I was up early this morning, which makes a change. Already ready and packed for College – still having some time to spare, I couldn’t help but dance around my apartment which is unusual for me. I wasn’t really into breakfasts in the mornings, but today I was – deciding to leave early. I wanted to eat out for a change. I was hoping to see him at his stop, but no doubt it’s early. He might not be there.

When the bus arrived I hopped on-board making my way to my usual seat at the back. I was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat. The movement in my stomach got stronger as we approached his stop. I felt the blood drain from my face when I saw him standing there, holding hands with her – the red-haired girl. Maybe I was thinking too much into their relationship. They could be friends; they can hold hands too? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, who holds hands with their friends of the opposite sex. He said she weren’t his girlfriend but why does he treat her like one? He’s lying to me, I know he is and I’m stupid to believe in his words.

They both got on the bus, realising I was sitting at the back – Evan let go of her hand. He sat down with her. Clearly he hadn’t expected to see me out this early. He never looked my way, not once. Evan Wood was ignoring me. I tried my hardest to ignore them as I waited for my stop to come, which was hard. One stop before the College I decided to get off for some breakfast. I dropped my head and hurried towards the door. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. It was too humiliating. Clearly our intimate moment had meant nothing to him. I nearly fell for his stupid sweet innocent act. Why do I always fall for it? I kept saying he was playing games and I fell right into his trap. He’s probably laughing at me on the inside.

I made my way to the Bennie’s Café where I spotted Ben sitting with her boyfriend. Seeing me enter through the door she waved me over to her. I headed towards their table and she got up from her seat, pulling me into a hug.

“Hey, girl, how comes you’re here this early?” Her eyes were wide.

“I woke up in a good mood, so I thought why not make a change, you always said to,” I said as I forced a smile, the mood was completely gone. I greeted Rich as she pulled me down into the chair next to her. I flicked through the breakfast menu, and then ordered a cup of tea and a sausage bap which the waitress bought out just as quick as I ordered it.

“So, I’ve heard you’ve been hanging out with Evan lately,” Ben said to me, wriggling her eyebrows.

I quickly swallowed the first bite of my food, almost choking. “Oh, err, yeah,” I replied. “We don’t really hang out much. We’ve talked a few times, that’s all,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. He seemed happy with his not-so-much girlfriend’s company. As much as I hated to admit it he was a player. I knew I shouldn’t have fallen for his charms, but I did. I always seem to trust people too easily and I still hate myself for that. It’s got to stop.

“He told Rich you two were close friends now,” Ben carried on. I looked at her, replaying the sentence in my mind.

“Yeah, well he lied. But I’m sure it’s not a first for him,” I said, munching my food quicker and quicker. Ben didn’t ask about anything else; which I appreciated.

When I finished I said goodbye to Ben and Rich – making my way back to the College. Evan still played on my mind, I was wondering if he’d come and talk to me today. Even thinking about him being with her made me jealous. He said she wasn’t his girlfriend, but was she?

I dragged my feet into the College building and stomped my way upstairs. I barged into the room and came to an abrupt stop. There was a guy in there looking at some paintings on the walls. I walked into the room slowly over to my usual seat, dumping my bag down on the chair. His eyes snapped over to me, hazel ones that stared into mine.

He was good looking.

I watched him as he moved to the other side of the room, his eyes never leaving mine – until he came to another set of paintings. He studied one of them, mine. “What do you feel while looking at that?” I found myself asking. He glanced over to me and I nodded to my painting.

“It makes me feel really lonely, but most of the time I like to be alone. I like it,” he finally said. I came and stood next to him as we both stared at my painting.

“What about it makes you feel lonely?”

“I feel like I’m looking at this patch of darkness, but then I see this small bundle of light in the middle. It’s hopeful.” He finally made eye contact with me, turning slightly as his body faced me.

“James,” he said as he put his hand out to me, I smiled and shook it.

“Amelia.”

“Is that your work?” he asked. I nodded, smiling.

