The moment it hit, I was finally enlightened with the knowledge of what I had done. I stared at the pieces of metal and glass floating down a small stream from yesterday night's rain.

Regret. I hated it. I punched the steering wheel over and over again, mercilessly hitting the horn several times to emphasize my rage. Passersby squinted at me as if I was crazy, and I couldn't help but agree with them. I was so stupid. Everything was so stupid. I hated this. I hated life. I hated this life.

Finally, I gave up and got back out of the car. I walked past the tree that was slightly shading my car and past the fire hydrant and the streetlights, past all the shops, and finally came to a stop in a dark alley. I had to get Chloe on the phone and find out what was happening, even if I wasn't going to help her.

I didn't know I was too late until I heard his voice. Sad. Sad. Sad.

"I tried. I really, really, really did. You-you didn't pick up..." his voice turned frosty but all the frost melted away in less than a second. "I-I...I loved her so much. I..."

Ky broke down into tears, and that very moment in time and life, I knew that nothing was going to be anything ever again. I didn't say a word and just slid down the wall, the cord being stretched and stretched and stretched. Stretched like me when I'm trying too hard and trying too little and I just couldn't do anything to stop it all from happening.

"Love Chloe. She's so...oh, you would understand, wouldn't you? You're her boyfriend, and even though you may be the cause of her death..."

He sucked in a breath and I heard it cut through the line like a knife. No. No. NO! No, no, no, no, no...I knew it, but I couldn't, I just couldn't accept it.

"NO!" I screamed into the phone before he could continue. I noticed people staring and people trying not to stare and people looking away. I felt hot tears streaming down my cold cheeks, and I knew the tears were Chloe, trying to warm me up in her sad, sad, dreadful way.

"I think you're wonderful, and you're an awesome guy, and you tried to help us even though...even though we were criminals. She loved you, she thought you were wonderful, too...I don't know why...she just did it. She drowned herself! She drowned herself! She suicided!"

He started wheezing as if he had been just finished the 200 metre sprint.

His words were garbled in my mind, and all I heard was "suicide." And that was enough.

"You should come...there's a lot of people here..." he paused and muttered, "at the outskirts of town still, by the ocean."

He hung up before I could, but that was probably because I had dropped the phone, and it hit the pavement and bounced back up as if it were bungee jumping. However, it was never going to get back into the phone holder until someone helped it. I could bounce back up a bit so that I wasn't as stressed, but I could never go back to normal, until someone helped me. And I wasn't going to let anyone help me. I needed to remember the feeling of deep, deep regret. The feeling that ripped your heart into pieces.