Caleb’s P.O.V

My chest hurts. I feel like a child that has been stomped on so many times that you can't tell the difference between a child and a thing. No matter how much time I put into ST3LLAR, it always seems to blow up in my face. First the tickets, and now this. Maybe I am disgusting. I just needed the right person to tell me.

“Caleb?” There was a small knock at the door. “Mom and Dad are waiting for us. Hey, are you in there?” I hurriedly slipped on my shirt and wiped the salty tears off of my cheeks. I didn't want Chris to know about my.breakdown. I would get over it eventually.

“Come in,” I yelled. He came inside with a lopsided grin. His hair was messy and his clothes were wrinkled. He gave me a small hug and shot a smile at Luke to acknowledge his presence.

“Are you ready? We can bring the stale donuts to the dinner.” I forgot I was suppose to be in my room. I spent the entire night here, without telling him. He must have been worried.

“Mom would kill us,” I chuckled. His smile deepened. Alex must have told him I was here. 

“I guess we better hurry up then. I saw a grocery store on the way here.” I nodded and we made our way to the door. I didn't bother looking at Luke. It wasn't worth it.

When we got back home, the house was filled with family members from all over. I kept to myself, staying in the kitchen for most of the night. Dinner wasn't going to be ready for another hour and I had nothing better to do anyway. My mom came into the kitchen, attempting to hide a smile on her face. When she saw me, she sighed heavily.

“I think you should talk to someone.” 

I stiffened.

“What do you mean?” I said.

She pointed to the room of people I barely knew, moving aside so I could get a better view. She looked over at me, I looked away. My eyes were focused on the small designs on the table cloth.

“I never hear you talk about anything other than ST3LLAR. Did something happen?” People were doing crazy things all over the world. Everyone was was changing and taking risks. But not me. I kept quiet. I held my secrets tight.

“I'm really tired.” I said. “I'm going to bed.”

“Wait,” she said, “Stay here for a while longer. We can talk about anything you want.” She paused. “Please.” The way her voice sounded made my chest hurt. Minutes passed. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

My dad found us like that, suffocating in silence. He pulled her into the living room, giving me a chance to slip into my room. I locked the door behind me and sprawled myself across my bed. I was surrounded by ST3LLAR. I touched my lips, remembering the way Luke had kissed me. I didn't stop him. I was the disgusting creep who didn't stop Luke from kissing me. He probably never wants to see me again. And I have no right to listen to his music.

I jumped up from my bed and started destroying everything. Clothes, posters, autographed pictures. I broke the mirror that hung above me, letting the shattered glass fall onto my bed. I kicked my dresser onto the floor and waited The whole house was quiet. I forgot we had company over.

♪♪♪

Luke's P.O.V

“Luke, I hate you,” Maddy said in a voice I wasn't used to, heavy, low-pitched, and scratchy. I sat back in the hospital chair.

“I went out of my way to see you, and you start giving this crap. It was an accident. I didn't think you would get a throat infection.” It turns out that the vodka wasn't up to date. It was expired and it wasn't meant to be chugged down. Maddy won't be able to talk for a while, but he can still play guitar. He was acting like a broke his wrists or something.

“You punched me in the fucking face!” He croaked. He started coughing into his hand and then fell back into his pillow."You declined my offer!" I spat back at him.

“You’re a horrible person.”

“Thank you.” I couldn't help but smile. Here we go again. Another conversation about my anger issues. This was going to be fun.

“If it wasn't for the music, you'd probably be dead. You would not survive without Alex and your precious drug dealer. I hope your having fun because I’m quitting after the album gets released.” That caught me off guard. If he quit, what the hell was I suppose to do? Maddy called the nurse in to escort me out, but I refused to move.

“What do you mean? You can't just leave like that.” 

“Watch me.” One of Maddy's personal guards shoved me out of his room. Maddy couldn't do that to the band.He wouldn't do that to me.