When I got the text that my sisters are home, I was at first elated, but then I saw Emerald’s face fall and felt immediately guilty. ‘But, yeah, take a raincheck’? Really? Ugh, what a poor word choice. I can never say the exact right thing when I’m with her. It’s frustrating to see her cute smirk lift when I stumble. Cute? I shake my head while walking to my house. Emerald is a lot of things but ‘cute’ isn’t one of them.
As I enter the house I am immediately bombarded by the two gremlins I call siblings. “ROSE!!!!!!!” They say in chorus. “Rose I missed you quite a lot.” Scottie admits, trying to disentangle herself from Teresa and I while Teresa almost has a fit of happiness. I hold on tighter. “ROSIE ROSE!!!!!! I heard from a little birdie (She whispers, “MOM”) That you and Emmie (She waggles her eyebrows here and I blush) are talking again!!!!!” I look at mom and give her a glare. She shrugs innocently and goes back to her book. Fine then. I trudge to the kitchen with my two little sisters at my legs and start making sandwiches for all of us while they chatter away. “So this girl named Tessa is really cute right? Anyways-” Scottie is interrupted by Teresa when she decides to butt in, “I THOUGHT MOM SAID WE COULDN’T HAVE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS UNTIL WE’RE THIRTY” Scottie glares at her sister, unamused. “Well, since I am much more mature than you, I can look at cute girls all I want.” Teresa struggles for a counter. I happily comply, “You’re still a kid, Scottie, there’s no doubt about that.”
Both of them look at eachother and then Scottie says, “I didn’t know you were an exception to this rule, Rose.” A light goes off in my head and I quickly look away to my work. “I have no idea what you mean and if you continue this interrogation I won’t make any sandwiches for either of you.” This was a lie, of course. I would make them irregardless. They pouted and resigned themselves to not talking about it. That doesn’t mean they didn’t talk about their lives though. “So this one kid was bullying my new friend and I was like POW and KACHOW!! I think he went home crying.” Scottie smiles fondly at her siblings escapades. “It’s true, I saw it all.” She chirps while I give her a pb&j. “Did you get caught?” Mom says, interested. “Mom! That’s not what you should be asking here.” I scowl. “You should’ve grabbed the friend and ran.” Teresa looks at me, astonished, “That’s the wimpy way out!!! I’d be laughed out of school!” Scottie nods in agreement but I only got more heated. “What if you got caught? You’re scholarship students, you would’ve been chucked out in a second!” I’m getting very angry quite quickly. Usually I’d be fine with their antics and they might even amuse me once in awhile. Not today though. With my past coming at me full force, I’m on edge. Mom looks at me concerned, “Dear, they’re too smart to be caught. Don’t you think you’re over reacting?” Maybe. But hell if I’m going to admit it. I excuse myself quickly and stomp upstairs, feeling enormously guilty but too prideful to apologize. Also a little angry that mom took their side. I flop onto my bed and sift through some homework I didn't get done earlier. It's a calming experience, so much so that I go to bed right after.
I wake up at about one am for a midnight snack to grab a cookie from the secret (not so secret) jar mom has. As I munch on it as I pass the couch where all the rest of my family members are, fast asleep in mom’s arms. Feeling a bit guilty, I throw a blanket onto them. I promise myself to apologize about scolding Teresa later. I pause, at the doorway, taking in the sight of my Mom and siblings, and smile a tired, content smile. I stumble sleepily upstairs and fall asleep, this time for good.
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I call my driver and he picks me up promptly with the image of Rose fading from my mind. I look on the outside into a rose garden. I smirk and think of how she would react if I gave her one. “Well you sure look happy.” I skill my face into neutrality and see my father at the window. “Yes.” I concede. Better to agree with him and save the effort of arguing. “Might want to tell me why?” I inwardly cringe. He never just casually wants to know something about my life. He needs to know to have something of leverage. He thinks he can waltz in at any time and just pretend everything’s alright. mother’s the same way, maybe even worse. I won’t let him have this, though. “Why would I let you know?” I snap, and he then sneers, “You make this way harder than it has to be, Emerald.” I scoff and look out the window. “Driver. Take me to the Bellingham Library please.” I roll up the window and look straight ahead.
