Jude had received a text from Leo telling him he might come back home late at night while he was talking with Neil. Again, Jude thought. He sighed and looked at the birds chirping and hopping on the tree branches through the window of his classroom. When he looked at his phone earlier, he saw it was time for him to go to his French art class. He thought he had almost finished his project, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. His inspiration usually came from Leo, but because he had been so distant lately, Jude started to doubt that what he was doing was really any good.

Though his teacher and a few other classmates had praised his painting skills, drawing had no meaning for him if Leo wasn’t even there to see it. Sighing again, he turned back to face his canvas, dipping his brush into the black paint and drew a wide cross across his painting. He desperately needed to change his thoughts. He needed a drink. Soon. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted the rest of the band to ask them if they were up for a drink out of the campus in the evening. Dan didn’t take long to reply that he was always up for a drink with a good friend, and Ash’s and Tom’s answers were similar.

Jude told them to meet him at the ‘usual bar’ at six, then packed his tools as the lecturer dismissed them. He stood from his stool and took his canvas to throw it away. He’d have to start it all over again and finish it before the end of the month. Intending to leave the classroom with the others, his teacher however stopped him from doing so.

“Jude, you’re dissatisfied with your work again?” she asked.

He nodded. “I thought it was good enough, but I don’t like it after all.” he smiled nervously while scratching his cheek.

Miss Henri touched his shoulder gently and smiled at him. “Alright, but next time, try to finish your project please. You are very talented you know, your paintings can even be exposed at an art gallery! Think about it.”

“Yes ma’am.” he replied quietly while lowering his head and leaving.

He really liked her, she was a nice professor and had always supported him. She was young, but she reminded him of his mother who had passed away a few years back, especially when she smiled at him like that. Jude really missed his mother. He would always remember her gentle touch and the way she praised him when he had good grades at school. He would always remember the taste of her soups she would cook for him when he had colds. He would always remember the warmth of her body when she took him into her protective arms to comfort him after he had a nightmare when he was a kid. Yes, he would always remember her, even after so many years…

He tugged at his scarf more by habit than by necessity while he was walking towards the cafeteria, where he had left Neil. However, when he arrived there, the blonde boy had already left. Weird, they had planned on eating together with Shawn… Where could the two of them be?

Back to Shawn and Neil

An hour before Jude came back to the cafeteria.

“Do you love me?”

Shawn’s eyes widened. Why was Neil asking him this all of a sudden? Surely something had happened before he met him here. “Neil, what happened? Talk to me.”

“Do you love me or not?” the other boy asked again impatiently.

“What’s with this question just now? Tell me what’s wrong?” Shawn tried to understand the situation and to calm the other down.

“Just answer the goddamn question!” Neil shouted.

Shawn frowned, sighed and stood up. He could feel the other students looking at them, and he didn’t like that. He kept looking at Neil, doing as if he hadn’t noticed anything. “Of course I love you, but we shouldn’t have this discussion here.”

He let out his hand for Neil to take, and after some time, the blonde boy took it and they left the cafeteria. Shawn lead them to their dorm room. On the way, Neil seemed thoughtful, and Shawn couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about. What had happened during the three hours he was in classes? Because surely, he wouldn’t ask him this kind of question if something hadn’t bothered him…

He unlocked the room and let Neil enter before him, then closed the door behind them. They both removed their shoes and then went to their bedroom, where they sat on their own bed, facing each other. Since Neil didn’t seem to engage the conversation, Shawn spoke first.

“What was that in the cafeteria? Do you… doubt my feelings for you?”

Neil looked away, his lips sealed. Shawn stood up and leaned towards him, forcing the other boy to lean back until his back was against the wall. Shawn smirked as he grabbed the other’s chin, forcing Neil to look at him in the eyes. “You’ve got nowhere to run now…” he whispered against his lips as he brought his closer to the others’. It was now or never. If the blonde boy still had doubts about his feelings, he could still show it by turning his head.

Shawn tried to see something in Neil’s eyes, anything, but he couldn’t see anything other than anticipation for what he was about to do. He could see his boyfriend’s cheeks turning red, and he finally closed the distance between them, kissing the guy he loved the most in the world. The latter closed his eyes and let out a muffled moan as Shawn slipped his tongue inside his mouth. Neil immediately responded to the kiss, forgetting to breathe.

They would eventually stop kissing to let in some air and then kiss again. Shawn put a hand on the other guy’s cheek, brushing it with his thumb, then let it run to his nape, and along his back to under his shirt, caressing the bare tanned skin. Neil let out another moan as Shawn broke the kiss and looked at him in the eyes. The blonde boy was left panting and his boyfriend put a black bang behind his ear, a smirk on his reddened lips.

“See? Would I do this if I didn’t love you?” he asked, slightly out of breath.

Neil leaned forward to kiss him again, but Shawn put a finger on his mouth to stop him. “Answer my question first,” he spoke softly.

The blonde boy sighed. “I… I don’t know. I was with Jude before you came, he talked to me and-”

“Jude?” Shawn cut him, “What does Jude has to do with that?” he asked, not understanding why the other was talking about their friend.

“He told me his boyfriend was being distant with him lately and that they hadn’t done it for three whole months. And I thought-”

“You thought I was avoiding you? Because we didn’t have time to do it either?”

Neil nodded, blushing in embarrassment. Shawn smiled and ruffled his hair. “We had exams and we had to revise. Plus now, you have a report to finish. I just wanted this year to end so we could have more time. But you should have told me if you wanted something, I would have given it to you.”

Neil raised his head, looking directly at Shawn. “Really?”

“Of course! We’re together after all!” He smiled.

This sentence made Neil smile, and he hugged Shawn, which the other returned, resting his chin on the other’s head. He gently caressed the blonde hair as the other relaxed in his arms. After a few minutes of silence, Neil talked. “So… do you want me to tell you what I want?”

Shawn broke their hug so he could look at the other man’s face. “Yes.” he simply replied.

His partner took in a deep breath. “Then, I want you to tell me you love me more often.” A silence passed when neither of them said anything, then, Neil continued. “I was confused, you know. I even though that, two years ago, you said you accepted my feelings just so I wasn’t hurt. I never heard you tell me you loved me even once since we’re a couple. Not even during sex…”

“Do you want me to tell you I love you now?”

The other boy shook his head. “No, it would feel as if I forced you. It needs to be natural…”

“Then, not only am I going to tell you every day from now on, but I’m also going to show you right now.” With that said, Shawn removed his own shirt and then leaned to kiss Neil passionately. The latter kissed back and started undressing too, removing his top, then his pants, only staying in boxers. The black-haired boy smirked and gently tugged at the thin piece of fabric, slowly licking his lips, eyes shining with hunger. “Now, let’s see what we have here…”

.

Neil was still feeling hot even after fifteen minutes had passed. He and Shawn had had some wild sex like they haven’t had for months, and he felt really content at that very moment. However, he knew he had to get to his lectures, and he truly didn’t want to. He just wanted to lay there, next to his lover and cuddle until they fell asleep into each other’s arms. But Shawn poked him in the arm and reminded him to go to his classes. Neil mumbled and turned to him, looking at his face since he was already turned towards him.

He kissed him briefly, just a slight touch, then stood up and got dressed for the second time of the day. Shawn followed the movement, and after a few minutes, they were ready to go back to their lectures. They left the apartment, stopped by the cafeteria to buy a sandwich they would eat on their way to their respective classrooms, and walked a bit together to then part ways and go to their lessons.

To be Continued....