“You realize you’re thirty minutes late, hun?” The fat middle-aged lady asks from behind the front desk. She’s got a plate of pancakes in front of her with a little container of maple syrup, and two sausage links.

“Really? I just came up here because I like you so much and I wanted a bite of your pancakes.” The lady, Martha by her nametag, started coughing around a bite of sausage.

She takes a sip of a coffee mug filled with water and just stares at me for a moment, her face a little red and her mouth opening and shutting like a fish gasping for water. Then she starts chuckling.

“Oh you’re just a hoot, you are, how can I help you hun?”

“Umm…a late note?” I ask pointing to the pad of tardy slips beside her. I’m not really worried about getting in trouble for my sardonic attitude. After all it’s proven that no one can stay angry when they have a plate of pancakes in front of them, plus I know from past experience that most front desk ladies never take anyone seriously.

I’m almost in the clear when Martha calls out to me around a bite of pancake. “Hun, where are your shoes?” After a quick recap of my morning to plenty of sympathy from Martha, who offers me some of that nasty candy that only old people carry around. I was then directed to the lost and found and ended up having to use a pair of icky brown sneakers. They were two sizes too big, let’s just say I could feel myself getting athletes foot, and then I was finally sent on my way.

“You have a nice day now, hun.” Yeah, right..that’ll happen.

Mrs. Raleigh had already assigned partners and lucky me Aether had volunteered to partner with the kid that no one knew who wasn’t even in class yet. So picture a 6” blonde jock happily sitting alone, reading a book about fungus, of all things, the book was seriously called, ‘The Great World of Fungus’, cheerily waving you over to the empty desk in front of him, and that was my first introduction of Aether.

“Hi-I’m-Aether—Aether-Lislington-18. Well you probably don’t need to know that-Actually my birthday was yesterday. The-last-day-of-summer. Although it’s not the technical last day of summer, but the last day before the school term. At least it’s not on the first day of school. I like the rainbow socks by the way.”

He immediately began talking so fast his words could have given a person whiplash. “Your name is Raylen Harrison right? Our-last-names-have-the-same-kind-of-feel-to-them-don’t-they. Long last names are always fun. I heard you’re a genius that skipped ahead. I was offered that choice when I was your age too, but I love school too much to rush it. Not that there is anything wrong with rushing ahead. I bet you’ve already planned for college right? I don’t know where I’m going to go yet but I know what I want to do. I want to be an inventor. Or maybe work in the environment or with animals or something with children…I guess I haven’t figured it out yet but anyway since you were late I’ll fill you in on what we’re doing and then we can get started. We’ve got a week before the assignment—”

“Will you take a breath?!” And those were my first words to Aether. And would you believe that idiot actually took a gulp of air and then continued!?

“Oh sorry, was I talking too fast? I do that sometimes but don’t worry, I’m fine. I used to play the tuba. I’ve got great lung capacity and—”

“No! I was just trying to tell you to shut up in the nicest way I could—”

“Oh you’re right, the introductions can come later we should start talking about the assignment. So first we need to…”

And on he went. To say his intentions of friendship were completely one sided is an understatement. I’d also made the mistake of accepting his extra sandwich when he found out I hadn’t brought lunch. It was a good sandwich, but definitely not worth the price of Aether stalking me…wait a minute.

Pause.

I just heard my name.

“Alright Raylen Harrison and Aether Lislington will be the senior trip student representatives. The two of you can see me after the meeting to discuss the details of your duties for the duration of the trip. Thank you for volunteering. Now an itinerary will be provided…”

Mr. Boyd just said Raylen Harrison and the word volunteer in the same sentence…that means…Aether volunteered me while I was spaced out. See what I mean? No good comes from knowing this guy.

I mean did I just really hear my-- no he wouldn't dare! Would he? I look over to see a big stupid smile on his stupid face and I realize that he would, and did! I literally have to stop myself from standing up and giving him a piece of my mind because I know that Aether's precious little brain wouldn't even begin to absorb half of the expletives that I could and should be hurling his way.

I mean how dare he; I wasn't even planning on going on that stupid trip, never mind volunteering to participate in it! I already mapped out how I was going to get out of it, and take a bus into the next town over and explore with Spudd (he's way better company). This is a new low even for him. I can't believe he just washed my plans down the drain like that… Actually I refuse to let that happen. I hate to burst his bubble, but as soon as this meeting is adjourned, I am going to have Mr. Boyd take me off the list.

All right, I lied, I have no problem wiping that smile off his over friendly face. Not like it’d bother him anyway since his optimism makes him immune to all forms of retaliation. It’s as if he doesn’t realize that I don’t like him but also as if he thinks my counterattacks to his attempts at friendship are well…how do I put it? Like he thinks they are some sort of twisted friendship game we’re playing like how those giggly girls make friendship bracelets for each other but instead of bracelets he’s getting avoidance. Or better yet when girls give each other fake compliments, but he would actually take those seriously. Something must be messed up in his head. Maybe he was fed formaldehyde as a child or ate an expensive perfume and the fumes are causing him to view everything as his own kaleidoscope world where everything is filled with rainbows, and unicorns, and freaking sparkles. He seems like the kind of guy who would be happy to sparkle.

