For how much are you supposed to help a friend?

For how much should you sacrifice yourself to make a friend happy?

Lend a helping hand to your friends, aid them during their bad times. That way, you'd be considered as a true friend.

People always throw those two words around.

'True friend'

You are not a true friend if you don't stay by them during the dark times, you're not a true friend if you don't tell them when they're doing something bad, you're not a true friend if you don't respect their feelings.

Pretty understandable right? Of course, people would want a friend like that. Someone who's always there for you when you need them. Heck, that's what we do to our friends so we must be being a true friend to them, right?

As much as we want that to be true, it is not. Constantly telling a vegetarian friend to eat meat because it's better for them? Yes, you are being honest with them but you're not respecting their feelings.

You see what I mean here? Being honest and respecting one's feelings is a huge complicated mess. There isn't only black and white but an enormous amount of grey colors. What you think is tactful and helpful for you is not necessarily what your friend is tactful and helpful.

So why are we projecting these thoughts about being a true friend to the world instead of communicating it privately with a friend about how we want to be treated?

It's unimaginable how those two simple words could impact people who do want to please their friends. Does that mean if they don't do what you say is a true friend, it means you think of them as not true friends?

Right now, I am struggling with helping a friend. She's been experiencing dark times for a few years.

I care for her well-being and I want her to live a better life but whenever I talk to her, I get anxious. I get this nervous persistent feeling that I must be doing something wrong. Whenever I express my feelings, my experiences and little victories, she would always argue against it or drive the conversation back to herself, leaving me feeling unheard and unappreciated.

I would tell her about the things I hate but from time to time, she would accidentally let it slip and apologize for not remembering what I said that irked me.

She is afraid of losing my affection, or anyone else's affection for that matter, and she would try her hardest to pull you back in. She doesn't show affection to you but would rather tell you compliments about other people. Sometimes I wonder if she is purposely trying to seem unaware of what she's doing.

In that case, is it worth it to sacrifice yourself for a friend? Won't it be better to cut off toxicity and find the people who would appreciate your worth and openly push you up?

There are many cases similar to mine and I tell you, if you're being dragged down to the darkness with them, please distance yourself from them.