"Come on, Spirit. We had fun." A tall strong looking boy said standing in front of a much younger, scared looking cheerleader Paige Michaelchuck. "Fun? You call what you did to me fun?" Paige cried back at the older boy who had raped her nearly six months ago. On Degrassi: the next generation.

Charlie knew what that felt like, to have that feeling of hope, and hurt and anger. But this was something different although the same quote and feelings applied. Because once you were pulled down by someone and something like Charlie Radin had been its hard to get back up, and it hurts even more when you have the sudden feeling of getting pulled back down.

It was a dangerous feeling and for Charlie Radin that feeling came back in a minute, and nothing could stop her. She closed her eyes for a quick moment thinking that life was playing one of its dirty little tricks on her, again. Or she was having some cruel dream. Or just to take a minute and think about how she was never allowed what she wanted.

When she opened her eyes again he was still standing there. He was taller then she was, but not any taller then he had been when Charlie had last seen him. His hair was short, scruffy black hair with dangerous blue eyes. He was wearing jeans and a t shirt but the way he was standing in front of her you might have thought he was wearing a tuxedo.

Charlie Radin's heart was beating ten times quicker then usually and suddenly her palette was very dry. "I got to go." She finally said pressing her fingers against her forehead and turning around walking quickly towards the parking lot. "no wait." His voice called coming closer to her until a tight grip held around her wrist. Charlie looked behind her for a moment with a glare in her eye and he reluctantly let go.

"Sorry." He muttered as if he should have known better. "I just want to talk to you." She turned around to face the man, but continued to walk backwards towards her car hoping he would leave. "Good for you." She said forcefully, pleading not to loose her cool on the outside.

Because on the inside Charlie Radin was a hot pool of fire but at this moment ice was quickly falling in and melting while holding a strawberry daiquiri. She felt like jelly. Her strong and fire burning self was turning into a puddle of worthless junk, a person she never wanted to be again. But that's how he was made her feel, she couldn't help it.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as he still followed her as Charlie walked backwards facing him. "Summer break." He responded. "From what?" She replied sarcastically. "College." She grunted, he seemed so much older now then he had a year ago.

Although in grade years he was only a year ahead but in actuality he would be turning twenty next month, she remembered that. But he left her earlier. She remembered as she stopped walking now and was just looking up into his eyes. Ian Rowland had left town before every other college bound student did. He left before his high school career was over.

Charlie Radin had told her boyfriend Ian that she was pregnant in May of last year, three months into her pregnancy. Two weeks before that she lost her close friend Amanda Hilfiger. And that same week, her relationship with her best fiend Kale Manning changed. And it would be two and a half months later in which she had her abortion.

But it was only May 7th that Ian Rowland had left their little town. Exactly six days after his girlfriend Charlie told him she was pregnant with his baby. So how he was in college, baffled her. And now it was only dawning on her, that it was nearly exactly a year ago in which this all happened.

"Can we go somewhere?" Ian asked. And strangely enough, even to Charlie's own surprise she thought about it. "Charlie" A familiar voice called a couple feet away. She and Ian looked towards the voice. "is every thing alright?" Kale continued. "yeah." She mumbled walking over to the car door as Kale looked at Ian slightly annoyed.

"Kale" Ian said coldly looking at the two of the standing side by side. Kale Manning ignored his existence and got into the car as did Charlie. Charlie sat her hands on the ten and two of the steering wheel and arched her eyes down at the dashboard of the car, yet she could still see Ian's body leaning against the brick wall in front of them. "Who's that?" Lauren questioned after a few moments in quiet.

But still Charlie Radin stayed still taking these last few breathes. She slowly turned her head to the right and met eyes with Kale. She attempted to smile and somehow in this strange and heart wrenching last few moments Kale kissed her and Charlie happily kissed him back.

"I am back here." Lauren Manning spoke again. Charlie smiled again, weakly, but it was meant to be sincere. As she looked outside of the windshield once again at the brick wall Ian Rowland had now vanished, as if he never existed. Charlie Radin pulled slowly out of the now mostly empty student parking lot and drove down the quiet main road towards the Manning's household.

She stopped abruptly holding in all the feelings she was having inside of her, afraid to let anyone know. Because according to Charlie, all that Kale knew was that Ian left and broke her heart, but maybe deep down she knew the truth that Kale knew everything but she couldn't face that realism, especially not now, in these circumstances.

"yeah… I'm going Kale." Lauren said as the car stopped further into the driveway of Kale and Lauren's house. She knocked her backpack hard against his seat making it bump against his back hard; she smiled as she nearly skipped up the driveway and into the house.

Kale opened his mouth but the harsh feelings and anger she was holding inside of herself barked out before Charlie could think. "I don't want to talk about him." "Okay… sorry." Kale said softly. "No, don't be." Charlie replied sorrowfully. "it's not you." Kale nodded once more. Charlie took another deep breath afraid to say something foolish. "Kale… I'll call you later, is that okay?" Charlie asked sweetly, the voice that she had come to be heard as of late.

