I couldn’t say goodnight soon enough, placing a kiss to my mother’s cheek, and to Lyosha’s forehead, hugging my brothers and letting Renshu trail after me as I made my way towards my room.

“I believe I’m safe now,” I said to him, grinning, and he narrowed his eyes at me, “Goodnight.”

“Fine,” Renshu agreed, turning partway, and looking back at me, “If something happens, just call. I’ll be checking on you periodically through the night.”

“I know, you overprotective dolt,” I chuckled, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder in reassurance, “I’m fine, Ren. Relax for once. Have you even slept in the past three days?”

If the heavy bags under Renshu’s eyes were any indicator, I doubted it, shaking my head as he rubbed at his cheeks, “I’m not tired.”

“No, you’re exhausted,” I agreed, flicking his forehead, “Go do your rounds, check on Sen and Guiren, then I want you to sleep, alright?”

Renshu just nodded, “Fine. You better go to sleep though.”

“I for one know how to admit I’m tired,” I said, turning to my door, “I’m going to bed now. See you tomorrow.”

The moment the door was shut, I sprinted over to my bed, shoving pillows and clothes under the covers to give it the appearance I was still there before running over to my closet, throwing the doors open and grabbing similar clothes to what I’d worn when I first met Zemin. The shirt and trousers were a lot blander than what I usually wore, but appearing like a normal citizen was kind of the whole point.

When I was fully dressed, I grabbed a small bag of coins, stuffed it into the pouch hanging at my waist, and stepped over to my window, sliding the shutters open and turning down the oil lantern on my desk so the light wasn’t as bright and wouldn’t be suspicious when Renshu came back to check on me.

The night air was extremely cold, far colder than it had been the previous day, I couldn’t imagine how badly Zemin was shivering with his horrible clothes and that thin sheet being the only thing he had to keep him warm. Maybe he’d let me hold him for warmth?

My cheeks flushed at the thought, shaking my head to get the idea away so I could concentrate on hurrying to the brothel, doing my best to calmly knock on the front door so I didn’t look like a freak. The girl who opened the door was beautiful, her dark hair pulled into a bun, dressed in ornate robes and sashes with tassels hanging from the ornaments in her hair.

“Oh, mister Dai-Li,” she smiled and bowed, “Have you returned to sample more of our hostesses?”

“I was hoping to have another night with Zemin,” I corrected, and she straightened up, the smile fading and her face going blank.

“I see…,” she said in a toneless voice, stepping to the side so I could enter, “Please wait in the receiving room, I shall retrieve mistress Lien-Hua.”

There it was again, that resentment for Zemin. At first I assumed only Lien-Hua hated him, but from this girl’s reaction, it seemed far more likely that the dislike was shared among the entire house. Maybe that was why they forced Zemin to live like a mongrel, because they hated him. It seemed to me that it all stemmed from jealousy, which I could honestly believe.

Compared to Zemin, none of these women were even decent. He was just stunning, even when wearing those rags, which confirmed my assumption that real silks would just make him look god-like. I wanted to see him in better clothes, maybe he would show me a genuine smile if he had some nice clothes.

I lifted my head up when I heard the door open, arching an eyebrow when Lien-Hua stepped in, hands folded into her sleeves, a forced smile on her lips that made it appear as if she were suffering from stomach problems.

“You’re here again, mister Dai-Li. For Zemin?” she asked, and I smiled brightly.

“That’s right. I brought the same amount as last time.”

“Hn, I’m afraid that won’t do,” she tutted, lifting a partially covered hand and holding the sleeve in front of her mouth, probably an attempt to hide the sneer, “It seems you truly enjoy his company, dear soldier. I’m afraid if you wish to become a regular client, you must pay extra.”

“That’s fine,” I agreed, the smile still on my lips, “His presence is worth every coin.”

Her eyes seemed to darken into something far more sinister than normal resentment, and she pulled her hand down, “Well and good, but unfortunately Zemin is already with a client for tonight.”

My heart fell, the smile fading fast as my mind registered the meaning of her words, “I see…,” my head dropped, “Well… I’ll just have to return tomorrow night,” with that decision, I stood up, offering Lien-Hua a soft smile, “You would do well to keep tomorrow night free for me, madam. I will return with twice the payment, if that is what you wish.”

Instead of looking pleased, the older woman just scowled, before closing her eyes and forcing the smile back into place, hiding it behind her sleeve and bowing at her waist, “I thank you for your business, kind sir.”

