yourself [WE NEED YOU MORE THAN EVER!]

We [WILL NOT ACCEPT CANCELLATIONS.] We know [WHAT HAPPENED ON THE BORDER OF MOOXICO,] but it will [HEAL.] So, [WE WILL BE CALLING YOU FROM THE SHIP SHORTLY TO REMIND YOU ABOUT THAT.] You have less than [A HOURS] until we ring up your line [SO, DON'T HANG UP ON US.] See you then, gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: Sweet Spot Apartment Complex in Enig, Sweden at around five in the morning.]

[Good morning, this is the five o'clock news, and we have very, very, very bad news today! This just in, there's more aliens than we bargained for, so everyone, keep your SoulCritters safe! I hear that any human that tried to help the aliens get their SoulCritters and failed suffers dangerous consequences. But, that's not what this news story is about. We have a very disturbing report to give today! We hope you're prepared to run down into a bunker, because this is about to get nuclear, folks!]

{A bright pink otter with a cat tail behind it:} [Chirp, chirp!]

[Yawn, do you seriously need me for this? Hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here! What did Cherry Berry the otter say just now? They said, "Nuclear, gone nuclear! Kay, goodbye, don't contact me this early again!]

[That's right, cherry, things have gone totally nuclear in the secret confines in the southernmost portion of demon junction in Enig, Sweden! Can you believe it?! Everything's gone all whack! They built a nuclear energy plant out there, and who would have thought it'd have gone this way! It melted! Oooh, you can just feel it in the air! They claim there's no threat to us but all their buildings went boom when it all went wrong, so whatever you do, do not go to the southern cape of Enig, okay?! Stay safe out there! And now, a quick warning to our alien fiends!]

[Listen up aliens, you are not the boss of us, and you are not our new overlords, okay? Cry and scream all you want, but it's not happening! Keep asking us, and next time, we won't hesitate to shoot all of you! You hear? Have a nice day, because this is your only warning! Fellow humans, I welcome you to join us in alien hunting, if our new quote on quote friends get out of line here, okay? You will be awarded greatly for your efforts!]

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux demanded, shaking the bed.

[Wow, would you look at that? Once again you need me before working hours! Grr, you ought to know by now the rules around here! Fine, since you need a translation so badly, here's what Mr. Tux said. "Peasant, order me a dozen masks covered in jewels!" Wow, talk about super nuclear fallout, am I right? Those jewels are going to lose their luster real fast!]

Shook awake, the hyena let out a groan. Ugh, what does Mr. Tux want? Head spinning in circles, he placed his hands on the side of his head. He wants masks, as in face masks? Ugh, why does his head feel like it's stuck in the clouds? Can someone drag him back to earth? What did he say, masks covered in jewels, a dozen of them? Why, though? Oh. The news report, right. Ha ha, okay, he guesses? Please, fog, go away.

[Huh? You want masks? Sure, I'll buy you some.] An electronic voice said through his smart watch. Twelve of them? He heard those meows, right, right?

"Mrow! Mrow, mrow?" Mr. Tux asked.

[Yawn, do you really need me to translate this for you? Mr. Tux said, "You'd better, peasant! Wait, really?" Wooh, kitty's shocked here, can you believe it? Aren't we all! Didn't even fight back! Kay, peacers!]

Reaching for his laptop, the young adult's eyes burned as he focused on the screen. What did Mr. Tux want again? Masks with jewels, but, what kind of jewels, diamonds? Where is he going to find something like that? Why does he need masks for anyway? Didn't he have some stored in the closet somewhere? Oh, right, those were long gone, ha ha silly him. Sigh. Lalazon typed in, his fingers twitched. Masks seventy five percent off, all kinds, get them now. Woah, mega sale, yippee, his wallet is saved! Maybe.

Clicking the mask banner the chimera typed in the tag banner. Jewels slipped in, he rubbed his eyes. That said rubies, right? Sapphires, were there any diamond ones? No? Ha ha. Sorry, his royal highness, he's going to have to make due with? With? How about garnets? Those were royalty enough, right? He sure hoped so.

"Mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux shouted, pointing at the screen.

[Yawn, you again? Sigh, it's your friendly SoulCritter Translator here. What did Mr. Tux say just now? He said, "Get me that one!" Okay, buh bye.]

Mr. Tux pawing at a golden gem one, the chimera rubbed his eyes. Huh, masks with honey opals on them? Is that really royalty enough for him? Ugh, forget it, why try to make sense of it, his head's spinning way too much for this. Opening up the listing, he gazed at the price for a brief moment. Two hundred fifty krona for a dozen? Sign him up, he guessed. Add to cart, here goes.

Cart message in his face instant two hour delivery if he buys two more items, he yawned. Alright, fine, he'll buy? A month's supply of cat food too, and? Uh. What else is he out of right now? Um. Instant oatmeal, click. In the cart he goes. Wait, did that say pack of three, or pack of thirty? Everything looks so fuzzy today. Click, time to checkout. Everything done and dusted, he closed his laptop. Is he happy now? So long, goodnight.

[Current Location: Sweet Spot Apartment Complex in Enig, Sweden at around eight in the morning.]

