I have a question. Do we live to play or do we live to work?

This thought came across my mind recently when I realized I have not enough money to get through the month after the Steam Summer Sale.

As a 18 year old soon-to-be adult this is an immediate threat to my future; I cannot communicate properly with others, I am extremely clumsy during the day and worst of all I have zero patience. In short, I am unsuitable to work in an environment requiring teamwork.

This phobia of being afraid to talk to another person roots all the way back from being an outcast in class when I was younger, since I did not have any attempt to change this introvert kind of habit. It has now come back to bite me.

My parents cannot feed me forever.

I cannot live my life inside this small room, separated from the world.

In order to survive, I need the essentials nutrients such as carbohydrates, fats, fiber, minerals, proteins, vitamins and water to live. Without those I am as good as dead. 

I can't die without achieving my goal. I have to live in order to see the day when those who bullied me suffers.

OR...

I can just play for the remaining time of my life.

I have heard news about gamer that stayed up all night and died after playing 40+ hours of gaming spree. If I were to do that, I can enjoy the rest of my life by playing my favorite games and watching those anime that were considered erotic.

Imagine for the next 2 days or so, forgetting about all the trivial things in the world. Being able to do what you have always desired, without restriction. Isn't this already considered as a win if we were to compare with those that will work the rest of their life away like some kind of slave?

I mean I don't understand how the society works exactly, but based on some of the current trends, I deduce the system that most of us are and/or will experience:

Step 1: Compete in a saturated market for jobs. Each applicants will have a thick portfolio and some form of working experience which we might not have.

Step 2: Exploited by the employer to work for their firm for less than what our degree/diploma actually worth. While they will convince us that as time goes, our pay will rise accordingly.

Step 3: Pay what we have earned with our time to the government as taxes. While struggling to pay rent and making day's meet.

Step 4: Life will basically becomes a routine until we retire or change our job. We wake up each day to anticipate another day of tormenting higher authority's scolding. Use that few hours after work to 'enjoy' our hobby, to distract ourselves from the stress we are having. Looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend to satisfy our human instincts. 

All these may or may not be applicable to all of us, but majority will feel more or less the same. A boring, repeating routine.

If life were to be a game, then it is the worst game there is. It has literally no ways of clearing this stage. No clear goals to accomplish. More than 8 billion individual players in the same server, possibly more than half of them have more achievements than what we will achieve in our life. The settings are unfair; not everybody starts at the same 'level'. Even the area where we 'farm our experience' is different from one another. This game is absolutely the worst and we are forced to play until we die.

We could work, despite all that I have said.

We could work to become better, become richer and to explore more about this world before we take our leave for good. Many successful historic figures have painful past and yet by overcoming it, they ascent into legends. So can we, the losers today can become the heroes of tomorrow.

Alexander Hamilton. Socrates. Thomas Edison. Muhammad Ali. There are many more legends, and we all know their story but we never become them. Ultimately we become part of the Earth without accomplishing anything we hoped to be.

There isn't much time left for us, time is ticking quick. The option between should we play hard or work hard have no definite answer. However, the answer seems clear to me now. If I die now, I can't hope to play half-life 3 or expect a greater game than Overwatch. I still want to see more awesome animes and read more novels published by talents individuals. If possible I want to be a part of them as well.

I guess I will overcome my weakness and try to work for the best of my future.