“Is that not McCarthy’s flag on that ship?” Isum asked standing to the left of me as the boat came into closer view. I put my hands on the side of the boat, looking out to the ocean as the boat got bigger as it advanced. The captain, to the right of me, pointed a gold colored telescope I didn't realize he had out towards the ship. He put the telescope down and seemed to realize something.

“Jesus, I haven't seen him in years.” The Captain says still staring off at the ship in the distance. “It could be nice to catch up, well, that is if he wants to be on peaceful turns.” Isum looked over me to the captain.

“Sir, what would you like us to do?” he asked, bearing a serious face. The captain thought for a moment while he contracts the telescope and puts it into his pocket.

“Lets hold off for a bit, but” his face suddenly became contorted with a message, show no mercy.

“the moment they show signs of hostility, we will not hold back.” Chills go up my spine and I can already feel the blood spatter dripping down my body. There was just something about the way he said it that made me aware that his words were ones he would not hesitate to follow through with. I've never been so terrified. This man, this man that right now, is so bone chillingly scary, why did I feel those things for him. Why do I feel these things for him. There's something wrong with me, to feel this way for someone who I know, has killed, and will continue to kill. How could I have let myself get so caught up in the moment that I forgot what these people have done, and will continue to do.

“Sebastian, are you alright?” I look up to find the captain is now right in front of me, I could practically feel his body heat. I jerk back, stumbling a bit, my back hitting Isum. I move off Isum and start to fidget, making sure to look anywhere but at the capitain.

“Um, ya, I'm fine, I just, got distracted, I uh, think I should go help Hisato, he uh, probably needs, help, so, um, i'll go now.” I quickly turn and start to walk towards the stairs that lead down to the kitchen. But before I could get out of the Captains reach I felt a strong hand wrap itself around my arm and I was jerked back. I looked up to see the captain. His eyes said concern but I couldn't help but still be scared after seeing the kind of face he made only moments before.

I don't know what I was expecting, it's not like I forgot that he is a pirate, I'm on a pirate ship after all. So what the hell is wrong with me? I know that Isum has probably killed people, but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it bothers me to know the Captain has. I just, I need time to think. I barely know him but somehow I find myself already this involved, I need this to pause. I just want to stay away from him for now. I feel the Captain’s grip tighten, its starts to hurt a little. His eyes, why is he looking at me like that? What is it? This feeling he's showing? Pity? No, I don't think so. Sadness? Maybe, but there's something else, I don't understand. It gets tighter again.

“Ow!” He lets go quickly, as if not realizing he was tightening his grip. I rub where he was just grabbing.

“I… I'm sorry.” He said, I can see it this time, what he's feeling. Regret. Isum comes up from behind him and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Captain, we need to let the crew know we are not going to fire right away, otherwise this could get ugly without it needing to be.” The captain seems to only half listen to Isum’s words, his eyes still on me. Isume waits a bit before speaking again. I start to get uncomfortable under his gaze but feel trapped by his sad looking eyes. “Captain…” Isum said again. The captain responded this time, still looking at me while he does.

“Alright, I'll go let the men know below deck,” I flinch, not wanting him to follow me down. The whole point was for me to get away from him for a bit. I think he notices this. “is where you should go Isum, I will tell the men above dec. I take a sigh of relief which I think he also sees because I find him now frowning with a troubled face before turning around to walk towards some other crew members. Isum goes after him and starts to talk to him. I almost fall over with how terrifying that was.

“God damn it!” I say between clenched teeth and pull on the sleeve that's clearly too big for me. I look down at the shirt, having completely forgot about it. Oh yeah, I guess this is his. Huh, this smell, I think its his too. I find myself feeling calm again, looking down at the shirt, but then I notice, a big reddish purple splotch. I pull down the shirt further and see more below my collar bone. I pull up the shirt quickly. God damn it. I don't even know how far up these go or how I could possibly hide them. I once again tighten the thin string on the shirt to close it as much as possible. I just need to distract myself. I use to cook when I lived on the farm, though it's been a while I'm sure I can help. I turn around and head towards the stairs. I look at my feet while I hurry down, just wanting to distract myself as quickly as possible before I tear myself apart inside.

I bump into something as I reach about mid way down the steps. It smells awful. I look up to see the one person I was hoping I could avoid the most on this ship, more than even the captain right now. They looked down at me with a disgusting smile, the rotting teeth all showing clearly. I start to shake, finding myself terrified again. Why am I so scared all the time on this fucking ship? Then again, I guess it's justified, everyone here has killed, and definitely more than once. It's a ship that harbours only killers. So what the hell does that mean for me? The only person here who has not killed anyone?

“Well hello there.” I take a step back, swallowing hard, as this man takes a step forward. God damn it, all I wanted was a break, so why am I now standing here, in front of this person of all people?

Schmeed.