When the lecture ended, Mustang leapt to his feet happily.

‘Great! We’re finished. That was exhausting…I'm so tired…’

‘But you didn’t do anything’ Ken told him flatly. ‘I’d tell you that you haven’t even opened your books…but you didn’t bring any with you.’

‘I don’t want to carry anything’ Mustang sighed wearily, shoulders slumped. ‘But…’ he added happily, leaning forwards on the desk towards Ken, ‘if you asked me to carry anything for you, I’d be more than happy.’

‘Mustang’ Ken began patiently, turning to face him now as the other students filed out of the room, some casting curious glances towards the both of them. ‘Whatever you're trying to do, I think you're trying too hard.’

‘What?’

‘Just give me some space. Please.’ Ken asked patiently. ‘I can’t handle you following me around all the time. It’s suffocating.’

Mustang stared at him for several moments. He seemed a little shocked, hurt even.

‘Alright’ he said. ‘I’ll go away.’

He walked off without another word, and as Ken watched him go, he felt…he felt…

…regret…

Ken turned away, hand going to his head.

I'm so confused he thought miserably. What should I do?

He was alone now. Ken put away his books slowly, doing so in a mechanical fashion. He felt unhappy now, a heavy cloud stirring within him.

Where is my life heading? He thought. What is going to happen to me in the future, I live with this man now, and…?

‘What is my brother doing now?’ Ken mumbled to himself. ‘What is my sister doing? Are they thinking of me? Do they miss me…as I miss them?’

He lifted his bag over his shoulder, trailing out of the classroom. Even the lecturer had gone now, and the corridors were empty. It was a beautiful day, and most people were outside.

He went to find his friends now. There was one person in particular he wanted to speak to.

‘Andrew’ Ken said when he had found him.

His other friends sitting on the hill before the tennis court all greeted him. Ken acknowledged them only briefly, before turning back to Andrew.

‘Hey Ken’ Andrew replied, leaning forwards. ‘Are you alright?’

Ken bit his lip in worry, staring at the ground, unable to meet his gaze.

‘I…’ Ken began, ‘I was wondering…’ he drew a steady breath, forcing himself to be calm. ‘Do you know where my brother is?’

Andrew stared up at him. He rose then, stepping towards Ken and smiling at him.

‘Let’s walk together’ he said to Ken.

Andrew and Ken wandered around the back of the college where it was quieter, walking towards the steps in the shadows of the tall building before them.

‘Take a seat’ Andrew said to him, moving towards the vending machines nearby and slotting several coins in.

Ken lowered himself down onto the steps, putting his bag down by his feet. Andrew returned to him, sitting beside him and offering him a drink. Ken took the can, staring down at it as Andrew opened his own, drinking deeply.

‘Aaaahhh’ he sighed. ‘Refreshing.’ He turned to Ken, turning serious then. ‘So. What's on your mind?’

Ken glanced at him; then looked away again.

The can in his hand felt cold, a bead of moisture ran down the side. Ken clutched the can tightly.

‘I…’ he uttered. ‘I don’t know where to begin.’ His expression dampened, and he stared miserably down at his hand. ‘Andrew. I know we don’t hang out enough anymore, I know things have changed and that we’ve both been busy.’

Andrew watched him silently, completely unmoved.

‘Promise me you won’t not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Promise you’ll keep it a secret.’

‘I promise’ Andrew replied.

Ken looked away again. ‘You're the only one I feel I can tell…the others……they wouldn’t understand.’ Ken drew a steady breath. ‘You know…that I live with Mustang in his apartment now.’

‘Yes’ Andrew mumbled back. ‘I had heard something of the sort.’

‘My parents kicked me out, because of what I said to them.’

Ken explained everything to him, and Andrew listened in complete silence. When Ken was finished, he was trembling slightly from his nerves.

‘Please’ Ken said to him. ‘Please tell me you understand.’

Andrew bowed his head.

‘I do understand’ he said sincerely. ‘This is not the first story like this I've heard.’

‘It isn’t?’

‘No. There are many more people like you than you know.’

They spoke some more.

