The following morning, I woke up blinded by bright sunlight that filtered through the plastic blinds and onto my face. It cast the remaining darkness away from my vision leaving everything around me a blur. Reaching out for Garret, I find nothing but air on a cot just barely big enough for me. That's right, Mikah was out. I rolled onto my back and laid my arm over my face to block the light and attempt to collect any memories from last night.

I was putting away the alters' boxes and curiosity got the best of me. Seriously, what harm could come from peeking at a six-year-old’s belongings? Enough, apparently. He found the stuffed bunny Garret bought him with its soft velvet fur and bright red bow and shoved me into the darkness. According to Garret, Mikah seems to look up to him so hopefully, he didn’t cause too much trouble yesterday.

Bracing myself for that morning glare, I removed my arm and slowly sat up to take in my surroundings. Mikah’s night light was still turned on and at the foot of the bed, dozens of my oil pastels littered the floor. Above them on the wall were a bunch of doodles Mikah made of everyone. I shuddered at the sight of Baza but when I saw what he drew of Garret and me a smile tugged at my lips. With most of yesterday’s events a blur, I knew I had to find him.

I swung my legs onto the carpeted floor, stood up and fell back onto my butt. My mind may be in the right place but the rest of my body still had some catching up to do after Mikah’s little playtime. With my pulse returning to normal and my legs feeling like I ran a marathon, my entire body and senses were weak. I took a breath and tried again, this time with some success. Exhaling, I focused and could hear water running across the hall. Garret must be taking a shower. He either made plans for today or, like me, couldn’t stay in bed alone any longer.

The steam and Garret’s spearmint shampoo guided me to him like a siren’s call. I stepped out of my sweatpants and into the shower. With my head lowered against the back of his neck, I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into his strong shoulder blades. For a split second, he seemed to flinch before he relaxed in my grasp like he was lost in thought and wasn’t expecting me. He turned around and stared at me. Becoming lucid, I ran my hands from his hips up his chest and rested them on his shoulders not just for support but I needed to know if I really awake here with him.

He let out a breath in relief and cupped my cheeks in his hands. 

“Good morning,” Garret whispered against my lips. His voice seemed to bring me back and I was finally able to focus my eyes on his bright baby blues I always got lost in.

Garret pressed his lips to mine just long enough for me to savor the scent of him and the taste of his lips. He turned to lather some soap in his hands and I was left licking his light, minty essence from my lips. He turned around and started massaging the soap from the bottom up. Once he finished scrubbing the suds into my shoulders and turned me around and started lathering and scrubbing shampoo in my hair. By the time he was done he took his turn to wrap his arms around me and I lean into his embrace.

“Let me take care of you today.” He whispered in my ear. I hated feeling so helpless, but after everything we’ve been through and everything Garret’s done to prove his trust and love for me, I’ll let him do anything to keep him close.

He briefly let go to turn the water off and slide the shower curtain open. While he’s drying himself off, I’m wringing streams of water from my hair. I stepped out of the tub and Garret wrapped my towel around me. His was folded on the toilet seat and I sat on it while he carefully patted me dry.

“Come on. Let’s go get dressed.” He said then kissed me on the top of my head. I took his hand and he led me to our bedroom.

Since I missed the grand tour yesterday he showed me where everything was. All our shirts, hats, and scarves were hanging in the closet and our pants and tees were organized in the tall dresser beside it. I found my drawer and threw on a worn grey sweater and jeans. My eyes traveled from Garret’s black pants to the blue button down short sleeve shirt that matched his eyes. A smile tugged at my lips when I saw the top half of his buttons done wrong. For someone conscientious of his wardrobe like him, he tends to ignore simple details when he’s so focused on me.

“What?” He asked, his brows raised quizically must’ve caught me staring at his shirt.

“Looks like I’m not the only one that needs taken care of.” I replied and fixed the buttons for him.

We went into the living room and I sat on the floor while he sat on the couch and braided my hair. When he started, his hands massaged my scalp, relaxing me into his touch as he worked his way down. I’m glad he’s so skillful with his hands because whenever I braided my hair, it ended up lopsided. He once told me he learned how to braid from his baby sister, Ellie. She broke her wrist when she was eight and couldn’t use her right hand for five weeks.

We spent the afternoon at the grocery store, stocking our shelves with the necessities. Fruit, bread, cereal, milk, peanut butter and jam, tea, salad fixings, and ingredients for pasta tonight. I must have transitioned for a few seconds because one moment we were passing the snack aisle and the next we had twelve packages of cookies in our shopping cart. Everyone was glaring at Garret as he quickly paid the cashier and rushed us out. On the way home, he told me Mikah was crying because he couldn’t persuade Garret to buy any cookies. Everyone passing by, however, felt sorry for his ‘special boy’ and bought him a bag of cookies each.

Garret laughed and waved it off. “Nobody can resist that kid’s charm,” he said.

The rest of the day, he was rather quiet and wouldn't make eye contact with me. He’d make just enough small talk to keep me grounded, but I didn’t want to talk about the weather or about the classes we had at university together. I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday and why this place feels so familiar. As much as I trusted Garret, I needed him to be openly honest with me about everything. We swore to never have any secrets between us. I hate being suspicious of him, but I still have the feeling he’s keeping something from me.

That evening, Garret offered to cook dinner while I spend some time on the couch with my journal piecing together what I missed yesterday. Garret gave me the general gist of what happened- burned off some energy at the playground and watched a movie. There had to be more to it than that. An innocent mind like Mikah’s is usually an open book, but even he knows how to hide information from me. What new information could he have to hide?

