Enzo skidded into Kade’s quarters a split second before the man himself, wincing as his guardian slammed his fist into the door lock and strode over to his weapons case without a word. He stood in anxious silence as Kade started pulling his weapons out of their holsters and shoving them into their case with none of his usual care.

“Sir, I – “ Enzo started, the words bubbling up without his consent, but Kade cut him off with a raised hand and a sharp glare.

“You will speak when spoken to! I can’t – “ He paused to sigh and rub a hand over his face, his dark tawny skin stretching with the pressure of his fingers. “You can’t keep doing these things, Enzo.”

“But I saved him!” Enzo snapped, taking a bold step forward.  

Kade slammed his fist on the table, the echo ringing in Enzo’s ears. “And what the fuck did you think I was going to do, huh? Leave the kid to be sold off again? Lose our whole payday?”

“I didn’t think – “

“No, you didn’t!” Kade spat, and Enzo couldn’t help his flinch. “That’s the problem! You never think. You’re always jumping into things before you’ve seen the whole picture, always running in head first like you think you’re some kinda godsdamn hero.”

Enzo’s cheeks flooded with heat and he could no longer hold his guardian’s furious gaze. He turned his stinging eyes to the floor instead as he heard Kade sigh and drop into the chair at his desk.

“You could have lost everything for us, kid. Could have cost not only the haul, but the life of that slave boy too.”

Enzo peeked up from behind his inky black bangs and saw that Kade had one elbow propped on the desk so he could rub at his temple. “You don’t know Cando, don’t know what he’s capable of. You could have died. He would have killed you without losing a wink of sleep over it.”

Enzo exhaled shakily, fighting back the sting of tears, embarrassed, frustrated, ashamed. There was nothing that could make him feel burning shame the way the disappointment lacing his guardian’s voice could. He knew that Kade had never truly seen him as a son, wouldn’t ever allow him to call him ‘dad’, but he’d still strived his entire life to live up to the man’s expectations. Despite what the other man felt, Enzo has always viewed him as his father and he couldn’t stand it when he let him down.

“I’m sorry, alright? I just – the kid was so scared and he called for me and I couldn’t just – “ He swiped roughly at the tear that had escaped despite his best efforts to keep it in. “I couldn’t just let him go. He called for me.” 

Kade let out a frustrated breath and kicked out the other chair. “Sit down before you hurt yourself, kid.”

Enzo dropped into the offered seat and scrubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, but I’m serious. You can’t keep putting me into this type of situation either. You’re my responsibility, and you can’t keep doing stupid shit like this because I can’t keep letting you off with a slap on the wrist.” Kade nudged at his boot under the table until Enzo looked up to meet his level gaze. “You’re not a child anymore, Zo. You’re a full-fledged member of my crew now and you’re going to have to start acting like it.”

Enzo chewed his bottom lip. “I know. I promise I’ll try harder.”

“You better,” Kade said, shoulders drooping as the tension eased out of them. He leaned back into his chair with a weary sigh, transitioning from what Enzo privately referred to as his Admiral persona to his Kade persona.

“Kade,” Enzo ventured when the silence had stretched for what felt like an appropriate amount of time. “Who was Cando talking about? The man you executed?”

Kade groaned and dropped his head back so he was talking up at the ceiling. “Can’t you let me relax for ten seconds before you hit me with a question like that?”

“I guess I could, but that doesn’t really sound like something I’d do, so…”

Kade’s lips quirked in a reluctant grin. “Oughtta have a talk with whatever poor sucker raised you. No manners, I swear.”

“B minus on the attempt at a subject change there, Admiral,” Enzo quipped, relaxing back into his chair. He poked gingerly at his split lip, tongue darting out to lick at the blood still welling there.

He heard Kade get to his feet and stomp away, mumbling obscenities, and took the opportunity to examine his bruised knuckles too. When the footsteps returned he found an ice pack thrust under his nose.

“Here,” Kade barked, sitting back down as Enzo took the pack and gratefully pressed it to his rapidly swelling lip. “Not that you don’t deserve every scrape. It’s your own fool fault he hates you so damn much, you know.”

Enzo snorted. “I was, like, six when I stole his eye. And I only did it the one time. I call that holding a grudge.”