"Yeah, Chase." He said looking at her oddly as if he could understand what she was thinking from just a look, which she knew just as well as he that he could. And without causing too much suspicion she leaned across the seat and wrapped her arms around Kale hugging him tightly to her body. Which seemed so much less then what they had been caught doing the girls bathroom earlier that day, but in ways it was just as sexual.

But this hug relaxed Charlie slightly and even made her heart beat at a normal reluctantly pulled away as he tightened his body around Charlie's. "I'll see you later." He said with a smile as he got out of the car dragging his backpack behind him. It wasn't long before Charlie Radin was driving away again in her Buick.

Inside of the Manning household was quiet as Kale walked in. His car was sitting out in the driveway being held up in midair by stands waiting for his dad to actually put a wrench and hammer to use. But now his over protective father was at work and his sister was sitting upstairs in her room, the music blasting from the stereo equipment.

He walked up stairs slowly a little whirl wind by the day. And although as he thought about the girl who was suppose to be his best friend, Charlie Radin, but now she was his girlfriend. Although he knew too well to toss around that term.

The music blasted through the hall louder as Kale walked down it remembering Ian's face, his stance and his obtuse behavior. He wanted to make him go away, permantly. But everyone knew Kale Manning wouldn't do that.

His fist rose in the air and was hitting his younger sisters door, when there was no answer or lowering of the anger girl rock music her barged in. "hey!" she cried over the loud music. He stammered through the messy room, Lauren's clothes were laying across the room covering most of the rug, garbage was pilling up in the corner covering over the garbage bin and the bed was now sheet less.

Kale walked over to the stereo equipment sitting on an empty desk and hit the button blowing the whole house to silence. "Jesus, Kale." Lauren sulked. "Silence child." He said sarcastically walking towards the hall. "That was the guy who got her pregnant." She continued with a kind and gentle face for one and a sweet voice. "Wasn't it?"

Kale was standing in the doorway by now and slowly turned around looking at his sister. "Yes. Lauren. What do you want to make out of it now." He said solemnly. "Nothing, honestly." It was like she knew, everything he never wanted her too. "Do you love Charlie?" She asked still in her kind voice. "It takes more then a day to know." She smiled. "But you've had sixteen years to find out." She smirked now, her tones of sarcasm returning. "Do your homework." He said shaking his head as he closed the door behind him.

While Charlie was pulling into her own driveway not to much farther down the street her calm was giving in. The strength she was using to hold back all her feelings, perhaps mostly anger was leaving her with out energy. She didn't understand what he was doing here draining her brain power. But the time she was walking up the steps she was growing with anger and slammed the front door shut letting time slips of anger out.

"Honey!" Mrs. Radin called from the kitchen stool as she sat alone eating a sandwich that Radin usually made for her in the morning, yet Charlie questioned how it ever got made. "Hi mom." She murmured under her breath. But as she continued walking through the house, towards the stairs Charlie's mother called out to her again.

"How was your day?" And she almost laughed. Because it could have been a good day, a wonderfully life changing day but in a few mere five minutes it became life changing in a different way and earth shattering. "Fine, mom." "Charlie." Mrs. Radin said again as her daughter turned around.

"Isn't Ra- Kevin home?" Charlie complained angrily. "Well no." Mrs. Radin said sadly. "I was going to ask you where…" She continued but Charlie Radin cut her off. "I don't know where he is. No." Charlie looked at her mother for a moment longer just sitting there looking down at her sandwich, upset because god forbid her lovely Kevin Radin wasn't home. This wasn't making Charlie's mood any better. "I've got homework." She grunted before running up the stairs and slamming that door as well.

Charlie almost had the urge to cry, she hardly ever did this. And now in the state of mood and nostalgic tones she had she remembered the last time she cried. It was late July and the night after she had her abortion, she sat in her room alone for almost a week and for the week she cried and cried and cried. And then begged herself never to do it again.

So Charlie knew what it felt like to be alone and unhappy and taken advantage of. She knew what it was like to be loosing a battle that was lost long ago. She knew what it was like to have everything go right then have it all go so wrong. To have the past come back to a place he never belonged in the first place. Charlie Radin knew what it was like to think back to every move she made and wonder if she just changed it if things would be better. She knew what it was like to not want to cry, to promise herself she wouldn't and then do it. Because that's what she was doing, sitting in front of her bedroom door crying, soft tears rolling down her eyes.

It was soft and subtle so even she could convince herself it wasn't true. Because even though her tears still streamed she leaned over grabbed her clicker and turned on the television staring at it for support, for answer. Then her cell phone rang and she prayed it was the god she didn't believe existed telling her that she was ready to be taken now, and he was just calling to tell her that the devil would be there soon to bring her to a nice very hot topical place called Hell.