I rolled back and forth in my bed. Someone was repeating my name but it only sounded like a muffle, the more they called, the clearer it got. I started to notice it was more than one person and I recognised each one of them. It was my mum, my dad and my two brothers, just calling ‘Amelia, Amelia, Amelia.’ I woke up feeling cold; my duvet was down the bottom of my bed just barely covering my feet. I glanced at the clock and jumped out of my bed quickly.

I can tell already that today isn’t going to be a good day. I’ve not dreamt about my family in a long time. Well it was more like a nightmare.

◎

It was the first day back at college for my final year. As I crammed things into my backpack I glanced at the clock; almost eight. My paintbrushes and sketchpad were already packed to go. There was only one thing missing: my oil paints. I hunted around my compact room. I glanced down at my hand. Ah, there they are. Shaking my head, I thrust them into my bag.

Ever since my blind date – if you could call it that – when I met Evan Wood for the first time I realised that, boy, was I wrong about him. He wasn’t the type of gentlemen I always thought he was – he was an egotistical idiot. But even then that I knew his true personality, I still wanted to see him again. The thought of being near him made me smile. Maybe his annoying personality was an act in front of his friend? Sometimes they show off.

I grabbed my bag and strolled out of the front door of my apartment. I lived in a studio flat not too far from campus. The only visitors I had, apart from Ben, were my two brothers who popped in from time to time, well one of them did. But usually I live alone; I prefer to keep my space private.

The bus arrived after five minutes. I hopped on and paid for my ride. A few elderly folks sat at the front, so I dipped my head down and shuffled to my usual seat in the back.

I couldn’t help but glance out the front window as the bus headed along its usual route. The bus stopped five times before arriving at its terminal. A part of me wished he wasn’t at his stop, but the moment I laid my eyes on him my hands would start to sweat. He was leaning against the lamp post in a white T-shirt and blue overalls hanging on his hips.

He made his way onto the bus and sat down near the front, his usual seat. I watched as he threw himself back into the chair and let out a long sigh. He looked incredibly hot and also irritated.

As if he knew I was watching him he glanced back at me and gave a little wave. My breath caught in my throat, my eyes widening. I pulled my phone out from my pocket, pretending to type a message. I waited until I was certain he was no longer gazing at me before I glimpsed back at him. He was like a magnet, forever pulling me towards him, even though his personality sucked.

The bus stopped, and it was time for me to get off. I walked past him, nodding thanks to the driver as I stepped off. I could hear shuffling behind me as other customers exited the bus. I didn’t look back as I made my way towards the Whitehall College. The eerie feeling of being watched made me glance behind me, and I stumbled, almost tripping over my own two feet. A hand reached out to catch me and it was him. Evan held me close to him while his eyes peered into mine. My eyes instantly lowered to his mouth. The minty scent of his gum swept past my nose, it made me want some of it. My palms started to sweat as his hand touched my lower back and the heat rushed to my face.

“Be careful there, little one,” he said, smirking.

“If you weren’t walking so close to me, I wouldn’t have tripped,” I snapped. I pulled away, correcting myself, and I slung my bag back over my shoulder. It hit him slightly on the chest as I stomped off hearing his laughter erupt. I strolled into the building and up the stairs making it to my art class, unpacking all my bits from my bag onto the table. Natalie my tutor was sitting at her desk as I sat down in my seat. I glanced over to her and she sent me a warm smile, which I returned.

She got up from her chair and advanced towards me. “Have you decided what your final piece will be?”

“No, I haven’t Natalie,” I replied. I started pulling out one of my sketch pads from my backpack.

“If you need any help or advice, you know where to find me.” She said. Natalie is one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, she’s always helped me and she has guided me towards my goals.

“Thank you Natalie, I’m fine for now. I trust my instincts to find me something very soon.” I smiled.

After re-arranging my pencils in a certain order, I brainstormed ideas for my final project. It’s really important that I get this done; otherwise I will never get into an art school. It’s my dream to be accepted.