“It’s really good.” He smiled. He had a perfect smile, but he wasn’t as gorgeous as Evan. I missed Evan’s smile already. He placed his hand on top of mine. “My hall was hired for your work, so I wanted to have a look. I’ve been hearing what an amazing artist you are. Now I see it.”

The sound of a cough at the door distracted us. I finally removed my eyes from James and moved to the door, to see her standing there.

It was the red-haired girl, the one who was always lingering on Evan’s arm. James straightened his jacket and picked up his briefcase, and then he left, nodding to me and made his way out. I didn't want him to leave me here with her alone. “Boyfriend?” she asked.

“Nope,” I replied.

She shuffled around the room, opening drawers and cupboards. I kept my eyes on her. Finally, she looked at me. “Stay away from Evan,” she said. “I don’t want him running off with another girl now.” She started to run her fingertips over the work that was carefully placed on the counter for the paint to settle. She watched me as if she was waiting for me to react or hoping she might come across one of my paintings. I looked away from her and started to unpack my bag. I wasn’t in the mood to play games, especially with her. Seconds later she appeared behind me, looking over my shoulder at my painting of Evan that was nearly finished.

“That’s really good,” she said. I dipped my paintbrush into the dirty water on the table in front of me. I started to dab my painting with red paint, but the red-haired leaned over grabbing the cup of dirty water and poured it over my work. I gasped and jumped up from my seat, staring in shock at the empty cup I had just dipped my brush into. I grabbed the roll of paper towels beside me and tried to save my work, dabbing it on the painted picture watching it change a horrible dark icky colour. But it was too late. It was ruined. I could feel tears welling up. I looked around to see her walking towards the door.

“Oops,” she said as she left the room.

I stood in shock at my now damaged Evan piece; the dark colour started to dry slowly. It felt like my world had just collapsed down on me. I had worked so hard to finally get this piece for my final and now it’s gone. I leant down on the picture and buried my face in my arms. It’s ruined. Everything was a mess. Don’t cry, hold it in. Don’t cry, hold it in. God damn it, Amelia.

I was never going to get this done in time for the exhibition. I tried to blink the tears away but they kept coming. I took a deep breath taking another glance at my now ruined canvas. It would have been perfect if I’d finished it. I balled my hands into fists. She destroyed my final piece and it would have been one of my best. I’d always say to myself to not let my anger control me, but right now, I’m overcome with it. Not being able to control my actions I stomped down the stairs and trudged towards the canteen. I barged through the double doors, scanning the area.

I finally clocked her sitting with her friends and I walked towards her, tapping her shoulder. I grabbed the glass which was sitting in front of her and splashed it onto her face. She shot up from her seat

“How dare you!” She seethed.

“Excuse me, you hypocrite.”

She pushed me and I fell back a couple of steps. I managed to steady myself and pushed her back, but harder. She fell to the floor and I grabbed the food from the table, throwing it at her. She kicked my feet and I fell to the ground; she tried to grab hold a fist full of hair but mine shot up collided with her face. She sat holding her face and I was stunned by my own actions. I jumped up to my feet and she screamed at me. I paused as everything felt like déjà vu.

The next thing I knew I was being pulled away. I felt someone’s arm wrap tightly around my waist. I tried kicking and screaming to no avail. Before I could retaliate I was hanging over the person’s shoulder and we were leaving the canteen. I was too angry to notice who was trying to pull me out of there until the cold air hit me. I started to calm down. I looked up to see Evan standing there with anger in his eyes; they made me feel so small.

“What the hell was that about?”

“Well, ask that stupid cow,” I spat back.

“No, I'm asking you,” he hissed. He furrowed his brow, his gaze intense. I didn’t dare to fight back. I get it now, I get it. She’s your girlfriend, of course you will stick up for her.

“She poured water on my painting of you.” I shuffled from one foot to another and looked down, picking at my nails. He stood there silently for a few moments, and then when I looked up he was gone.

I rushed into the canteen and saw Evan advancing towards the red-head. I didn’t know whether to follow him or stay behind. But I found myself walking back inside, slowly moving over to the group.

