Hi.

My name is Ben Gossage. I am 15 years old, and I believe in aliens.

I live in the year 1991 and love filmmaking. Unfortunately, my mother does not approve of my love for filming and sheer hate for school. But my father, on the other hand, to put it lightly, doesn't give a crap what I do. He believes that when I'm older, I'll be at the Pinewood Forest Penitentiary. I figured he meant as an inmate, and not as a correctional officer.

Speaking of Pinewood Forest, I'm planning on running away at the end of the summer. Pinewood Forest is the crappy town I live in. A small town in New Jersey no-one has ever heard of, Pinewood Forest is home to Jews, posers, and is slowly being taken over by asians. Kids write bomb threats in the high school bathrooms, and the cops are lazy. Parents are doctors, lawyers, executives, and other rich people jobs. Everyone has kids.

Everyone exercises daily.

We drink a lot of water.

Reeks of urine.