Natalie patted my back softly as she headed over to her next pupil. A few other students are scattered around the classroom. There were the sounds of pencils scribbling on paper and water splashing from the paints, a few murmurs. I find it easier to concentrate when there are fewer people around.

Ben and my tutor both have the same critiques about my work. They said my work was predictable, but I don’t have the confidence. I’m afraid what the world will think of me – the real me. The frightened little girl or the girl who can’t find love, maybe I need to look at it from a different point of view. When I sit here looking at my white canvas, I always think back to when I used to get angry. I used to have anger issues when I was younger, my mother sent me to a counselor to help and it did. I would splash my canvases with paint in anger to release it, even if I was covered from head to toe in colour.

After spending some time staring at a blank canvas I realised the time. I slipped off my chair and headed for lunch. I picked my bag up from the empty seat beside me and slowly shuffled my way out of the classroom, trying not to disturb fellow classmates who I have never once spoken to. I had promised Ben that I would make an effort this year to make friends.

“How are you supposed to be inspired when you don’t go out and mingle?” Ben had once said to me during one of her many pep talks. Talking didn’t come easy to me. It never had. But I couldn’t tell her that. Telling her would mean digging into the past I so badly wanted to forget.

Heading out of the building, I took off in the direction of the canteen. As I walked past the engineering course I spotted Evan pushing a motorcycle alongside him. Of course he seems the type to be interested in bikes. I hate bikes, especially fast ones. A second guy was assisting him as he pulled the vehicle to a stop. His blue mechanics’ overalls were covered in dirt. I watched as he ran his hand through his dark brown hair. I could just imagine that in slow motion, he looked like something from a movie.

I noticed a frown on his face, brushing his hand over his head as he let out a frustrated sigh. He wiped his brow with the sleeve. I slowed my pace; watching as Evan straddled the red and black bike, a star on the rear of it. The engine roared as he revved the bike a few times. His mate said something to him, and he nodded. I tilted my head slightly to the side while I witnessed his every move, nodding my head along with his. His friend locked eyes with me, tapping Evan’s shoulder, nodding in my direction. I gasped as Evan’s gaze finally fell upon me, my eyes widened and my breath got stuck. Unsure of what to do I breathed in, hung my head and scurried away.

◎

I sat down at a table, alone, pulling out my sandwiches from my bag that I had packed this morning. I munched on my food as I thought about Evan. And there he was, strolling in with his friend. They made their way over to a group who were sitting at a table across the room from me.

Evan sat down next to a red-haired girl who batted her long eyelashes at him and flashed him a smile. I must admit, she was pretty. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him, kissing her softly on the cheek. She smiled shyly at him.

I let out an aggressive sigh as I took a huge bite from my sandwich, maybe several. He had a girlfriend. Of course, someone as arrogant as him always had a girlfriend. I threw my food back on the table in front of me and I shook my head, trying to ignore the ruckus he and his ‘crew’ were making. They were laughing at me. I was certain of it. He was probably telling them all about our almost-kiss. It had all been a big joke to him. I felt my eyes sting, and I blinked back tears. It was all game. This was all a game.

Unable to finish the rest of my food, I packed my things away and got up. As I turned to walk away, my leg caught hold of someone else’s bag on the floor and I fell forward, landing flat on my face.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Laughter erupted around the canteen. I rose onto my knees and looked around at the amused spectators. And then my eyes landed on Evan. I saw him standing up from his chair only to be pulled back down by his red-haired girlfriend. She nudged him and they both started laughing. Humiliated, I jumped to my feet and ran out of the room. If they weren’t laughing at me before, they will be now.

Today was not my day.

◎

I don’t know how long I had been standing in the girl’s toilet gaping at my face in the mirror. The mascara stain had left a dark bag under my eyes. I wet my hands under the cold tap and then patted them dry with a paper towel. I shuffled towards the bin, dropping the paper towel into it and moved back to the mirror. I ran my fingers through my curly, blonde hair, sweeping my fringe across my face. My deep blue eyes were filled with tears, wiping away any that escaped. I dug into my bag and pulled out my make-up kit. As I started to reapply my make-up, the door slammed open, startling me.

