That was how Clarice remembered and knew Nana; an extremely tough and fearless bird girl who didn't care who she offended. Clarice always felt like, when Nana was around, their group was invincible.
To see her cry was very difficult. Clarice said, "what's wrong?"
Nana dried her eyes. "It's just... Do you think the Roc can bring people back from the dead?"
Clarice swallowed a lump in her own throat. She didn't know what to tell her dear friend. "I don't think he can do that... But you should at least ask. I'm so sorry, Nana..."
Nana couldn't stop her tears. "When I lost my sibling, it felt like I lost a part of my life. Your sibling is like a best friend that is gifted to you at birth. They're someone you expect to be apart of your life until you die... I'd do anything to have my sibling back."
"Let's ask the Roc..." Clarice repeated.
There was nothing the Roc could do, however, and Nana spent the night crying. "So everyone in their group can have what they want but me?"
Connie-Roc tried to quell her as the bird girl threw herself at his feet and begged him to bring back her sibling.
Connie-Roc touched her head and said, "it'll be okay; you'll see your sibling again. Maybe not now, but once you've accomplished all you ever wanted to do; once you've made your sibling proud by living a full life, you can see them again. Don't cry..."
Clarice watched as the Roc lifted her friend's sadness despite not being able to bring her sibling back to life. He somehow made it okay for Nana to live on without feeling guilty everyday that she failed her sibling. Clarice thought these small miracles were some of the Roc's best work.
***
They had gathered enough of an army that they could now challenge the Wicked Goddess' army that lie far to the north-east. All creatures of Dru were in the army; from Elves, to Trolls, to humans, to Goblins. It was time to fight. They had gathered a total of ten thousand soldiers to fight the Wicked Goddess.
The land to the north-east was all dead now. It was a barren land with dead trees and grass with night beasts crawling everywhere. The army made camp just before entering the Goddess' Dead Land.
Before they began the fight, the Roc, at night, stood before Clarice's tent and said to her, "Clarice? May I enter?"
Clarice was the leader of the army, and she had many responsibilities, but they already had come up with a strategy to combat the Wicked Goddess, and so she had time to speak to the Roc.
"Come in..." Clarice said.
The Roc came in and sat down, cross-legged. He was silent as Clarice scribbled something down in her journal.
Clarice gave him her full attention after a moment. "Yes?"
"All your friends asked me for something. Isn't there anything you want?" Connie-Roc offered kindly.
Clarice was embarrassed. "There's nothing I want... Not anymore."
"There must be something. You've done so much for everyone. Especially me. Let me do something for you... I can tell there's something you wish from me." Connie-Roc said.
Clarice thought about asking for it. She couldn't deny she still loved the Roc's human form. But she would never be able to tell whether she was in love with the Roc, or a personality of a dead man. She suposed it didn't matter. The man who sat before her, she decided, was the culmination of people the Roc had known throughout time. He had known and loved many people, Clarice was sure, and had adopted their personalities to form the charming man who sat before her.
"How about we make a deal? If I survive all this, you can give me a kiss. It'll be my reward." Clarice suggested.
Roc-Connie cocked his head to the side. "That thing mortals do when they love each other?"
Clarice looked away, embarrassed, and then scribbled something to distract herself. "Right..."
Roc-Connie scratched his head as the wind howled outside. He said, "are you in love with me?"
Clarice snorted and shrugged. "I don't know. I don't understand what that is. I always had a crush on you when you were in that form. I've never been in love, truly, though. I never had the ability to get close to anyone, so I got close to you. In my head, even if I couldn't see you... You felt so real to me. I lived on your stories for most of life with no affections from real people. I lived on a fantasy; a fantasy that sustained me for my whole life. I can't just shake my feelings for you in one night."
Roc-Connie chuckled. "You believed in me this whole time? Even as I slept and abandoned you? That's amazing! But kind of sad... What is it that kept you away from people all this time? Why was I your only friend even though we hadn't met? You could have a family. You could have children and a husband."
Clarice shook her head. "It's difficult to describe. I just... It's my personality, I suppose. Real life was boring and depressing; people were boring and depressing. I've always read fairy tales since early childhood. I preferred them to people. I understood them. I got something out of them. I've always thought to myself, 'what's the point of life anyway? Nothing grand ever happens. Stories have more of a purpose than real life does.' I guess when I thought about life in the long term, it seemed pointless. I don't think that now, though. I think life is worth it for the people you love and meet."
Roc-Connie stared at her, enthralled. "I've never heard any mortal say something like that. I almost don't understand it. Mortals are social creatures; yet you walled yourself off?"
"Everyone's different. It's not that I repulsed them. I was just afraid of them, I think. I thought I could never fit in with them. I never really fit in anywhere."
Roc-Connie grinned. "It took you so long to get here, didn't it?"
Clarice nodded with a happy sigh. "I'm so glad I made it, though..."
Roc-Connie looked at his hands thoughtfully. "What does love mean to you mortals? For me love just meant... Watching over someone I liked. Protecting them."
Clarice smiled a little. "I think that's what it means to most mortals, too... But with mortals, love isn't something that can last forever. They can die, lose interest, or learn to hate one another. You're different though; you can love the people you know through all eternity, right?"
The Roc realized, suddenly, that that was something that meant a great deal to Clarice. Clarice wanted life to mean something. She needed it to mean something. That was why she was the way she was. It was why she had no patience for other people for most of her life. Those people could love and enjoy life without thinking about long term implications. Clarice was afraid to love and be loved because love didn't last when it was between mortals. But the Roc could love her forever.
Clarice was always thinking about the future. She was thinking about the moment she would die and how she would be completely forgotten afterwards. She wanted to be remembered; she wanted to be more than dust in the earth when she finally died. The Roc had what she wanted; the ability to stay around forever.
Where other people could live with their short, satisfying time on the world and live with their time being meaningless, Clarice just couldn't. She always wanted more. She wanted to make a legend of herself. She didn't care if it was selfish or shallow; that was what she needed out of life.
The Roc smiled now that he understood. "I love people like you..."
Clarice blinked, confused. "Why?"
"Because you never hide who you are. You're flawed and you know it. You want everything and yet you can live with nothing. You're never satisfied and it makes you strive for more. It's amazing. I've never had that kind of passion. The kind of passion that makes mortals do amazing things with no magic at all. You should raise your head and be proud, Clarice."
Comments (0)
See all