It's the last day of school before the summer months start. It's a bitter day. A melancholy day. And yet the sun shines brightly and the grass is green as if nothing is wrong. And I have to pretend that nothing is wrong. 

"Finally! Summer has arrived!" Arden exclaims in the shower. And I smile brightly, and hope it reaches my eyes. 

"Yes!" I reply, "this is so great! Isn't it?" 

"Oh absolutely! No more school for two months!"

"For two whole months. That's a nice long time."

"And I get to do whatever I want."

"That will be great! You deserve that freedom. You deserve a good break." 

"I do. After that hell of a year." 

"You have been through a lot this year. But you did it. You made it through." 

"Be quiet now." 

"Sure thing." 

The shampoo brushes continue lathering him up and I have to turn away for a little bit to blink the tears out of my eyes. 

After I send him off to school, all happiness and smiles, I rush to school myself. I rush to Ari. 

We spend the whole day on the roof, kissing and talking. The last day is not a day of learning. It's just a day of fun. We don't need to be looking through the walls. We can bid each other goodbye. After all we won't be seeing each other for a whole two months. And I will miss him bitterly. And he will miss me. 

His eyes are the same blue of the bright horizon. The wind blows through his dark curls. The sun makes his skin shine. He's unbelievably beautiful, sitting with his knees up and his back against the walls of the school roof. He's so beautiful I feel like my heart is breaking. 

Because there isn't enough time. There's never enough time. 

"Luca. I hate how I have to hide everything. I hate how I have to pretend to be alright. Even today." 

"Well you know what you really are. And you don't have to pretend in front of me." 

"You're so sweet."

"Thanks. So are you. But I hate having to pretend to be happy too. And I'll have to pretend all summer." 

"It's going to be such a long summer without you. I'm so sorry. For both of us." 

"I'm sorry too. And I'm angry. Why do we have to sneak around just to be together?" 

"It's not fair. And we have to do something about it."

"Like what?" 

"Have you ever thought about joining the resistance?" 

I say nothing. I just look at him with wide, curious, wary, excited eyes. 

"I've thought about it," I finally say, "but I think we're too young to take on that danger." 

"You're probably right. But what about when we're older? Like in high school? Do you want to run away then?" 

"It will be dangerous." 

"Of course it will be dangerous. Do you want to go or not?" 

I think about it for a while. In that time I move closer to Ari, so that I'm leaning against his side. He wraps an arm around me. And I lean my head against his shoulder.

"I want to go," I finally reply. "I want to at least try to get revenge against the owners for all they've done to us." 

"I think so too. I want to get revenge. I hate being sweet and passive and submissive all the time."

"But what about my mother? She'll be all alone."

"Bring her along." 

"Good plan."

"Thanks." 

I lean towards him even more. And he does the same. 

"Can I kiss you?" I ask. 

"Yes." 

We share a sweet, saccharine, intoxicating kiss. And another one. And another one. These will be our last kisses for a while. We have to make the most of them. 

"I'll miss you so fucking much," Ari tells me. 

"I'll miss you too. And I'll miss school."

"I'll miss school too. I love learning. It feels like the ultimate rebellion." 

"It does. And it's nice to be able to use my mind. They think I'm just dumb and thoughtless. I hate it."

"I hate them. I wish I could tell them that all they think about you is wrong."

"Oh I wish I could do that too." 

"I'll miss the time away from my owner." 

"Of fuck. I will too. I have to be beside him for two months straight." 

"I swear I'll eventually snap." 

"Please don't. I need to see you again next school year." 

"Okay then. I'll keep myself in check. For you. Because I need to see you again too." 

"I feel so free with you." 

"I feel so free with you too."

After kisses and words and tears it's finally time for us to say good bye. My heart feels like it's breaking into a million pieces. But I go on. Because I have to. 

I meet Arden outside the school. He hands me the bags and bags of his stuff that he has to take home today. 

"How was your day, Arden?" 

"Oh it was amazing. We played games all day." 

"That's amazing. I'm glad. What games did you play?" 

"We went out into one of the fields and we played quidditch."

"That sounds great. Did you enjoy it?" 

"Oh absolutely." 

"That's awesome. What position were you?" 

"I was a chaser. It's not the best position but it's fun." 

"At least your has fun. What position did you want to be?" 

"A seeker." 

"Ooh you'd be really good at that." 

"I would, wouldn't I?" 

We keep talking until we get home. Arden rests in one of the many plush sofas and I sit on the ground and massage his feet. He puts on a mini immie and lazily watches it, picking idly from the set storylines as he goes so that the story plays out exactly as he wants it to. 

I hide my exhaustion. 

———

The next day is the day of the party. Arden's parents throw a little party every year to celebrate him finishing another school year. It's a quiet affair, with only Arden's grandparents and aunt. But Arden loves this day. He says that it's better than his birthday. But I always find it hard to get through. Because pretending ecstasy on the first day of summer is always hard. 