So, I spend the last 20 minutes glaring at a smiling Aether who returned each glare with a wave and would show me his doodles of mushrooms. Seriously? Of all the things to doodle this guy picks fungus. Is it like a phallic obsession? And when I wasn’t glaring at him I was thinking up a sob story of some sort to tell Mr. Boyd.

Mr. Boyd may redefine boring but he’s a sucker when it comes to lies. I once got out of an assignment using that classic dog ate my homework line and he fell for it.

When we were finally dismissed I began rushing to follow Mr. Boyd out of the room to plead my case, because I really needed to get out of this. No way could I spend two weeks in the mountain with a bunch of brainless sheep, and that stalking puppy dog Aether.

"Mr. Boyd! Could you wait just a moment? I need to speak with you."

"Ah yes, Miss Harrison, I was actually going to have a word with you and Mr. Lislington about your volunteer duties, but since you're both here we can begin to discuss it now."

"Both? What are you talking abo-"

Don't you know before I could even finish that sentence I felt one of his paws on my shoulder.

"Hiya Raylen, I see that you're just as eager as I am to hear more about our-"

"Shut it Aether" turning to Mr. Boyd with the best "I'm so disappointed" face that I could drum up at a moment’s notice, I say my rehearsed excuse with as much conviction as I can. "Mr. Boyd I'm sorry to inform you that I can't be a volunteer, in fact I can’t even go on the trip."

"Why is that Ms. Harrison? You and Mr. Lislington would be great student reps. To tell you the truth we originally were going to pick the two of you to begin with because you have both proven yourself academically as bright and capable students, but Mrs. Raleigh complained that we wouldn’t be giving others a chance in case they were interested.” Mrs. Raleigh would be the type to complain about something like that. Mr. Boyd begins to go into his whole spiel about making memories count and how the trip is supposed to be really fun and I’m desperately trying to cut him off before I end up with another two hour lecture.

“I know I’ve already discussed in detail all of the planned activities, but I did neglect to mention that we are staying in a resort fashioned out of cabins to give it a—”

"I understand that Mr. Boyd, but I don't have a car so I don't have a ride to where the bus is picking us up, since we aren’t meeting at school and all and the trip cost is supposed to run about $800, not to mention spending money after we get there and my family just doesn't have cash to cover that." Mr. Borings face turns down into a frown. His trademark expression when he is thinking something over. Hook. Line. Sunk. Sorry Aether looks like you’ll have to find someone else to stalk.

"Well I am sorry to hear that you might have to miss our trip due to funding. I can see if we can offer a payment plan to your parents." No, no, no…this is not going how I want it to go. I’m about to add in another reason why I’m unable to participate but Aether beats me to it.

Just before I could taste the sweet victory of getting out of this terrible trip, he went and ruined it again by opening his big mouth.

"Oh this is silly, why didn't you just tell me that Raylen? Don't worry Mr. Boyd Raylen can ride with me and I'll cover all the costs of her expenses. I’ve got some extra money set aside,” He says amongst gaping looks from both of us. Aether gives me a pat on the back that makes me want to twist his arm off. “And anything for a friend, you know. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your last trip before graduation."

Aether’s giving me that glowing smile again like he’s just done something worthy of a treat and I want to smack it off his face. Mr. Boyd looks at me like I’ve just won the lottery and gives Aether a friendly pat on the back.

"That's mighty generous of you Aether; well Ms. Harrison, I’ll make the necessary arrangements with your parents, don’t forget the permission slip at the back of your itinerary needs to be returned by next Monday. And I'll see you in a few to pick up your student rep information from my office, right?"

And just like that my dreams were crushed again by him, and he even had the nerve to look proud of himself!

So, 30 minutes and 26 possible scenarios for Aether's "accidental" death later I'm picking up the information about being a volunteer for our senior trip… Yippee. Did I say how much I hate Aether? And it didn’t help matters that my parents were actually ecstatic to find out that I had such a caring friend, so there was no hope of getting out of the trip in those regards. Considering my entire family knew I never had friends it came as quite a shock that I suddenly had a bestie willing to give me a ride and be my proverbial sugar daddy.

They were so happy I couldn’t break it to them that Aether and I were not friends. That in fact I loathed him.

I'm going to save you the trouble of hearing about the disaster that was the car ride up the mountain with Aether; because it only confirmed my belief that he is a sociopath... Mark my words. One day you will be reading about how Aether Lislington, the esteemed scholar, went on a killing spree because one of his fungi died, and did I mention he likes country music, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, The Backstreet Boys, and screamo? I will say his only redeemer was that he had quite a good collection of classical and hard rock. But he cannot sing…at all. I’d rather walk down the mountain barefoot than ride with him again. My goal is to make nice enough with a Barbie and get her to give me a ride home, here’s hoping.