I thought back to all the events that led to the transition yesterday including the drive here. When we arrived, we went through a huge security gate where they had to buzz us in. Garret had me watch our things while he went inside to get our keys and a map of the place. On the map, the only building shown out of the three towering structures was the one we were living in. It had ten floors and each one except the ground floor had a balcony. The first level held offices, a café, a gym, and a clubroom. Each floor held four apartments and a winding stairwell that separated them in half. Ours was the one facing the indoor staircase on the sixth floor, apartments 603.

Garret insisted we carried our things upstairs it was through the side of the building leading to the indoor stairwell. Since I trusted his methods, I didn’t question them. Despite how many flights of stairs we had to take. Besides, the extra exercise helped keep me focused. It never occurred to me that there was a reason behind Garret’s insistence to staying away from the hallway or main floor.

I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the armrest. The couch furnished to this apartment wasn’t that big. It was a loveseat with white and blue stripes. If I breathed in deep enough, I could smell disinfectant like they use in a hospital. Or a psychiatric ward. I shut my eyes tight as if I could shut off the images of the Krieger Institute and the psychologist’s office. She had a small sofa with the same scent propped in the corner where she hypnotized me. That scent lingered in the hallways where they escorted me to an elevator that took me to my room. That is you could call a room with nothing but a springboard mattress and bedframe a bedroom.

That elevator came back in my mind like I’ve seen it just recently. Except I haven’t. Garret and Mikah went to the playground last night. Did they take an elevator downstairs?

“Damon?” I looked up at Garret was looking down at me from the back of the couch. He had a perplexed look furrowing his brow. “Still here?”

He must have thought I transitioned since I was so quiet.

“Yeah. Still me.” I answered. I stretched and breathed in deep the smell of garlic and tomatoes from the kitchen. It was almost enough to get my mouth watering. “It smells good in there.”

We fixed our plates and took them to the dining table. The red sauce was thick and full of peppers, garlic, and herbs, and free of any red meat- just the way I liked it. Despite how hungry I was, my thoughts were still engrossed on this building. I may not have been in this apartment before but everything in it- the furniture, the smell, the flashbacks- it all felt like deja vu.

I picked at my food, but the more I felt Garret watching me instead of talking to me, the less hungry I felt.

“What’s wrong, Damon?” He finally asked, “You’ve barely touched your food.”

“How did you find out about this place?” I asked him straight out. Everything about this apartment seemed too convenient, too perfect. I set my fork down and met his stare.

He lowered his gaze and seemed to fidget in his seat as if he was caught red-handed. But for what?

After a few moments of heated silence, he took a breath and finally looked back at me. “Do you remember us discussing that we should see a therapist?”

“Yes…” I narrowed my eyes and scratched the wrist wearing the bracelet under the table, feeling uncomfortable with this conversation. “We decided to wait until I was ready.”

He swallowed and pushed his plate away. “Well, after the last fiasco with Canaan, I needed to take action into my own hands. I found this place just outside of Boston. In exchange for signing me on as your caretaker and that we see one of their doctors on a regular basis, they’ll provide the room and any help we need.”

Jumping up from my seat, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “A caretaker? I’m not a freaking invalid, Garret!”

He slowly rose to his feet with his hands raised as if he was approaching a scared animal. “Of course not. But you need help and these people can do that.”

“I thought we were in this together. Just. Us.” I placed my trembling hands on the table to steady myself and took several deep breaths. Focus on the lines on the wood, its texture, anything but my rapidly changing heartbeat and Garret’s betrayal.

He slowly approached me and set his hands on my shoulders, gently rubbing the tense muscles. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, in your therapy sessions and every appointment.”

Still trying to process what he was saying, I closed my eyes and took another breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. “When is the first appointment?”

“Tomorrow after lunch.” He answered and squeezed my shoulder.

“No.” I whispered the only word he needed. The answer to my decision on this plan of his. I wanted to tell him to back off; that I wasn’t ready and we need to find somewhere else to live, that he should’ve waited. But that one word was all I can manage and I hoped it would be enough.

“Excuse me?” Garret was questioning my reaction to his plan. It should have been our plan. He eased off of my shoulders and stepped back. I turned to face him and could see the hurt and confusion on his face. Why should he be the one hurt? He wasn’t the one being betrayed by his only friend. Did he really think he was doing this for us? For my own good?

“I said no,” I repeated, then jumped back from the table and went around to the living room, shaking my hands as if that quick movement could loosen the tension from my arms and chest but to no avail. I started pacing the floor behind the sofa. “I’m not ready for this, Garret. You can’t force this on me this just because I was out. Was Canaan that bad that you had to take the initiative like this?

Every time I turned back towards the door, I got a little closer and my chest felt a little more constricted. I had to get out of here before I did something I regretted.

“This isn’t up for debate, Damon. The moment he pointed a gun at our school’s dean, the discussion was over.” he held his hands at his sides as if that emphasized his point and continued, “He’s getting even more out of control. If I didn’t get us here before he came out again, someone would’ve seriously been hurt.”

I stopped and faced him, straightened my shoulders and looked him in the eye. “Did he kill someone?” I had to know how far he’d gone. Canaan can be an insatiable menace, but even he understood our boundaries. If he killed again, I would take my life, along with his. I knew he’s been showing himself a lot more lately, but surely we haven’t reached the point of no return.

“No.” He answered flatly, but wouldn’t look me in the eye. That was the kind of answer I couldn't trust, especially from my best friend.