“First of all, you were ten and you know it. Second of all, don’t play innocent with me. You spent years fucking with Talon, and the guys still, to this day, tell him he needs to sleep with one eye open.”

He couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out, but quickly covered it with an unconvincing cough when Kade raised a meaningful eyebrow at him. “Right, right. You have to admit, though, he’s always the one who gets physical. Anyway, enough about me and more about Kade, feared mercenary who moonlights as an executioner.” 

Kade sighed, and Enzo just barely resisted the urge to ask him if he was having breathing problems. “It ain’t funny, alright? I didn’t want to execute him, but he left me no choice.”

Enzo leaned forward in his seat, elbows resting on the table. “Alright, hold on, back it up for a second. Who are we talking about here?”

“Taryn, Zarek’s father, was my eighth captain. He was one of my closest friends, and when Zarek was a kid he was like a nephew to me.” He pulled his flask down from the shelf by his head and took a long swig. “I don’t know what happened, why he did it, but when Zarek was three or four Taryn started getting into the slave trade. I had no fucking clue, but when he left on missions he used a few of his ships to acquire and transport people.”

Enzo realized he was tapping his foot, a nervous habit he’d always had, and stilled himself with a physical effort so that he didn’t distract from the story.

“Anyway, it didn’t sit right with a few of the men on his fleet, and they sought me out one day. Told me what was going on, and where I could find proof. I think Zarek was fourteen at this point, and it had been going on for so long, right under my damn nose.” He leaned back in his seat, and Enzo wondered if he’d ever told this story to anyone before because now that he’d started talking it seemed to be becoming easier for him to talk. 

“I did what I had to. I hunted him down, gave him a chance to explain. He had a kid with him, so young and so innocent, five years old, maybe - some slave boy he was hired to take to the other side of the quadrant. It wasn’t until he put his blaster to that little boy’s head that I knew Taryn was lost to me. It killed me to shoot him down. I still dream about it, sometimes, still think about the way his face looked in that split second when he realized what was about to happen. The thing is, I didn’t pay attention to what was behind him. My shot went straight through him and into the engine room behind him. I only had time to get Zarek and the other boy out. I lost so many men that day, cost so many lives.

“Zarek – stars, that poor kid – he saw everything. He watched me shoot his dad down at fourteen years old, watched the man he’d considered his uncle blow his dad’s ship and everyone in it to smithereens and it wrecked him. I tried so hard to fix it, but how do you even explain something like that to someone so young? I didn’t know how to raise a kid at all – still don’t, I guess – let alone one whose life I’d fucked up forever. He was smart, always had been, and a year later he took one of my ships and lit out of here.”

Enzo let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, picking up the flask on the table and taking a swig. He manfully tried to hold back the burning need to cough and gingerly set the container back on the table. “So – ugh, gross – so, this was the first time you’ve seen him since then?”

Kade looked faintly green, and took another fortifying gulp from the flask. “Not exactly. I guess he would have been sixteen when he came for the men who had turned on his father. I’ve never seen a more ruthless murder, and I murder people for a damn living. Just took out all four of them while they were out on a mission like it was nothing. The worst part was that he sent out a distress signal for me, brought me there so I could see the carnage myself, see his dad’s name written in their blood. It was dark, kid.”

“How come I don’t remember all of this?” Enzo asked, frowning.

“You were a kid still? I tried to keep you from the worst of our line of work till you were older. No sense in causing you even more nightmares.”

They lapsed into a solemn silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Kade was the first to snap out of it, shaking off the memories and pulling himself to his feet. “Alright, story time’s over. You better get your ass to bed. Got a long day of drills ahead of you tomorrow.”

Enzo jolted to his feet. “What? Aw, come on Kade!”

“You’re lucky you don’t get worse than that after the shit you pulled on the mission, let alone after you started yet another godsdamn fight with Talon!”

“But – “

“Boy, don’t fucking test me, I swear you’ll regret it.”

Enzo groaned. “Yes, sir.”

Kade smirked at his charge. “Go on, get! Before I change my mind and put you on cleaning duty, too.”

Enzo grumbled inaudibly as he made his way to his own room next door to Kade’s, but ultimately knew he’d gotten off easy. He spent the rest of the night lying in bed, unable to stop thinking about Kade’s story, unable to stop thinking about that smirking face and what had driven the man to become a pirate.