Elliot stood nervously on the corner outside of his apartment as he waited on Danny to arrive.
It wasn’t a date, he knew that, but from the overwhelming anxiety and more than several outfit changes, anyone from an outside perspective would certainly think it was.
He had decided to opt for Winona’s advice to not care, at least wardrobe wise, and went for very casual. Clad in boat shoes, jeans, and a baggy printed tee, Elliot couldn’t actually remember the last time he was this dressed down in public.
But he wanted to look normal, unassuming.
Not that it mattered, this wasn’t a date. It couldn’t be, Elliot had already royally screwed any chance of that happening...not that he wanted it to.
I don’t….right?
Elliot decided that he didn’t, he just wanted Dan to see that he wasn’t awful. Which, Elliot thought, he’d definitely believe once he showed him that he’d deleted the video.
And then if he, of course, falls madly in love with me because I don’t actually suck that bad then I suppose it cannot be helped, Elliot thought with a contentedly delusional sigh.
He watched as Dan ran across the intersection, making his way towards him. He had clearly gone for a similar aesthetic, but Elliot supposed it was much more due to Danny’s natural nature than hyper-awareness of what it meant to “dress casual”. Bizzare 80’s band shirt and joggers, his feet clad in high tops, leaving an awkward space of calf between the shoes and pants leg, the entire look topped off by his dark, messy hair and lopsided glasses.
It occurred to Elliot in that moment that perhaps Danny didn’t actually know how to dress himself.
Danny stopped, taking a moment to catch his breath, “Scary.”
Elliot frowned, “What?”
“You, dressed all…” Danny gestured at Elliot in confusion, “You look normal.”
“You imply I don’t usually look normal.” Elliot said, emphasizing the word normal with air quotes, “We can’t all dress like we just haphazardly left gym class.”
“Your words wound me.” Danny said flatly, straightening himself, “Let's get this over with, shall we?”
As they made their way down the sidewalk, Elliot marinated in Danny’s choice of words. The weird feeling he had now at least partially acknowledged as guilt seeping its way back into the pit of his stomach, and this time actually spreading to his chest.
What the fuck? Elliot thought with a pout as he looked over at his...acquaintance, I deleted the video, I should feel better!
“You...didn’t have to come...if you didn’t want to.” Elliot said in a desperate attempt to absolve the god awful feeling pooling within him.
“And miss a chance to watch you try on clothes?” Dan said, sarcasm heavy in each word, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Elliot huffed in frustration, “I mean it. You can go if you want to, I just thought…”
I don’t know what the hell I thought! Or what I’m thinking! Elliot screamed internally, I just want to not be a bad person!
Danny watched, growing slightly concerned that his sociopathic acquaintance was heading in the direction of full-on mental breakdown.
“You’d want more creative control? Like...you know, I’m your press guy. Do you want more of an Anderson Cooper vibe or, uh...Between two ferns?” Elliot said, praying that if he got a superpower within the next twenty-four hours it was the ability to super strangle himself to death.
“Huh.” Danny said, his wheels turning, “I hadn’t thought about that…””
I can’t believe that worked, Elliot thought in shock, “Well, the sky’s the limit….or whatever.”
Elliot wasn’t sure if he hated this version of himself, or was merely unaccustomed to the feeling of...uncertainty. He was usually as sure of himself as he was full of himself, and here in the last forty-eight hours he had found himself….neither.
A part of him wanted to punch Danny, as he was clearly the cause of this bizarre inner turmoil. The louder part of Elliot, however, had been thrown head-first into some, bizarre quarter-life crisis. He had never considered that he wasn’t a good person, but as years of being a self-absorbed dick had flashed before his eyes, more than once, he realized he may not be the best. He certainly needed to be a better friend to Winn. And a better employee. And-
Danny waved his hand in front of Elliot’s face, “Hey, ground control to major Tom? You alright in there?”
Tell him now! Tell him you deleted the video and you’re sorry and you just want to be his friend and you’re an awful fucking person and taking that video wasn’t even the worst thing you’ve ever done. I don’t need the interview I can just work in fast food or-
Elliot sighed dramatically, “Sorry.”
“It’s cool. You, uh…” Danny’s eyebrows furrowed as he wrestled with his own inner demons, “You want to talk about it?”
Elliot internally kicked himself as he felt his stomach lurch and heart sink, “You’re not obligated to be so fucking nice to me.”
Elliot had wanted to sound much more intimidating, but even he could hear the sadness in his own voice.
Stupid. Just wait it out. Get your interview and then tell him it’s deleted. Win-win, Elliot.
