I gave Adam a tight hug. "I'm sorry." I muttered again. We joined our heads together as our tears fell. "It's alright. It's not your fault." He sniffed. "There's nothing you could have done." He pulled me closer. "I don't blame you at all." I cried harder. "But they killed him because of me!"
"Jamie, were you the one who planted the bomb?"He asked. "No." I said quietly. "Did you know there was a bomb in the car?" I shook my head. "No." I replied again. Adam gave me a small smile. "Then you couldn't do anything to stop it." He wiped my tears and sighed. "For a few days, I actually blamed you for what happened." He admitted. "You did?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Yeah, but then Lucas came in one day and told me what was going on outside world."
Saturday, March 31st,2017
I sat in my room and stared at the floor, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. My only sibling was gone... forever. I hate Jamie! She was the whole reason that Richard had died. I bet she's just having the best day ever. I pictured Jamie smiling and laughing with her siblings. It made me even angrier. I punched the wall. "I hate you, Jamie!" I yelled. Suddenly, someone opened the door. It was Lucas. "So, you hate my sister now?" He asked with a sigh. "What do you want?" I grunted.
He sat down on the floor. "Well, I need to talk to you... about Jamie." I clenched my fists. "What about her?!" I screamed. "My brother is dead and you want to talk about her?!" Lucas sighed once more. "Hear me out, ok? Now, what do you think Jamie is doing right now?" I squinted at him. "She's probably acting as if nothing had happened and smiling because she doesn't care that she was the one who caused the death of my sibling! My only family I had left!" I said in one breath.
Lucas shook his head. "Wrong. She just came back from the psychiatrist. This morning, she tried to commit suicide, thinking that she didn't deserved to live. It was her 12th time within 3 days." My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked quietly. He nodded his head. "Every time she said, 'Take my life and give back Richard. His brother is waiting.'" My eyes swelled with tears. "Why would she do that?" He shut his eyes tightly. "She wanted to bring Richard back to life." I covered my face to shield my guilt. "I..... I didn't know. And all this time, while I blamed her, she took it and made it worse." Lucas stood up and headed to the door. "Next time try and see it from the eyes of others." He shut the door. A few minutes later, I pushed myself to get up and see Jamie. I walked to her room and the door was sightly open. I looked in to see that Jamie was crying. Blood was on the floor. Her arm was decorated with cuts. I was horrified. "Adam, I'm sorry. I'll bring him back! I promise! I'm so sorry!" She sobbed. I felt so scared and guilty that I ran back to my room and locked the door, I wasn't worthy of seeing her face. Not after blaming her and she was in more pain than I was. "I'm... sorry as well Jamie." I whispered.
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