The brown haired boy peeked up from his book slyly, always hesitant eyes looking across the table to where Nikolai sat reading a book with a look of such intense interest that Alexander grew curious.
“Nikolai.” His voice came out as a hushed whisper, legs swinging back and forth as his feet didn’t quite reach the ground just yet.
“What, Alexander?” The blonde never took his eyes off the book even though he seemed to be keeping a good grip on his attention between the book and the ever-insistent boy that kept bothering him.
“What are you reading?” The question was redundant but he didn't care.
Nikolai turned a page and his eyes held a mischievous glint. “A book.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Nikolai smiled. “Sorry… It’s a book about Greek myths.”
“Greek myths?”
“Mhm, Apollo, Zeus, tales like that.”
“Oh...” He frowned and Nikolai didn’t even look up from his book to see why Alexander had suddenly ceased his insistent questions. “…Well what myth are you reading?”
“Cupid and Psyche.”
“Cupid and Psyche?” The boy looked perplexed and Nikolai finally laid the book down given that he seemed to finally give into the fact that he was not going to get Alexander to hush up for a second even though they had planned on just reading in silence.
“Yes. Cupid was the son of Aphrodite and Psyche was his lover.”
The way he spoke made him seem so much older, but as usual, when Nikolai seemed to get in these moods or show these inklings of maturity, he did not seem concerned, or frightened by that aspect of him, but more so hesitantly intrigued.
“What’s a lover?”
“A special person.”
“A special person…?’
“Mhm.”
“Well, we’re special to each other, right?”
Nikolai pulled his hair up, the long wavy strands flowing as he wrapped it up into a ponytail that was messy enough for his baby hairs to still frame his ethereal features and feline-like eyes.
“Mhm, we are.”
“So… that means that we’re lovers?”
Nikolai’s eyes blinked once, and then twice before he gave a plain and simple pout of his lips. “I think we aren’t lovers. We’re special to each other…” He paused as if trying to find the right words. “… But not special like how cupid and Psyche were.”
Disappointment ran through Alexander’s emotions but he didn’t know why and so he simply pushed that emotion off to the side. “Well what’s different?”
“They are adults and we are not.”
“And…”
“Neither of us are female.”
“And….?”
“I think that even though being an adult is terrifying and a thing that provokes evil, there are certain emotions that they have that we can’t feel yet. I don’t know what that word is, but I know that we don’t yet have it to say that we’re lovers.”
Alexander took in Nikolai’s words, eyes staring off into the distance as the vivid memory of flies, rancid hot breath, and the constant creaks of bed springs plagued his mind and made him rigid with disgust, dirt, and grime.
“Oh.”
“Look at me.”
Alexander looked up and came face to face with the honey color haired boy who now looked so pained that it bordered frustration.
“Don’t think about things that hurt, okay? Block it out.”
“…. Okay…”
“He’ll pay for it. For now, just read before we get in trouble.”
“Okay....”
A single tear fell down his cheek as he picked up his book titled, ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ by Maurice Sendak, and looked upon the fine print of the illustrated monsters with familiarity.
The door suddenly opened then and he didn’t even need to ponder as to who it was.
“Alexander, why are you sitting all alone in the library, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
His sister came rushing up to him, her feminine and youthful form seeming monstrous as her shadow lurked behind her, but upon looking at her she was not a monster. Just a regular human female with a regular human female form. “It’s time for lunch. Come on now.”
Across the table Nikolai was gone but the book that he had been reading stayed open and laid out directly parallel to himself.
“Okay, sister.”
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