“I know.” Danny responded after a pause, “But it's a lot like my whole, you know…”
Danny looked over at Elliot’s confused face and gestured vaguely to both of them.
“My side hustle, dumbass.” Danny said, clearly more amused than he was pretending not to be.
“Oh.” Elliot responded, “You’ve lost me.”
Danny rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to be nice, no one does. I also don’t have to go out of my way to try to improve anything. But if I don’t, I’m leaving that up to someone else. Which might not be fair, because I have the...uh...resources for positive change. So like….I want to try...if that makes sense.”
Danny cleared his throat nervously, “In the case of personal relationships or whatever, the same thought process applies. Clearly you’re working through some kind of shit and if I didn’t hear you out, I’m leaving that to someone who might not step up to the plate. Or, more likely, they hate you and don’t care that you’re a real person with feelings.”
“Whoever would accuse me of such a horrible thing?” Elliot quipped, clasping at his heart dramatically.
“Sure, play it off because you’re too emotionally stunted to have a real conversation, that’ll help you make friends.” Danny said flatly.
“Ouch. Okay.” Elliot said, trying to collect himself, “That’s fair…sorry.”
“We all have our hang ups,” Danny said, looking at him expectantly as they made it to the line of shops that lined downtown Starlight City, “So what’s your damage?”
Tell him you feel like a dick which is confusing because up until this point you thought you were awesome? Elliot thought.
No, dumbass, you can’t do that, He argued with himself, You’d have to tell him deleted the video and there goes your future career! You came to this stupid city for this! You can’t throw away your future career because some cute boy with a tight ass is nice to you!
Wait, Elliot continued to argue with himself, I didn’t realize we thought he had a tight ass?
You saw it the other day, don’t even front, Elliot.
That’s fair, Elliot. Very fair. But this isn’t about that! Your moral awakening is clouding your judgement!
“Danny boy,” Elliot said cautiously as he weighed his words and tried to get himself to stop arguing with...himself, “Let’s make a deal. I need a second to figure out how to word it, but I would be more than happy to talk about my existential crisis. But first I need an interview outfit.”
Danny snickered, “That’s fair. Take your time, man. I can tell this whole “human friendship” thing is foreign to you.”
Elliot felt another unfamiliar feeling take hold of his chest, though this one much more akin to the feeling of swallowing a bird.
“You...think we’re friends?”
Danny shrugged as they stepped into the first clothing store, “What can I say? I have a tendency to adopt lost causes.”
“Gee, thanks.” Ellliot said with a laugh, “That definitely explains Val.” And Starlight City...
“Valerie is an amazing soul who has never done anything wrong in her life, ever, and I love her.” Danny said defiantly, turning his nose up for dramatic effect.
While Danny had excitedly expressed that he’d like a Between two ferns vibe for his debut interview, it was becoming increasingly apparent that he either had no fashion sense or wanted Elliot Edison to look like a complete tool.
Honestly, at this point Elliot would believe either.
“I’m not wearing that.” Elliot said with frustration as Danny excitedly held up a button-up shirt with pastel hotdogs on it.
“Oh come on!” Danny said, grinning, “I thought I got to dress up my own personal Anderson Cooper!”
Elliot frowned to the point his mouth disappeared, “Yes, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in that.”
“You don’t know him.” Danny pouted, “He might.”
Elliot rolled his eyes, grabbing a soft blue shirt to offer as what he thought was compromise when he noticed a pair of strangers eyeing them.
He nodded towards the pair, a man and woman about their age, dressed in happy florals to match, “You know either of them?”
Danny turned and his body went rigid.
Concern washed over Elliot, “Danny?”
Danny looked at him, wide-eyed, “Can we get out of here?”
He sounds dejected, who are these people? “Yeah, of course.” Elliot replied without a moment’s hesitation, scanning the aisles for the quickest and most unnoticeable escape route. Elliot nodded towards his plotted course, taking a few steps forward before realizing that Danny hadn’t moved. Elliot walked back, knowing good and well that his face betrayed his bizarre mix of concern and confusion.
“Danny boy? Let’s go. There’s a sale next door anyways, it’s fine.” Elliot said, watching as Danny’s eyes didn’t leave their position as they watched the strangers.
Not sure what else to do, Elliot grabbed his hand and began to pull him through the aisles of ugly suits.
They had almost made it to the door when an unfamiliar voice beckoned.
“Daniel Chae!” An excited voice beamed, the girl it belonged to grinning, although the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Danny looked like a deer caught in headlights, his hand gripping Elliot’s for dear life, “Becca….Adam...Good to see you.”
Elliot squeezed his hand in what he hoped was taken as a gesture of reassurance.
