I’ve been poked, and prodded, and inspected, and shoved and pushed and battered. But my walk is methodical, my shoulders are back, and my face is impassive. I’ve passed inspection, I’m a full member of the Queen’s Guard. I’m not in training any longer. I’m an elite, and soon I’ll be able to figure out what’s going on in this gilded nightmare.

I’ll be assigned to a member of the Royal Family soon enough. Assignments are fluid around here, if the Queen tells you to do something, you do that. I’d much prefer to stick around the Queen, not one of her brainwashed, stuck up, prissy daughters. If I was one of her guards, I’d be able to see what she was doing. I’d be willing to do that, even if her guard is 120% more likely to die.

Heading back to my room, the sounds of boots clicking surrounding me, I can’t help being nervous. It’s not that I’m afraid of dying. It’s that I’m afraid of dying before I have a chance to find anything out. Before I have a chance to make what I’m doing count. I’m afraid of being discovered. Discovered as a lone agent would be vastly preferable to being discovered and giving away my whole organization. There are so many risks, so many things I have to watch out for.

I close the door behind me and glance at Kari’s bed. She’s not here yet, but she could be here at any time. I quickly add to my sketch, and return it to its place. I tug off my boots, setting them down on the floor gently.

“Hey Seana!” Kari flings open the door, her eyes immediately finding mine. “How was your day?” She asks, her boots clicking even louder than mine as she makes her way to her bed. She jumps as she sits, so that her legs fly up in the air, and she bounces.

“It was… alright.” I say, straightening up and sitting on my bed calmly.

“Yeah? I had an idea!” She says, leaning forward and tucking her feet under the bed. “Why don’t we get to know each other better? I was thinking, you know, we haven’t really talked much about ourselves! I just kinda showed you around, ya know?” She chatters excitedly, obviously waiting for a response.

“Yeah. Yeah, that could be fun.” I say, smiling a bit. Her excitement is infectious, and although I know I must be careful, it can’t hurt too much to get to know her better, right? It might help me understand her motives, if anything is to come up.

“Great!” She says, beaming. “I’ll go first! Unless you want to?” She asks, tilting her head. I shake my head, unable to wipe the slight smile off my face. “Alright! So uh… hi!” She waves, and smiles so big her eyes disappear. “I’m Kari, but if you wanted to be fancy and all that it’s Karina Worrell. I guess… the thing that I say most often when people say to say an interesting fact is probably that I have a bunch of pet snakes. I just don’t get the stigma about them! They’re really smooth and soft and you can just pet them.” She says, rocking side to side.

“What kind of snakes?” I ask. It’s probably the first question I’ve asked her that wasn’t strictly for a specific purpose.

“None of them are venomous, so that means that they all kill their prey by squeezing them. They’ve never tried to kill me though, I feed them pretty well. I’ve got a bunch of brightly colored ones, just cause they’re pretty.” She says, gesturing wildly. “What about you, do you have any pets?”

Hesitating for a second, I remembered a time in my childhood. “Well it wasn’t exactly my pet… But one time, a fox escaped from the Autumn hall, and it ended up near our pavilion. It was scared, and I took care of it for a while. My mother made me return it, but it was the only other living thing I’ve taken care of.”

“That’s really sweet of you!” That was a very kind thing you did. “I wouldn’t know how to take care of a wild fox.” Where did you learn how to care for an animal like that? I’d like to read the book, if you learned it from one.

“I learned from a book.” I don’t remember the name of the book. Only that he read it too.

“Do you like reading? I prefer the myths of the humans. It’s fascinating to see how many of them thought they knew what they were talking about.” I nod. Human myths had never really interested me. I was more interested in the accounts of other races in our world. I’d much rather know how to talk to a troll without offending them than what the humans think lords over them.

“Yeah. I like reading.” I don’t want to disagree with her, she’s still too new. And that’s when I realize I’m not analyzing her. I’m not trying to figure out her purpose in life, or her reason for being here. I’m simply trying to get to know her. I’m not putting this information into categories, I’m simply learning information about her and remembering it, for her sake.

“You alright? You got kinda pale…” She’s concerned. She’s concerned for me, simply because I went pale.

“I’m alright, it’s okay.” I nod, and then stop cause I don’t know what I’m agreeing to. I put my hands together, and put them between my knees. I can’t decide whether to look at her, or next to her, or somewhere else entirely. I settle for above her left shoulder, because then I can glance at her face and not be staring.

“You don’t like talking to me.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. Her face isn’t hurt, or concerned anymore. I don’t know how to tell her that that’s not exactly true… that I’d love talking to her if she wasn’t in the middle of the Queen’s army, if we had met most anywhere but here. “It’s alright, I’m not an easy person to get used to. Especially if you’re quiet, like you.” Quiet? I’m anything but quiet. I ramble on for hours and hours… but I suppose it’s all in my head. I open my mouth, but she starts speaking first. “I know I’m a bit annoying. But I’m still your roommate, and I’ve been here longer, and I want to help you. This place isn’t easy to get used to either.” She’s looking at the floor, not even at me.

“I’m sorry.” It’s not something I say often. I don’t often get the chance.

“Don’t be. It’s your feelings, you can’t change them just because I look sad.”

“But I don’t not like talking to you.” I want to say more, but I can’t.

“But that doesn’t mean you enjoy it, either. So many things about this place are unenjoyable, I don’t want to be another.”

“You’re not.” There’s nothing else to say. And yet I find myself saying more. “I like talking to you. You’re very nice to me, even if I haven’t been exactly forthcoming. I’m very grateful for your help, and I don’t wish to cease speaking with you.” Cease? What am I thinking? This is the army, no place for words like cease. Or forthcoming, for that matter.

“Seana. I think that’s the longest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Is it? Am I letting my guard down? She doesn’t seem dangerous, but hopefully neither do I.

“Kari. I think it’s shorter than most things I’ve thought.” I can’t help but smile a little. And she smiles a little back.