Phone buzzing off the walls, the chimera groaned. Ugh, who needs him for something this time? Spaceship number blipping down on his phone screen, he reached for it. What do the aliens want now? Let him guess, they need him to find their SoulCritters earlier than expected? Please, can they wait until at least Wednesday to bother him again? Putting the device on speaker, noises bit his ear off.

{Gleep glorp, Spork, [WE NEED YOU AGAIN TODAY AFTER YOU ARE DONE WITH THAT JOB OF YOURS!] We will be heading to [IYCLAND] today and [GREENLAND] tomorrow. Everyone that isn't you [HAS FAILED TO FIND OUR SOULCRITTERS.] So, [HELP US FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, OR ELSE WE WILL EAT YOUR SOULCRITTER!] This is an order. See you tonight!} Click.

Demand coming his way, the chimera resisted the urge to press the block button. He has to go to Iceland after work today? Please can they just? Wait until the? Weekend, he'll go with the weekend. The weekend, yes. But, as he thought such a flurry of texts was ready to stab him next. Boss leaving him a voice message to be at work by noon today, they have a huge emergency cleanup to deal with in south Enig, the laughs continued. Cleaning up a nuclear disaster site, what fun! Not. He is so going to be punished by the demons today, isn't he? Might as well pack his bags because he's going on the shame stake again soon!

Second message soon sent that everyone needs to be there today, the chimera let out a cough. Ugh, everyone on boss's team has to come in today? Lovely, just lovely, call in the temp workers and their parents, while they're at it! Cough, cough, ngh, please, have some people decide to not show up, if possible. Please, Tulong and Meilong, don't come in this time! Tch, whatever, typing out, he'll be there, warnings soon flurried his way to consider leaving Mr. Tux home. Ha, leave this troublemaker here by himself? Not happening, next!

Knock, knock, knock.

Pounding on the other side of his door, the hyena dragged himself out of bed. Who could that be at this hour? Let him guess, the aliens are here to remind him about their job? He knows, he remembers, they're going to Iceland today! Can they back off and not take up space by his door? Thanks. But, who waited for him on the other side of the door was a surprise for the ages.

Standing beside his door with a friendly look on their face had been a tall, red orange haired horse chimera with dark blue streaks in their bangs for whatever reason. Hair in an extremely long ponytail that touched the floor, their checkered vest looked like it was moving ever so slightly. Sorry, who are they?

"Good morning, there's packages in front of your door, just thought I'd let you know!" the stranger cried.

[Sorry, who are you? Where's my brother?] An electronic voice asked through his smartwatch.

"Pira? He's at the yearly Housing Costs Summit, remember?" the stranger asked. "He won't be back for awhile. So, I'm here to manage the property in his stead. Don't worry, Finn and I will take good care of this place until he comes back."

"Good care of everything!" a rainbow fish cried.

Housing Costs Summit brought to his attention, the hyena placed his hands on the side of his head. Oh, that was this week? How could he forget? Who is this person again? He doesn't know, he can't seem to recall. Please, keep the place clean, alright? Or else, the king might tax the entire complex for the rest of forever! Dragging the box of delivered good inside, he closed the door behind him. Better put everything away, and fast, time is ticking here, and it's ticking down like it's mad.

Box of cat food ripped open, the cat tailed individual screamed as his hands boiled. Palms twitching, he stared at them briefly. Hold on a second, what is that pulsating black stuff? He could have sworn he washed his hands off all that rotten ethanol goop. Guess not. Forget it, just tune it out, it's fine, he doesn't have time for this. Any second now, and boss would demand he comes in even earlier.

Instant oatmeal boxes put aside, the fixer upper took out the jewel adorned masks. But, his head spun as he did such. Huh, why did he buy these again for? Come on, Siorc, think. Oh, right, because a certain royal highness asked for them. Wait, why did he get these for? Didn't he have a stash of cloth masks stored away? No, he? He can't remember. Everything's blank. Sigh, here, enjoy his germ catchers, he guessed.

"Mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux shouted.

[Hi, hi, you probably know what Mr. Tux said just now, he said, "Free from diseased rat germs, at last!" Uh, hey, kitty, I'm pretty sure the aliens said they don't carry diseases from outer space! Gleop a Gleorp a Leorp is safe, maybe! Who knows? They could be lying! But, you didn't hear that from me! Kay, peacers!]

Mask already on, the hyena plopped down the wet food into the bowl. Don't wear out the cloth too quickly, he's not buying a whole other set of these. Warming up a bowl of instant oats, he pushed the creature away after three bites. On second thought, his appetite's a corpse today. Better hurry and get ready for work.

Doing a quick spritzing, the young adult's eyes nearly fell out of his head as he gazed at his reflection. Why does he look so toasty today? Head spinning as he looked at his reflection, he wolfed down two tablets of aspirin. Who cares what he looks like in the looking glass, he's got work today. He'll be working until he drops dead baby, yippee! No, scratch that, when he's a ghost, too! Ha ha ha, suck it to him in the afterlife.

Fluffy white frilled shirt with nothing but a black dog on it in the corner slipped on, a pitch black pair of pants had been placed beneath it. Huh, wait, pants? He thought he? Didn't he get rid of these? Forget it, there's no time to look for a skirt right now. Leather gloves slipped on, he dragged himself off onto the couch. Better check the news real quick before he walks out of here, just to be safe.