The guy, Adam, extended a hand, “Nice to meet you, who’s your friend here?”
Elliot shook it cautiously, shooting Danny a sideways glance for approval, “Uh, Elliot. Elliot Edison.”
“This is,” Danny cleared his throat, getting his bearings together, “Adam and Rebecca Rosecroft. They’re uh…my brother’s friends.”
“Best friends.” The girl clarified, “And who’s this handsome little drink of water?”
Rebecca, or Becca, winked at Elliot.
Usually this was all he’d need for immediate friendship, but this girl had a rather unsettling aura about her. Perhaps it was the creepy twin thing she had going on with who Elliot assumed was her brother, all perfect and blonde, but he may have also been biased because of the horrified look in Danny’s eyes.
Before Elliot could respond, Danny scooted closer, “My boyfriend.” He said hurriedly, “We’re just out uh...doing gay stuff.”
Danny shot Elliot a look, Play along, dumbass.
Elliot felt his eyebrows knit in confusion, “I mean, yeah. Boyfriend. I’m his boyfriend.”
The twins shared a brief look of confusion.
“That’s nice!” Adam said awkwardly, “Congrats…?”
Becca wasn’t so convinced, “Yeah, how long have you two been dating? You only moved out a few months ago. February, I think?”
“Uh,” Danny flustered, looking at Elliot in panic, “Not that long? I mean, it feels like forever and an instant all at once, right...babe?”
Elliot was thankful he possessed the fortitude not to laugh, “It’s only been a month.” He turned to the twins, “He’s awful with remembering dates, bless his heart.”
Elliot could feel Danny relax slightly, thank god.
“Right.” Becca said, her voice oddly perky, “That’s our little Dan the Man.”
Well, that’s a stupid nickname. Elliot thought, judging these people more so than he already had been.
Adam hurriedly wrapped an arm around Becca’s shoulders, “It’s been nice catching up, but we should probably head back out, right sis? We have to go to that meeting later.”
“Does he know?” Becca asked as she shrugged off her brother’s arm, “That you’re basically disowned?” she turned to Elliot, “He’s practically destitute other than what his mommy gives him.”
Elliot felt Danny jostle.
“Of course he does, believe it or not people can like each other for reasons that aren’t self serving.” Danny said, his voice wavering, “So you can tell my brother to go fuck himself if he asks how I’m doing.”
“Honestly, I didn’t know he had money.” Elliot interjected in what must have been his first moment being too honest, “I just saw him one night in jeans and realized my life would be empty if I never touched this adorable little ass.”
Elliot would have smacked his butt for dramatic effect, but Danny had a death grip on his hand and this was already unbearably awkward for everyone involved.
“You’re really trying to sell the ‘fake boyfriend’ thing, huh?” Becca purred, “That’s cute. You’ve got a good friend here, Daniel.”
“And why exactly would you not believe we’re dating?” Elliot asked, now feeling genuine offense.
“I mean,” Becca shrugged nonchalantly, “I guess I just don’t see why anyone would be interested. I mean, look at him.”
“Becca.” Adam said sternly, trying to reign her in.
“Other than money, he’s worthless. Once his mom kicks it, he won’t even have that.”
Dan pulled at Elliot’s hand, “Come on, let’s just leave.”
Elliot leaned in to whisper, “I will, if you can convince me not to hit a woman.”
“What’s the matter, freak? Haven’t told your boyfriend about your mommy issues?” Becca said with a grin.
Elliot cleared his throat, “Look, sweetheart, if you could not act like the villain from a show on the CW for just a minute that would be great. The adults are speaking.”
“What?” She asked, either offended or not getting the joke enough to be.
“Look, it’s been lovely meeting you, really.” Elliot said with the nicest smile he could muster, “But if I wanted the input of some bitch in department store kitten heels I’d time travel and ask Bea Arthur what she thought of my hair.”
The girl blinked.
“Lovely meeting you, really. Send the Lannisters my regards.” Elliot winked, pulling Danny back down the sidewalk.
“They’re watching us walk away.” Danny said blankly as he tried to match Elliot’s pace.
“So? Fuck those guys, apparently I’m not the worst person you know.” Elliot said, surprised by just how angry they had made him, “As a matter of fact, do you trust me?”
Danny made a noise somewhere between a snort, a laugh, and choking, “What? No. Of course not.”
His humored response relieved Elliot, “Are they still looking?”
Elliot stopped while Danny turned to look.
“Yeah, but if you’re going to fake kiss me to fuck with them I’m gonna need you to sell it.” Danny said with an amused tone as he turned back around.
Elliot’s lips crashed into Danny’s, much more haphazardly than he had anticipated.
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