It smelled like fire then she fell uncouncious again. Crying and shouting, sounds of fighting. "You need to wake up". Children who cried for their parents. Sobbing. Then the sound of a drawn sword, slicing though clothes and flesh alike. A low bump as the body fell over and the sobbing stopped. "Wake up! Please! Please! Ple.."
A warm splash. Something heavy on my chest. Cant breathe. Cant...
Xia woke up, her pillow on the floor, her hair a mess. Her body covered with sweat and her heart endlessly pounding.
This dream. It wasnt the first time she dreamed it. But that wont make it any better nor did it feel familiar or "normal" in any way.
Atleast it was saturday and while she dressed herself with fresh clothes, trying to enttangle the brown wild mess her hair was, she couldnt stop thinking about it. Why could she never see what was happening around here? Was she blind? Well, she blacked out every now and then, but if she was able to hear them, why could she never open her eyes?
With a loud sigh, she sat down next to her mother in the kitchen. She knew that her mother was going to ask, thats why she sighed beforehand. "Yea i know. Im 16 years old and i dont know what to do with my future as soon as i finish school" still glancing, an eyebrow started to raise slightly. To be more accurate, the "Im-in-a-bad-mood-soon" started to raise slightly. "Yes and Im in my last year of it. Not much time, until I can bring shame and despair over my successful family" Xias white face grimaced, a part of her trying to be funny while the other part believed it. Her mother, Myu, sighed but softly hugged her daughter after she stood up. "You will do your best. I guess" afterwards the dishes drawed her attention, but the sparkle of sadness in her eyes didnt go unnoticed by Xia.
It wasnt like Xia was good at nothing. There was just nothing that caught her attention so much that she could start to like the thought, that she would have to spend the rest of her life with it. Doing the same thing. Over and over again. She finished her breakfast fast, as she wasnt the "i-enjoy-eating"-type and went to the living room. From there she could watch her father outside, caring for his plants and blooms. It was good to be here. Mother, demanding but also soft and defending, doing everything for the family. Father, being more relaxed and funny but was mostly outside because of his job and his garden. Sometimes it felt odd how those two people could fit together. He was so passionate about his job that he even did it in his freetime. His garden was his second home, well many times it felt like it was his first home. His oasis of tranquility. Thats what he called it atleast.
Her younger brother, John, looked completly different than her. His blue eyes, brown hair, that wide smile on his face. And then there was she, with her much paller skin, like her mother, brown eyes, brown long hair. Despite his love for food, he maintained a normal body, while Xia tends to be too skinny. She was okay with that, even if she worries her father with that from time to time. "You need to eat more or atleast stop doing so much physcial activities! Read a book for example." something her father said so many times since she could think. And her mother, if she heard it, would mostly reply with something like "Or learn. You can never learn enough"
She smiled and decided to not disturb her father in his work. She must admit, that she missed it badly to do something fun with him like they used to. While she was heading towards her room, she thought about what she should do. Xia was glad that her father didnt ask her questions what all this rush was about as she returned this week after a schoolday, slaming the door and babbling about dead. Sitting at her desk, avoiding this thoughts about the owl and the dream, she did something unusual - she tried to learn math.
~~~~~~
Three hours later, her brother returned from his sleepover. Quickly she decided to stop it right here, this learning thingy. All her thoughts about doing something productive washed away as she took her chance to pay her debts. The small girl jumped forwards, across her room and leaned quietly against the wall. They were still speaking. She opened the door, glanced to the stairs and then fast but silently moved over to her brothers room. Xia locked the door and took the key with her, pretending to be learning again.
"Give me the key! You old hag!" - "I dont have your key. Probably mom took it because you're too late at home or because you look like, as if you havent slept for days. And im not an old hag! Im only two years older than you!" She didnt notice that he was about to cry, that in fact, he wasnt so tired at all, but that he cried not so long ago. He jumped on her, his hands strong despite his age and she fell down to the floor. "What the..?" They entangled, exchanging insults and trying to hurt another, atleast a bit but not too much that mom or dad would ground them. But as oddly this "we-dont-mean-this-seriously-but-our-sister-brother-relationship-demands-a-fight" started, it got even weirder. She felt that he pushed himself more and more, his blows now really started to hurt and his tears dropping on her skin. As he, with all his force, pinned her on the floor, he screamed in anger and was about to slap her across her cheek - this moment, it felt so long and was so fast over, as she suddenly was over him, fixating him on the ground so he couldnt move one bit. Sure, she was older, but that was unusual. For both of them. They stared at each other, until John broke out of it and took the key from her limp hands.