“Kym,” he belted. “Why the hell did you pour water on her work?”

“Why are you even defending her?”

“There is no need to pour water over someone’s work because you are jealous.” He yelled. Even I was scared when he raised his voice.

“Are you kidding me? You think I’m Jealous? You were the one who said to me you were just playing her and that you were trying to get her to fall in love with you.”

I stood there looking at him. His eyes snapped to mine. I turned on my heel and started to walk out while shaking my head, but he caught up with me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to face him.

“Is it true? Did you really say that about me?” I saw his eyes fill with guilt. I tried to walk away but he pulled me back again.

“Yes he did, and he was going to abandon you after.” The red-haired carried on.

“Shut up!” He yelled at her and then turned to face me again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. She was asking me loads of questions about you.”

“I told you I wasn’t that sort of girl to play games with. Get that into your thick skull. You can go to hell with your stupid excuses.” I raised my voice at him. We both stood in silence and I noticed that the room went quiet. I glanced around the canteen and everyone was looking at us. My eyes found their way back to Evan, but I shook my head.

I finally walked off, but this time he didn’t follow me. I felt my arms trembling; I’d never felt so disappointed in my life. The problem is I’m disappointed in myself. I knew this was going to happen, I knew he would deceive me but I believed in his pretty words. I believed in him.

I walked back to the room and flung myself into the chair. I sat there looking at my destroyed piece of art on the table. There was a lump in my throat, trying to hold back the tears again. Everything is a mess, why did I start to trust him? Burying my face in my arms, my eyes closed slowly. I tried to think what my next step would be for my major piece, but nothing came to my mind.

Nothing.

◎

I had spent a couple of hours trying to recover what I knew was already lost. I quickly glanced down at my watch before packing away my things, four-thirty in the evening. It was slightly dark outside, so I grabbed my bag and my work, throwing it into the bin as I left for the bus. My options were limited. I had less than two weeks to fix this. My head needed to come out from the clouds and think of something quick. Maybe I should take Ben’s advice and go out, visit places. I might get some inspiration if I was out and about.

I headed for the bus stop and Evan was standing there, leaning against the bus shed. He must have been waiting for a while. Evan finishes earlier than me so I purposely stayed behind to avoid seeing him.

Obviously I didn’t stay behind long enough.

I ignored him as I waited on the other side of the bus shelter. There was a man sitting on the bench inside listening to the song playing on his phone. I could hear it through his headphones. I noticed Evan slowly making his way over to me.

“I will model for you,” he suggested. “I will do whatever you want me to do.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line, ignoring him. I crossed my arms over my chest and shuffled a few steps away. Evan moved closer to me again.

“I will do anything, this is my entire fault,” he continued.

“You’re right, this is your fault. Whenever I see you, everything goes wrong.” My voice was surprisingly calm.

“Amelia,” Evan started, but then seemed to decide against it.

“It doesn’t matter anymore; I will come up with something different.”

“It does matter, when I saw your work, it made me really happy. To know that someone took an interest in what I was doing.”

“It made you happy did it, oh how lovely. I was happy doing it, but trouble seems to follow you wherever you go. No, actually, you are the trouble.”

“Amelia, listen to me.”

“Maybe if you beg on your knees, then I might take you up on your offer,” I said. Evan’s eyes widened at my proposal.

“No way.” He held his hands up, shaking his head. I shrugged and turned away from him. I watched as he paced back and forth. He was in deep thought. I turned my gaze back up the road looking out for my bus.

Evan shuffled over towards me. He moved into my vision and knelt slowly onto his knee. He then looked up, his eyes connecting with mine from beneath me. I could feel my face flush at the sight of him kneeling before me.

“Get up,” I said. My hand found its way to my forehead. I took a sneak glance at the guy sitting on the bench, he was watching us.

“Do you forgive me?” he asked.

I huffed and nodded at him. He jumped up with a smile on his face. I couldn’t help but smile at him. Evan, what are you doing to me?