6 years ago

Alex

It’s official. I’m hopelessly in love with my best friend, Marcus Bischon. Well, that’s not exactly anything new. I’ve known since 9th grade. Even worse, I know he’s gay. He doesn’t know that I’m gay. What are the odds? I think I’d be able to deal better if he was straight. Knowing that there’s a tiny little speck of hope just makes it even worse. I know he doesn’t feel the same way.

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Marcus

It’s so unfair. Out of everyone, why did I have to fall in love with Alex Falco? Why him? Why my best friend? The worst part is that he’s completely straight. Since 9th grade, I’ve tried to repress my feelings, but they're still there. If only he felt the same way.

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Alex

Sitting in my room Friday night, I get a text from Marcus.

Marcus: what’s up?

Me: Nm

Me: Watching Netflix and obsessively checking my email to see if I got into UF.

Marcus: it’s only the beginning of March

Marcus: chilllll. you’ll find out soon

Me: I know. What’s up with you?

I lock my phone when he doesn’t answer and go back to watching Netflix. I keep hitting the “Get Mail” button on my email, but I don’t get anything. Marcus is lucky. He didn’t apply to any colleges. He’s just planning on getting a job in the nearest city, Gainesville, and trying to pursue his art career. I applied for basically all the other colleges in Florida, but I want to get into UF the most. Its close to where I live now, and it has a good law program. My phone buzzes and it startles me from my thoughts.

Marcus: hey, do you want to hang out tomorrow?

He asks, completely ignoring my last text. I shouldn’t. I have so much work to do. But I can hear Marcus’ voice in my head going, C’mon Alex, live a little! Push yourself to have fun!

Me: Sure. What do you want to do?

Marcus: i was thinking that a big group of us could hang out at this park

Marcus: it’s supposed to be really nice

Marcus: has a nature trail and everything

A big group, huh? I scold myself for being disappointed. What else would I expect? It’d be weird if just the two of us hung out.

Me: Sounds fun. You’re driving. What time should I be at your house?

Marcus: why do i always have to drive???

Me: Cuz I’m a horrible driver. You were there when I totaled the car in a parking lot, remember?

Marcus: omg how could i forget that?!?!?

Marcus: fair point, i’m driving

Marcus: be here @ 11

Me: Kk. See you tomorrow.

Marcus: bye!

I lock my phone and plug it in to charge. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face when I think about spending all day with him tomorrow. God help me, I am head over heels.

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Marcus

I back my dad’s convertible out of the garage slowly. He’d kill me if I got so much as a speck of dust on it. After I safely park in the driveway, I push a button and the top retracts slowly. I know Alex loves riding with the windows open so I decided to take the convertible. Even though I’m not allowed to. I’m so grounded when I get back home. I know how happy this will make Alex though, so it’s worth it.

I may have lied. It’s a small lie, so it’s fine. But...no one else is coming. I’d invited Alex first, and everyone else that I invited said they couldn’t make it. I was too lazy to tell him this morning, and honestly I was afraid that he wouldn’t want to come if he knew it was just the two of us. So, it’s just going to be Alex and I. I packed a picnic basket full of his favorite foods and a big towel so we won’t have to sit on the grass.

Like clockwork, I see Alex emerge from his house at precisely 11am. He’s wearing a blue tank top, cargo shorts, and Ray Bans. His hair is soft and falling in his face, and I have to resist the urge to reach up and push it away from his face.

“Hi!” he waves, walking over to the passenger side of the car.

“Hello there stranger,” I respond, my lips quirking up at the corner. I can’t help but smile when I’m around Alex. It’s impossible not to. He gets in and sits down in the seat, looking at the dashboard and the untouched white leather.

“Damn, your parents let you take the convertible?” Alex questions.

Smirking, I shake my head and answer,

“Nope.” I glance over and I see him beaming at me. I start backing out of the driveway. Alex chuckles.

“Only you,” he says, his alight with mischief.

“Only me,” I reply.

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Alex

“You can’t be serious!” I fume as we’re sitting at a stop light, “Empire Strikes Back is not better than A New Hope!” Marcus snorts, knowing he’ll never win this argument.

“I’m just saying, I like it better than A New Hope. It has the most iconic line in the whole franchise. And that line is basically the biggest plot twist in Sci-Fi history,” he retorts. I shake my head.

“Nope. Not hearing it. A New Hope is just simply, better,” I contradict. I see him laughing at me. We must’ve had this arguement so many times over the course of our friendship. Not just over those exact movies, but Sci-Fi movies in general. I like Predator better than Alien. Marcus highly disagrees.

“Are you done arguing with me?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow, “Will you finally admit defeat?”

“I’ll never join the dark side,” Marcus answers, sounding completely serious.

“We have cookies,” I reply. He rolls his eyes at that. I pull out my phone from my shorts pocket, checking the time. It’s 11:30.

“Hey, how much longer till we get there?” I inquire. I see the light turn green and the car moves forward.

“Um, about t-”

CRASH

The world is spinning, spinning, spinning. I can’t focus on anything. Everything I see is a blur.

Is that me screaming?

Did we stop moving?

If we did, why is everything still spinning?

Marcus. Is he okay? Am I okay? I look up, past the cracked windshield, and see the hood of the car smashed in, the metal scrunched up to the left. A trail of smoke is curling in the air, and it finally registers in my brain; this is a car crash. I hear a noise next to me, and turn my head gently to the left.

“Marcus?” I rasp out. He’s furiously trying to unbuckle my seatbelt. When he hears me speak, his eyes widen and I can see that they’re red and puffy from crying.

“Oh thank God!” he sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” I reply, my speech slurring. I can feel unconsciousness trying to take over me. He cradles my head in both his hands,

“No, no, no, c’mon Alex. C’mon, stay with me,” he croaks out, clearly hysterical.

I try to tell him that it’s okay, that I’m okay, but before I can, I black out.

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Marcus

I’m sitting at Alex’s bedside in the hospital, praying that he’ll be okay. About an hour’s passed since the crash, and I can’t stop crying.

The light turned green, so I went. Some asshole decided they couldn’t wait, and they ran a red light, smashing into the passenger side of the car.

The EMTs said he’s lucky to be alive. 6 inches to the left, and the car would’ve directly hit him instead of hitting the front like it luckily did. He has a minor head wound, a few bruised ribs, and a broken ankle.

I gingerly pick up his hand and enclose it around mine, not caring what anyone sees, what anyone thinks. Life’s too short. I get that now. I press a soft kiss to his knuckles and whisper,

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” My voice cracks at the end of the sentence as a wave of sobs wrack my body.

“I can’t imagine life without you.” I close my eyes and just...let it out. The secret I’ve had to keep for four years.

“I love you Alex. So...so much. I...I’ve wanted to tell you that for so long now.” My lungs hiccup, gasping for air. “I’m sorry.”

“I love you too.”

I look up, and there’s Alex, smiling down at me, tears pooling in his eyes.

I jump up and hug him (gently). As much as I try not to, I end up crying into his shoulder.

“Thank God you’re okay,” I manage to say through my tears. I feel Alex let out a little huff of laughter.

“Thank God you’re okay,” he retorts. Of course, his humor is still sharp, even after a near death experience.

I pull away to look at him, my hands instinctively smoothing his hair away from his face.

“I meant what I said you know,” I divulge, my heart hammering in my ears.

His eyes crinkle at the corners as his smile widens. That only happens when he’s really happy. He reaches up and places his hand over mine.

“I meant what I said too.”

I love you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex

I love you too.

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