Episode 1

After he walked into my life I haven´t really known what I was thinking. What am I going to say, how am i going to react? Everything has changed and I have no one to talk to.

The feeling when everything is like a big knot that no one can tie up. Is this how it felt to be in love for the first time? No one is going to accept me and he will never want to talk to me again if I confess. My childhood friend that have always been close to me, but never did I think that feelings like these would come. I went back and forth mumbling to myself.

The next morning I woke up with the air pumped out of my brain. My stomach struggled to the fullest to not blow up. I do not exist in this world anymore, the thoughts had moved north along with my life force. Dragging my body down the stairs and my head full of impossible thoughts. The thought about being accepted without problems goes around without me getting a hold of it. Am I supposed to lie about it? Is he going to notice that something is wrong as usual? I fetched a sandwich from the fridge when I walked towards the hallway. Matthew is supposed to pick me up soon.       

How should i meet him..? 

When i put my shoes on I saw a shadow walking past the window. I´m pressed down to the floor by all the thoughts. He´s going to hate me, he will never look at me again. Without him my life is nothing. I get up from the floor and open the door to meet his smile.

- Jeremy, are you done?

He has a t- shirt on but it looks like he still thinks it´s too hot. I nod while I pick up my bag from the floor and close the door. He immediately starts to talk about the weekend´s news. Another girl he got and another he dissed. I´ve called him a player many times but he never cares. But it doesn´t really bother me because he still treats me like his right hand.