There was a popular group in our year at school. And I don’t mean just a little bit popular. I mean an uber-popular, super-elite, crazy-socialite-A-list type group. In fact, there were only two types of girl in our Year; the girls in the popular clique, and the girls who wanted to be in the popular clique. Nothing else mattered.

At primary school there had been a few kids who were kind of cool. I always seemed to know who was in or out, and my best friend Samantha and I had heaps of conversations about it (I would have talked to Charlie, my twin sister, but she was too busy playing handball to take any notice) but even if the princess-ish girls were a bit mean, no one was left as an outcast forever and mostly everyone just hung around together.

It wasn’t like that at high school.

Especially not at my high school. Because, you see, from the beginning of Year Seven, Charlie didn’t go to the same school as me.

People have different theories about twins. Some think you should never separate us. Others think we should be separated from kindergarten and never dressed alike or anything. And, I guess, when we got to high school, my parents must have decided that the separation theory was at least partly right. Charlie went to St Catherine’s School, down the road from our house in Randwick, and I started to catch the bus—with Sam, thankfully—to St Agnes’ School for boarders and day girls in the next suburb.

On the first day of Year Seven, the teachers put us into ‘colour’ groups to help us ‘bond’, whatever that was supposed to mean. There were about 15 girls in Purple with me and Samantha.

And one of them was Saffron.

The first time I saw her I just stood there and looked. I knew it was rude and I knew I looked stupid but I couldn’t help it.

Saffron was truly the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

Her hair was blonde and perfectly straight. It was just messy enough to look effortless but I knew it must have taken her a long time to do it. She was tall but she didn’t have that hunch that lots of tall girls have. She looked confident—almost like she was in charge of the school. Her skin was perfect and everything about her, except her nose, which, it turned out, was never, ever shiny, looked glossy and new.

She was with her friend, Tiger Lily, who was also completely beautiful but in a whole different way. Her hair was dark and she had a short, pixie haircut, white skin and pouty lips. She looked like a retro folk singer who goes on the X-Factor and wears cutesy 50s frocks with Doc Martens and bright red lipstick.

All the girls in the Purple group had to go around the circle and introduce themselves.

“Hi, I’m Susanna and I went to Bay West public school,” said the first girl, smiling and looking around hopefully. She looked like she was thinking, I really hope you like me.

The second girl was Montana and she told us that it was her birthday in a week and giggled a bit. After that everyone did pretty much the same thing. They said their name and then a little detail about themselves and then they smiled nervously, obviously thinking, Help me out here, people, I need some friends.

But when it was Saffron’s turn, she did it completely differently. First, she waited. It probably wasn’t even a second, not long enough for anyone to really notice but just long enough so that she got everybody’s attention.

“I’m Saffron,” she said. Nothing else. But she didn’t need anything else. She smiled and tilted her head and looked around at the group almost as if she was introducing herself to a bunch of little kids. Her eyes were big and her voice sounded sweet but at the end she gave her hair a perfect flick and all of a sudden I felt completely wrong and oddly weird. It was like I had huge hands or a pimple on my nose or massive swollen legs. My whole body seemed off-balance next to hers but I couldn’t look away.

Tiger Lily was right next to her. She waited as well, but she looked back at Saffron before she spoke and raised her eyebrows.

“Tiger Lily,” she said, but her voice sounded like she was making fun of us all.

The girl who was next almost couldn’t get her words out.

“I’m Milly,” she squeaked but no one was interested in her. Or the Sashas and Jessicas and Emilys who followed along. The only two people that were important were Saffron and Tiger and everyone wanted to be their friend.

Including me.

Because in that moment I had a revelation. Even though I sat there feeling weird and uncomfortable, I knew that I was changed forever. It’s kind of cheesy, but words actually popped into my head. This is my destiny. This is who I want to be.