I left after that, noting the way she narrowed her eyes when I passed her side, but I didn’t head straight for home. No, there was an ache in my chest, uncertainty, and I ended up following the fence perimeter into the trees at the crest of the mountains, walking until I found that pool and moving in the familiar direction until I reached the backyard of the brothel, hiding behind a tree and peering around it, my heart seizing in my chest.

Like Lien-Hua had said, Zemin had a client with him, and it made me sick to see the way such an old man was pushing one hand against the side of the boy’s face, holding him against the futon as he grunted, hips gyrating in a clumsy motion as he slammed his thighs into Zemin’s.

A hand rose to my mouth to both stifle a scream of outrage and keep myself from throwing up. Zemin’s face was turned towards the tree line, I could see such vacantness in his golden eyes, tears falling over the bridge of his nose and across his cheekbone to soak into the inky black hair that was pooled around him.

His robes had been tossed to the side, he was entirely nude, legs pushed towards his chest by the grimy hands squeezing his thighs under his knees. It was like a horror story, and I looked away when the man pulled out of Zemin’s body, his hand stroking his own rod until he gave a tiny noise and came onto Zemin’s chest and stomach.

He panted for a long time before pushing himself away, dropping Zemin’s legs like they were nothing before grabbing his clothes and standing to dress himself. For a long moment, Zemin just laid there, and the man dropped a small pouch onto the porch as he left. It baffled me. The pouch was much smaller than what I had brought the previous night. Did they really take Zemin for a cheap whore?

After the man had gone, Zemin started to move, sitting up and staring at the little pouch as he pulled the same robes he’d been wearing yesterday over his hips, hiding everything below the waist as he inched towards the money, biting his lip and untying the string with trembling fingers, tears pooling in his eyes as he took out a coin.

One single coin.

Then he inched back to the futon and laid down, hiding the money underneath it and wrapping the robes around his shoulders, sitting like he was waiting for something. I saw what that something was when Lien-Hua stepped around the shack, walking onto the porch with an ornate fan open and held up to cover her mouth as she stopped to take the pouch, shaking it, and shutting the fan with a click to reveal the smile.

“Well done, child. I have news as well. Moments ago, the soldier from the Lord’s estate returned, asking for you again.”

Zemin seemed only partially surprised, lifting his head to look at Lien-Hua, “He is here?” he asked in a whisper, his eyes darting around like he expected to see me.

It made my chest heavy with emotion.

“No,” Lien-Hua answered, “You already had a client, so I sent him away, but he will return tomorrow, with twice the amount as before,” she stowed the money, Zemin’s earned money, into the sleeve of her robes, clutching at her fan with both hands as she beamed, “You see, child? A powerful man has taken interest in you, and is willing to pay gold for your body!”

Zemin’s breath visibly hitched, his chest shuddering a little as he tried to hide his body with the worn-out robes, the darkness returning to his eyes as Lien-Hua continued.

“If his interest stays, we could be rich! Well,” she flipped her fan open, “I will be. You have no use for money, do you Zemin?”

“No.”

“You are just grateful that I kept a bastard child like you when you were born,” she stepped into the hut, walking around Zemin and peering down at him, reaching a hand out and tugging on a lock of his hair, sliding her fingers through it before tangling it around her hand and yanking, forcing Zemin to fall forward onto his elbows, “This is all you are good for,” she hissed, “To be fucked. What is your purpose, Zemin?”

“To be fucked,” Zemin repeated like he was a mockingbird, head bowed and dark hair veiled so far over his face I couldn’t see it, “I am for the people, my body is simply a means to an end, there is no life, no ambition, other than to be used.”

“Good boy,” Lien-Hua praised, letting go of Zemin’s hair and walking back out onto the porch, “I will have some food brought to you, since you have been so obedient today. You must bathe yourself in the pond as usual, prepare yourself for when Dai-Li arrives tomorrow, but you will not avoid your chores, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, mistress.”

“Very good. Sleep well, my doll.”

She left, and Zemin stayed in the same place for so long I was certain he’d broken, until he pushed his hair out of his face, cheeks red and eyes wide as he held his robe closed with one hand, nibbling at his bottom lip as he looked off to the side. It appeared as if he was struggling with something, jumping to his feet so fast it almost made me startle.

“He is coming again, like he said,” he breathed out, and I felt my cheeks heat up at the realization he was getting worked up because of me.

He seemed to be alright for now, standing at his wardrobe and looking through it, staggering a little, admittedly, but with light in his eyes, excitement. Excitement to see me. I couldn’t very well disappoint him, but I also knew that revealing myself now may scare him, so I stepped away to leave him, forcing myself to move away.

My beautiful Zemin.

I couldn’t wait to see him the next night.