Madison

“Hello?”

With a sudden slip, I fell butt-first into the laundry hamper.

I legitimately wanted to die. Just once, I wanted a competent and understanding roommate. Just friggin once.

The doors flew open to reveal Autumn Archer.

Infierno.

Autumn Archer was perhaps one of the least intelligent students at Alistair. It was common knowledge that the only reason she wasn’t “asked to leave” was because she was the arts program. All she was was good marketing.

“I-I f-fell.” I uttered, embarrassment flooding through my body.

Her face fell. I’m not sure what kind of unfair assumptions she had previously made about me, but I could tell we were both equally happy about rooming assignments.

With a sigh, she set down her bags and looked me dead in the eye. Girls like Autumn scared me. She was erratic…unpredictable.

“How much of the closet are you going to use?”

“Wh-what?”

She rolled her eyes.

“The closet?”

“O-oh….uh…I d-dunno. H-how much d-d-do you want?”

“Split it in half?”

“S-sure.”

She violently ripped open a bag and began to make her bed.

…I had the feeling that I wouldn’t be talking much this year.

It was at this moment that I realized I was still stuck butt-first in a laundry hamper. The embarrassment came flooding back in waves. I began to try to think of ways to effectively and intelligently escape, but after 5 minutes I claimed futility.

Screw it.

With a crash, I fell violently onto the laminate floor. Autumn dismissed the noise with an eye roll, and I once again felt the embarrassment wash over me. Peeling myself out of the plastic laundry bin, I scooted forwards and jumped up.

“U-uh I gotta…uh..b-bathroom?” I yelled, bolting for the door. I couldn’t take any more of this awkward.

Completely misjudging the distance between myself and the door, I smacked face first into the dark oak and slid down towards the ground in shame. I kinda laid there for a while, not wanting to face the likely annoyed roommate.

“Damn…”

I turned around to find Autumn perched on her already made top bunk.

“…you’ve either got really bad luck or really bad coordination.”

I didn’t really know how to respond, so I just stared.

“Madison? You there?”

“U-uh…yeah. S-sorry.”

Picking myself up, I walked back to my bunk and hid my face in a book. I don’t think I could have been any more embarrassed at this point.

“So which is it?”

“S-sorry?”

“Uncoordinated or unlucky?”

I was so confused. What was going on? I ultimately decided that I just wouldn’t respond.

“Bueller?” She asked.

“Wh-what?”

I had never been more lost in my entire life.

“Y’know…Ferris Bueller’s day off?”

“What is th-that?”

“A movie. A classic movie. HOW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN FERRIS BUELLER?”

“Oh…I-I don’t watch m-movies.”

“What the-?!”

Silence fell.

“When is dinner?” She asked.

“S-seven-thirty. Why?”

Without warning, Autumn propelled herself off the bunk and landed with a thump on the ground next to me. She thrust her laptop in my face.

“Time for some education. Scoot over.”

Ayudame.