Ken sat on the steps hugging his knees to him, his drink which he had forgotten sat beside him, getting warm now.

‘I think I've missed my lecture’ Ken mumbled. ‘I guess it doesn’t matter.’ He turned to Andrew. ‘Thank you’ Ken said to him. ‘You’ve…really helped me.’

Andrew smiled widely up at him, eyes gleaming. ‘Anytime I can help’ he said.

Ken rose to his feet, picking up his bag.

‘I'm going now’ he said to Andrew. ‘I'm going to find my brother and sister.’

‘Just remember’ Andrew spoke to him carefully, ‘they are likely to follow whatever their parents say. Just be prepared for that.’

‘I will’ Ken nodded to him. ‘Thank you.’

He walked away then.

Andrew leant back, reaching for the can Ken had left behind and opening it.

He drank deeply from it, crunching the empty can in his hand and sighing deeply.

Andrew rose, bringing to his face the plague mask he brought from his bag, and walking away.

*

Ken left his college then, glancing at his wrist for the time. His brother and sister went to a different school than he did. Their parents had tried to get them placed in the same school together, but there had not been enough places, and so Ken had to go to another school.

He waited outside the gates for several hours, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

He leant back against the wall, hugging himself.

Since when have I been so nervous of meeting my own siblings?

Ken gripped his own arms tighter, nails digging hard into his skin.

Pull yourself together. Just get it together.

His stomach flipped over as he saw them suddenly. His brother and his sister walked side by side, heading away from him. Ken stared at their backs as they went, feeling sudden doubt within him.

Maybe I should let them go. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to them.

‘Walter!’ he called out. ‘Sue!’

They turned around, eyes widening at the sight of him.

‘Ken!’ his sister called out.

She ran to him and into his arms, sobbing into his chest.

‘Ken…’ she whimpered. ‘Oh Ken…’

‘I'm sorry’ Ken said to her, feeling tears prickling in his eyes as he held her back. ‘I'm sorry…’

‘Our parents’ Sue told him, ‘mother, she wants nothing to do with you. We’ve tried to speak to her, but she won’t listen.’

Walter came up behind Sue, standing before Ken. He smiled at him sadly, and Ken smiled back.

Sue let go of Ken, stepping back.

‘I thought’ Ken began tentatively; ‘that you might not want to speak to me, might not want to know me anymore…after what I said.’

‘You’re still our brother’ Walter said to him. ‘We still care about you, but…I think it’s best if we don’t see each other again.’

‘Walter!’ Sue cried. ‘How could you say that?’

‘No’ Ken spoke firmly, shocking her. ‘He’s right.’

‘Ken’ Sue uttered, tears shinning in her eyes.

‘I'm sorry’ Ken smiled at his sister. ‘I'm just too different now. I'm not the person our parents want me to be. I cannot lie to myself anymore. I have to live my life as my own.’

And then Mustang’s words rang in his mind.

Live your life as you should, not how others want. Live in the moment.

‘Do you mean what you said?’ Sue asked him tentatively. ‘Is it really true?’

‘Yes’ Ken spoke quietly to her. ‘I’m sorry. I've felt this way for some time. I can’t pretend anymore that I'm different, I cannot deny who I really am.’

Walter stepped up to Ken then, lifting his arms and embracing him.

‘I'm sorry’ Walter whispered to him, blinking back his own tears as he held him. ‘I’m sorry things turned out this way.’

Ken smiled sadly as he held his brother.

Walter stepped back, and Ken embraced his sister, just one last time.

‘Be happy’ Ken whispered to her, stroking her hair back lovingly. ‘I know it’s hard, but try your best to just forget about me. Don’t think of me again, pretend that I never existed.’

‘But Ken’ she sobbed, unable to hold back her tears.

‘Don’t worry’ Ken said to her, fighting back his own tears. ‘I’m happy now, happier than I was before. I never realised it…until things changed.’ He smiled. ‘Don’t worry about me, I have a place to live, and I'm happy. I promise. I would never lie to you.’

*

Ken and his siblings parted ways after that.

Ken walked alone, feeling a lump in his throat.