No use leading him on when there’s no room for me in his head or his heart.
As I walk out of the car and into the library, the familiar scent of coffee and books hit me. This place had always been like a home away from the place I live. I instantly break into a smile when I see Jack right in front of me, manning the cashier. “Wow. The famous Emerald.” He puts a hand over his chest delicately, “In my humble shop? What an honor.” I snort and put my elbows on the table. “Had to get away. I’m back from that prison of a boarding school. You still have those oh so delightful teenage romance books?” He smirks, “One of these days you’ll admit that you actually like them and that you’re not just reading them because they’re cringey. I will be there, with a camera. Broadcasting to live t.v.” I laugh. “You’ll never get me alive, sucker.” It’s just like old times, before I went away.
He sips his coffee. “Yeah yeah, sure. I might have some. Just stay there.” He digs around in the shop and I have a moment to take the place in. It’s a small building with an air of coziness attached to it like a card on a christmas gift. Books are stacked to the ceiling neatly, and I sigh in content at the sight of everything. The wooden walls are almost completely covered in bookshelves and I smile. It looks like home. I grin at the memories of me helping the customers, I used to help around the place here and there, never really working a ton since I was too young to be a full fledged employee.
I once accidently let it slip to father and mother once that I loved it here and they used it as leverage more than once to get me to do things for them. Stupid things like parties, parades, and sucking up to influential people. I don’t ever tell them about anything nowadays. “So, how was boarding school?” Jack looks at me expectantly with cheesy romance books in his hands. “It almost killed me” I say theatrically. He gives me a warm smile, “Well, if you ever need to crash at my place just call. I have the same phone number.” I look at the kind, smart boy that I see as my brother and I sincerely throw on a grin that could out dazzle the stars. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
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I look up to the house full of drunk teenagers and sigh. This wasn’t my ideal Saturday night hangout, but I gotta roll with the punches these days. I smooth down the high skirt nervously as I spot Emerald coming out of her car a block away. She’s dressed in jeans and a blouse that is blue and light. On any other person the outfit would be plain, but on her it’s stunning. “Shall we go in?” I loop my arm around hers and follow her into the party. As soon as I go into the house I feel uncomfortable, surrounded by sweat and drunken teenagers; I look up at Emerald she gives me a reassuring smile. “Listen, they’ll be watching me so you can go in and snoop around for the tapes.” She nods in agreement and I go to the dancefloor. I physically make myself loosen up and I lose myself in the music as time flies by. I feel a pressure on my shoulder and turn to see Kat, grinning. “Nice of you to show up. Here.” She hands me a red cup, and knowing what’s on the line if I don’t obey her, I take a sip. It tastes...nice. I take another, bigger sip cautiously. She laughs. It’s a very pretty laugh, I have to admit. “First time ever taking beer?” I nod taking in her attire. God, why does she have to be so pretty and yet so evil? Someone calls her to the back and she pauses, Apparently deciding something. Before I know it she leans in and kisses me softly. It was rushed and yet I was paralyzed all the same. She turns her heel and dashes to whoever called her name. I stand there, stunned. A pretty girl just kissed me? Holy fucking shit. Football players and cheerleaders miles around would kill a man to kiss Kat Trainer, and while was it a good one, for some reason I felt guilty. The reason came to me with a pained smile and pink hair. “Having fun?” She asks, clearly knowing that at this moment? Not so much. “Uh. That. Uhm.” She stops looking so pained for a second to laugh. “What? Kat got your tongue?” The joke was so bad that I have to laugh too. I take a big gulp of the beer, almost chugging it, and start to feel warm and tired. I glance at the clock and almost gasp. I’ve been dancing for over a half an hour? What the hell? I sway on my feet as Emerald takes the red cup out of my hand, frowning. “Beer? really?” She looks up at me and takes my arm, steadying me. “God, you’re a lightweight. Lets sit down.” She leads me to an empty couch in a secluded room and I plop down immediately. She follows suit and I lean into her warmth. I’ll curse myself later for falling asleep in her arms.
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The world spins around me as I hold her. I feel like the luckiest girl alive in this run down frat party as I feel her normal pulse against my erratic one. She feels warm, like hot chocolate on a winter’s hail. I feel the thrum of music around me dimly, and start to doze off too.
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