“What happened, Mills?” Ben yelled as she rushed over to me, pulling me into a hug.

Word got around quickly.

“I fell over in the canteen and everyone laughed. It was no big deal,” I replied, shrugging.

“Oh babe, I know that part,” she said to me, holding me tightly.

“Were you in the canteen?” I asked as I pulled away.

“No, but Evan told me what happened.”

I stared at her, confused. “Oh, that was very kind of him. Did he tell you what fun he and his friends had to laugh at my expense? I could have been hurt.”

“But you’re not, right?”

I frowned at her. “That’s beside the point.”

“Mills, he did seem worried.”

I choked back a small laugh.

“Maybe I should have been there,” Ben said.

“Yeah, you could have helped me get back up.”

“I would have helped you up. Well, after laughing maybe.”

“Ben…”

“What? I still would have helped you up.”

“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and we both started giggling about it, which lightened the mood. “You know; Evan’s arrogance reminds me of someone.”

“Oh?”

“An ex of mine, it didn’t last very long though. But he was my first, even though he was with me for the sake of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“How can I be with someone who doesn’t know what he wants? I’ve been working my butt off on my art work, trying hard to impress people. I wanted people to see me for who I was, but him, he just didn’t care.” I glanced up at Ben through the mirror as she stood behind me.

“It was his loss.” Ben said.

“Evan’s just the same.”

“Why don’t you give him a chance, he may change your mind.” Ben suggested. I stared at her as if she said something horrible.

“Somehow I don’t think that will happen. He’s an arrogant pig who doesn’t deserve my time.”

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Ben,”

“What, it’s true. Now come on,”

We both left the bathroom after I finally found the courage to go back outside and we parted ways. I went back up to the art room and inspected the scraps of my final piece. I picked them up, scrunched them into a big ball, walked over to the bin and threw it inside.

◎

The end of the day came and I packed away all my things. I still had nothing for my final piece. At this rate all I’d have to display in my exhibition were blank canvases. Sighing, I left the room and headed for the bus stop. On my way I saw Evan walking in the opposite direction to the bus shelter with a helmet in his hand. My hands balled into fists, and instead of heading for the bus stop I detoured and followed him. I had no idea what I planned on saying to him, but I didn’t care. I was fuming and I needed to let go of all the rage that was welling up inside me. I followed him for a few minutes and my anger slowly turned to curiosity. Where was he going?

I stopped when I realised that I would look like a stalker if he saw me. I was about to head back when I noticed he had arrived at his destination: Speedy Meade’s. Crossing the road, I pursued him as he went inside. Slowly, I followed him. It didn’t take me long to lose sight of him. I followed the noise up to the stalls where a small crowd was watching motorcycles race around a dirt track.

I found myself a seat away from other people, searching the stalls for Evan. My eyes fell upon the track and I couldn’t seem to pull them away. It was exhilarating. After a while, another biker joined the race. I recognised the red and black motorcycle. It was Evan. He steered around the track as I began to move forward on my chair, my hands gripped the sides as I watched nervously.

I carried on viewing the race and before I knew it I had my sketchbook and pencil in my hands. How could I not capture this moment? It looked so beautiful. He moved with such speed, he was fearless, and I loved every minute of it. Even though I wasn’t in the race, but watching I could feel the adrenaline running through me. My hand was scattering over my sketchpad as I drew this amazing moment.

When I finished sketching, I packed away my stuff and rushed out of the stalls and out of the building before he could catch sight of me. I finally got the inspiration I needed for my final piece. As much as I hated to credit the boy who laughed at me in the canteen, I was glad something good had come out of my earlier mishap. Had I not been so angry with him, I may not have stalked him and discovered his hidden talent. Evan Wood was full of mysteries.