*THIS STORY IS MEANT TO BE READ OUT LOUD WITH MUSIC*

First, throw everything out you "know" about vampires; this is the list of things that are different than the modern movie adaptations of vampires.

1. Vampires can only be killed by the sun and that's only after dousing them in holy water. on a side note, if the priest has ever committed a sin after obtaining the priesthood the holy water does jack all. 

2. We do not have 2,4, or any other number of fangs that one might imagine.

3. Contrary to popular belief, we do age. The process can take up to a couple days while a vampire builds a secondary skin (or a third in some cases). This outer "skin" can often prove to be impossible for the average human to resist. 

4. A vampire can morph his or her surroundings like clay.

5. Vampires cannot be killed. If step 1 was followed, you will only succeed in putting them into a temporary slumber. An elder vampire may choose to end his existence if he sees fit, although it is worth noting that few have chosen this route over the eons.