At least I don't have to talk much.

"You did a great job this year," Arden's aunt tells him.

"Aww thank you auntie," he says. I say nothing but I smile from my place on the floor where I'm sitting, sweetly looking up at the owners sitting on plush floating chairs as glitter and fake snow flies down from the ceiling. 

"I remember grade eight," Arden's mom starts, "it was the worst grade for me. But I learned a lot." 

"Oh why was it the worst, Mama?" Arden asks. 

"It's just a really awkward, difficult time, being thirteen," she replies, "I wouldn't wish it on anyone." 

"Oh you're right, Mama." 

"You are right, Amelia," Arden's aunt says, "the teen years are a special type of torture." 

"It's torture all my children can get through though," Arden's grandfather adds, "and it's torture little Arden can get through as well." He ruffles Arden's hair. 

"Oh thank you grandpa! You're too kind." 

"Aww I'm just telling the truth my little one."

"Well I really appreciate it anyways." 

"He is right though," Arden's dad speaks. "We all got through it. Because we're all strong. Resilience runs in our family." 

I nod my head, even though I know that I'm not part of this family. The music flows on through us. The snack trays filled with lavish snacks arranged artfully float amongst us. The owners pick finger foods to eat. I don't. 

"Resilience runs in our family," Arden's grandmother echoes, "but also we have each other's backs. We take care of each other. That's why we are so strong." 

"You're absolutely right," Arden's aunt declares, "our family bonds are better than any other family. They're unbreakable." 

"I feel so lucky to be part of this family," Arden's mother speaks. "You are all such sweet and good people."

"You're sweet and good too," Arden's father tells her.

"Aww thanks." 

"We're very successful," Arden's grandfather starts, "because of our loyalty to each other. Loyalty I've gotten to teach all of you." 

"You're right dad," Arden's aunt says, "thanks for teaching us." 

"And thank you for welcoming me into the family," Arden's dad says. 

"Luca. Get Arden's report card," Arden's mother shoos me away with her hands. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

I walk down the long halls. On my way down I see Sam. My father. We exchange sad smiles with each other. Even if we're smiling, we can see the brokenness in each other's eyes. At least one good thing about the summer is that I can spend more time with my parents. Before we all go our separate ways. 

"You're stronger than you know," Sam whispers to me. "You'll get through this summer." 

"Thank you dad. And good luck to you as well. You're stronger than you know too." 

"We both are. We all are." 

I run down the hall to make up for lost time and I pick up Arden's report card from where it is on Mr. Harrison's large desk. I run back. 

"Here you go, ma'am." I hand Mrs. Harrison the sheet of clear glass. She turns it on and it displays the grades on a creamy background. 

"Four B's, a C, and two A's," Arden's aunt exclaims. "That's amazing." 

"Thank you, Auntie." 

"My boy's very smart," Mr. Harrison states smugly, "he gets that from all of us. A chip off the old block, he is." 

Arden smiles brightly and I smile meekly. 

"He did inherit his brains from us," Mrs. Harrison echoes, "what's more, he inherited our fastidious work ethic." 

"And we taught him too," Arden's aunt adds in. "We all taught him how to succeed in school and in life."

"You better be grateful that you're in this family, Arden," his grandfather tells him. 

"Oh I definitely am, Grandpa."

"We're all very smart," his grandmother says. 

I think about Ari. Ari always tells me that I'm very smart. He says that it's amazing that I can keep up with the classes despite getting no study time. I tell him it's amazing that he can as well. Although he struggles more so than me. Ari tells me that I have an amazing way with words. That I could be an amazing writer if I was allowed to write. 

I usually don't feel smart. I usually don't feel like much of anything. But Ari makes me feel smart. He makes me feel like I can do anything. 

Maybe that's dangerous. But maybe it's giving me life. Everything about Ari is dangerous. Everything about Ari gives me life. 

My parents tell me I'm smart as well. They say that they're incredibly proud that I've found a way to go to school. They say that I'm an expert wordsmith and an even better liar. They say that I will do amazing things, that all the synths will do amazing things. Even if they're secret things. 

My parents are not dangerous. But my parents give me life anyways. It's a secret sort of life. And even though they didn't literally bring me into the world, like Arden's parents did to him, they made the world just a little bit more livable for me. 

My friends give me life in all the little moments that they can. They give me brightness. Give me soothing. Give me confidence. And all our stolen moments mean infinity to me. I turn them over and over in my head before I go to sleep. 

I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my friends. For my lover. For each and every synth I have ever come across. 

The owners keep on talking. Oblivious to me. I keep my face schooled into sweetness. And I follow their conversation in case they ever want to include me in it. But in the secret, silent part of my mind I rebel. 

I could never have rebelled without my loved ones supporting me. I'd be too scared and weak. But they do support me and so I'm strong.