He left the centre of the town then, heading to the edges where it was quieter.

His wandering feet took him to a graveyard. He pushed open the wrought iron gates, they screeched as they swung open, and Ken stepped forward, following the path into the graveyard.

Here he found Mustang.

Ken paused then, seeing him sitting there with his legs crossed, resting in the shade of a tree.

He watched him for a moment, standing a distance away, simply watching.

After a time he stepped forward to make himself known, and Mustang, seeing movement, glanced around.

‘Hey’ he smiled as Ken approached.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.

‘Oh…’ Mustang mumbled, turning away, ‘nothing in particular…just……sitting.’

Ken frowned at him, raising an eyebrow.

‘Why are you here?’

‘It’s peaceful here’ Mustang said to him, ‘don’t you think?’

Ken stared at him for a few moments, before his attention drifted away, seeing the graveyard around them.

Everything was still, there was no breeze on this day, and the sun above them in the sky shone brightly down, lighting up the world below.

The grass around them was bright, the flowers dotted about the graveyard before the headstones were beautiful, and the sparrows flitting about the bushes here and there sung their melodies.

‘It is’ Ken mumbled, speaking to Mustang again, ‘it is beautiful…’

Mustang smiled at him, glancing towards Ken only briefly, before looking away again.

‘I know I live a wild life’ he mumbled, ‘but even I…at times…enjoy peace.’ He breathed a heavy sigh then, closing his eyes for a moment, before opening them again. ‘I love it here’ he spoke, ‘here…I get a different perspective of the world…and it is beautiful.’

Ken continued to watch him, saying nothing.

‘I promise’ Mustang said to him, suddenly changing the subject, ‘I promise I’ll behave myself. I'm trying to be sophisticated after all. Like you.’

Ken narrowed his eyes. ‘I thought you didn’t remember last night.’

Mustang faltered then, realising he had slipped up. He grinned then.

‘Alright’ he said. ‘You caught me.’

Mustang rose to his feet, moving over to Ken, but stopping a few steps away.

‘I love you’ Mustang said to him. ‘My feelings for you are genuine. I will make you see, but…’ he smiled as he walked past him. ‘I will give you space, I will respect your needs, as you want me to.’

He passed him by, pausing to glance back as Ken turned to face him.

‘I love you Ken’ Mustang told him. ‘I love you.’

Mustang smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets. He turned and walked away, without another word.

Ken glared furiously after him, cheeks burning and balling his fists. He gritted his teeth, heart thumping in his chest.

Mustang……

*

Weeks passed, and to Ken’s surprise, Mustang kept his word.

He still lived with Mustang, and went to college every day. His life returned to as normal a routine as it could have. He did not see his parents, and he did not see nor hear from either his brother or sister. It hurt him at first, but the pain was slowly beginning to ebb away.

But what he had told his siblings had been true. He was happy, despite everything.

One morning, on a day when he had no college, Ken spoke to Mustang.

‘What do you mean you want a job?’ Mustang asked him.

‘I would have thought that it was self-explanatory’ Ken replied flatly, cooking his breakfast slowly and watching Mustang who sat on the sofa.

He had slept on the sofa that night, having come home late as he had been out drinking.

‘I want to earn money’ Ken said to Mustang, flipping his egg over in the pan. ‘I don’t want to depend on you for food and everything. I want to provide for myself.’

Mustang sighed wearily, slumping back on the sofa and hooking his leg over the back.

‘I suppose that makes some sense’ he grumbled. ‘What sort of job did you have in mind?’

‘Anything’ Ken replied. ‘Just a few hours a week around my classes. I won’t be in college forever. I have to learn to look after myself. I have to decide what to do with my life.’

Mustang watched him closely as he spoke, resting his arm across his forehead, staring up at the ceiling.

‘Didn’t you say you wanted to be a designer?’ Mustang asked him.

‘Yeah’ Ken said. ‘But in the meantime, I need money now. I have to graduate from college first, and get good grades; then I can pursue my dreams.’

Mustang listened to Ken talk, hearing the spit of the oil in the pan, he sighed deeply, closing his eyes and becoming still.