As she heard the door slamming and it being locked, this time from the inside, only then was it like she was really back here in her room.
*Am I losing my mind? It clearly wasnt like the other times, something is wrong with him. I should talk to him. But.. no. He doesnt want to see me now. Fuck. Im an idiot.* Slowly she stood up, brushing her clothes *How did i manage that? I felt his emotions and then it fell over me. Like a curtain. Just poof, suddenly i was over him. We were both so surprised..* Xia placed the chair, who was knocked over in the fight, in his right place, as she suddenly saw little blood drops on the wooden floor. She looked at her limbs, stretched her body. Her eyes went wider as she realized that it couldnt be her blood, she thought how she could have managed that but soon as she got to the part where she didnt even know how she pinned him down, she slowly shoke her head - unable to find the source for his harm.
It was already night, but still she couldnt find any sleep. Now, someone would say, "wow that drives her crazy now?! A little bit of blood?" No. It was just so unusual. But not only that. Even now, 6 hours after it, she didnt hear one thing from outside her door. It was short after dinner, when John came home. So, it was normal that they didnt see their parents here on the second floor. But they didnt hear the fight? Maybe it wasnt so loud? Father was outside, mother used the vacuum cleaner? Or something? Xias head was spinning. *Anyway. Who cares? Atleast he didnt blame me for the fight, so i wont be grounded. But now should be enough time that i can speak with him and ask what the hell happened and why he cried* The skinny girl with her pajamas slowly opened her door, the floors light were dim but still blinding her. Her own room behind her in complete darkness, she went straight for her brothers door. "J-John?" - "yea?" her tone warm and unusual soft, his voice kinda harsh answered her. She wasnt very patient, so she just opened the door, stumbled in "Hey, uh, yea. You know. Dont know what happened but there was blood you were crying and i.. and you.. John?" first her voice was hard, trying to deceive herself that everything is really fine and all, but at the end it went doubtful and tuned a higher pitch.
"Can you help me? I couldnt help him. Ivan. I tried to, but then they managed to scratch me. Ivan screamed, i ran away. The police drawed near, two of them fled. the other one, Adrian, still punching him..." Dazed, as she was, she didnt listen any further. "Hey. Hey. Can you help me? Show me how you do this trick! I want to be as strong as you are! So i can defend my friends!" Now he sounded more like John, agile, brave. "But.. John. Where is Ivan now?" He blinked, his face covered once more in sadness "I ran home as fast as i could, fearing the police, I thought I better ask our parents to help him. They went there, dad texted me that Ivan is at the hospital now. It doesnt sound so bad, you know? I dont think he is in danger. Or is he, Xia?" His eyes went wide "Were are they? Its so silent." he added. - "They didnt text you?" - "No. Only that what I said." - "Oh." She looked at her phone, adding in a lower voice "No worries. Dad texted me. He decided to take mum to the cinema, trying to get something good of the shocking evening, you know? heheh.." Did she sound convincing? She doubted it. "Okay, great. Can you show me the trick now?" His eyes brightful "Sorry to destroy your now reclaimed happiness. But first, i dont know. and sec.." - "You're lying! That felt exactly like it, when I watch those ninjas! It was like feeling, not only seeing!" His excitement and his words made it even worse. "Im not lying. And its rude to interrupt. Dont behave like a child. You're already 14." Johns face dimmed down and she continued with a padding on his head "Now show me were they scratched you" The blue-eyed nodded, raising his right leg on his bed and showed her his knee. A bit above it, there was a clean cut. Not big, but it looked still awful and painful. "Still hurts hm?" - "Yea, mom looked after it, but I could use a new bandage. Our fight made it worse as it started to bleed again" He smirked by the word fight. "Good. I get you a new bandage and then we go to sleep yea? This old hag needs her beautysleep." - "Wont help anyway" he snickered and she hugged him.
After she helped him with the bandage, Xia cuddled up in her bed. Underneath her blanket, her glistening eyes went over the chat with her dad. Since a week they havent texted each other.
It felt like a eternity until she found sleep. Only to be welcomed by a weird dream again.
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