Mira couldn’t stop nervously playing with her hands as Deimos calmly listened to her. They sat on a nearby park bench with the warm sun spilling over them. Deimos was quiet as she spoke, his eyes trained on his shoes or his fingernails.

“Gabriel and I met in grade ten, and after I was horrifically dumped by Raven in grade eleven, he was my rebound,” she murmured. “We had an on-and-off relationship throughout my grade eleven and twelve year. Sort of open-ended, we kind of just came to each other when we were lonely.” She felt her face burn up. “He’s been my only male partner.”

Deimos looked at her with an expression she’s never seen before. Shock, confusion. His eyebrows furrowed but the rest of his face was calm and still. He was thinking hard and Mira wondered what ticked on in his head.

“The longest we’ve dated is a month,” she laughed. “It’s kind of pathetic.”

“You guys look at each other as if you’ve been dating for years,” Deimos muttered quietly.

Mira blushed. She couldn’t tell him that their relationship was very similar to that. “We’ve known each other for four years overall, so you’re not completely wrong,” she laughed nervously. “My…love life is a little messy.”

“Tell me,” Deimos said calmly. He gave her a look that made her feel butterflies. “I want to…understand you, Mira.”

Mira let out the breath she was holding in when Deimos looked back at his shoes and patiently waited for Mira to speak.

“U-Um,” she stuttered. “I-I don’t know where to start… Even though I’ve liked Raven for several years, I still reached out to people who liked me immediately. I was a desperate kid, lonely, and yearned for the nearest warm body. Even though I liked Raven romantically and sexually, I still went out and found partners that tried to satisfy my devoid romantic and sex life. Gabriel was one of them, the rest were girls. Girls similar to my situation, girls that just wanted to fuck, girls who genuinely liked me but I couldn’t reciprocate their feelings. They came and went, but Gabriel was a constant thing, drifting to me and then back until he moved away in the middle of August after we graduated.”

Mira paused, laughing cynically at herself. “Now that I think about it, after Gabriel left, the amount of partners I had doubled.” It was like she was trying to fill two voids in her heart over the summer. One of Raven and one of Gabriel.

“Do you like Gabriel?” Deimos asked suddenly.

“Like, romantically or sexually?”

“Both.”

Mira blushed hard. She remembered nights with him. She remembered his kisses. She remembered laughing under sheets, she remembered his moans, she remembered movie dates with him. “I did like him sexually,” she admitted. “I-I don’t know romantically. We acted like friends, hugged a lot, kissed a lot, but I never told him I loved him…” She wondered what would happen if she said that to him. Would have Gabriel stayed? Would she be dating him still? Would she be happier?

Mira glanced at Deimos. He kept staring at her and it frightened Mira how much her heart sped up. She tried to play it off as a joke, chuckling and rubbing her neck nervously. “I’m confusing, sorry.”

Deimos sighed and leaned back. “I didn’t think you’d be such a player.”

Mira’s heart twisted in knots and she laughed loudly in a fit of nervousness. She hasn’t spoken about her previous relationships with a stranger before. Usually she kept it to herself or the individuals already knew about it through rumors. She’s never had to explain herself before and she didn’t know if she liked it or not.

Calmly, Deimos wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. “Thanks for telling me.”

Mira touched his hand and looked at him. “Y-Yeah.”

Slowly, Deimos inhaled and exhaled, resting his forehead against her shoulder. “I’ve dated a few girls here and there. My…third girlfriend got me into wearing lingerie,” his voice was tight and nervous. The hand that rubbed Mira’s shoulder clutched tight onto her arm and Mira’s heart sped up. “She was…emotionally abusive.”

Mira’s heart stopped and every thought talking about how good he smelled and how intimate they were and how worried she was on how their relationship was inching closer and closer to her previous relationship with Gabriel was silenced. She just listened to his voice.

“She was a childhood friend. She was slightly aware about how much I liked feminine things and took advantage of that. When I went over to her house, she’d beg me to wear her clothes to the point where I found myself in her underwear. She’d egg me on to wear her lingerie in public and manipulate me into feeling bad when I didn’t. I…liked lingerie before dating her, but first started wearing it after dating her.”

Mira stared at him in shock. “So…are you happy wearing lingerie or…?”

Deimos gave her a weak smile. “I am. I do love lingerie. I like how it feels and it makes me feel good. But…she did give me this fear of sharing how much I liked feminine things. It’s mostly gone away now, but it does sometimes haunt me at night.” Mira knew Deimos was holding stuff back. He was even more locked up and hesitant than she was.

Quickly, Mira grabbed Deimos’ hands and clutched them tightly, staring at him wide. “There’s nothing wrong with liking lingerie and jewelry and feminine things. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Deimos, you’re beautiful and handsome and kind and funny the way you are. And I’ll tell you every single day from now on if you ever feel sad about that.”

A smile quirked up and he knocked his forehead against hers. “You know, you’re most of the reason why I’m so much more…relaxed and happy now. I was having a shitty time before you barfed in my car.”

Mira laughed. “If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I’ll listen to all your worries, even if they’re stupid and petty ones that don’t need answers. I’m just…here for you. I love you so much.” She hugged him tightly. “God, your stupid ex-girlfriend doesn’t deserve you.”

Deimos laughed and hugged her back. “Well, without her help I wouldn’t have left Greece nor would you have walked in on me wearing lingerie.”

Mira smiled into his shoulder. He was being positive for once. She hugged him tightly. “God, Deimos, I love you.” She couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She was angry at his ex-girlfriend and she was angry at people who made him so closeted. She was angry that Deimos was abused emotionally and she was angry that he was so fucked that he needed to leave his home country to seek solace. She was so happy he met him and she was so, so in love with him she couldn’t hold back. This love wasn’t sexual. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t platonic. It was just love without a label. She just loved him. He made her happy and he was there for her when she was lonely. She loved him so much she wanted to cry.

Deimos sighed softly into her ear and hugged her even tighter. She felt small in his arms, safe, warm and protected. His hands were large and they clutched onto her dress tightly. “I love you too,” he muttered, his voice tight. In this moment, Mira knew he loved her the same way she loved him.

For a while, they just nuzzled their faces into each other’s shoulders and hugged tightly. Then, Mira sighed and let go, looking at Deimos seriously.

“Let’s go buy girly shit,” she said calmly.

Deimos blinked and blushed. “W-What?” He stuttered, eyes widening.

“If you’re up for it, let’s go to the mall and buy friendship bracelets and shit,” she stated. “If you’re ever feeling down, I want to be able to always be with you in the form of a cheap metal friendship bracelet made in China.”

Mira could see the cogs moving in Deimos’ head. He knew she was doing this as a way to make him feel more comfortable about showing off what he liked. Mira’s done it before. She used to try to fit in and wear dresses and smile pretty and like boys. It took her a bit to come out of the closet and wear male clothes and cut her hair. She started small and made her way up. Deimos can do it too. He doesn’t have to outright flaunt that he likes feminine things, but at least feel comfortable expressing what he feels.

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” he laughed. It was a genuine laugh that stretched across his whole face. “Sure, let’s do it.”