Everything was a muddled mix of pain and anger. I felt like I’d been betrayed in the utmost way. All I had wanted was to free Viktor from torture at the hands of Ipomoea, and Alyx had turned against me. He’d gone so far as to shift and take me down, and had done a damn good job of trying to take my arm off. It was bleeding heavily, making me dizzy as I cried in the arms of Alyx’s packmate. I had trusted Alyx, and he’d hurt me.
Everything was ruined, and considering how my life had gone before that point, I wasn’t entirely sure why I was surprised by it.
My tears thickened, and I clutched tightly at the shirt of the man who was holding me. He made a soft sound of sympathy, shifting me in his arms so that I was cradled more closely against him. “I’m sorry things happened this way.” His voice was low and calm, with a rumbling tone that made me recognize him as an alpha even with the scent of my own blood too thick to find his scent. “Alyx tries to be better, but sometimes he turns back into the nearly feral wolf who tore humans apart in this forest.”
I shuddered, hating the images of blood and death his words brought to mind. Alyx had told me about his past- how had I never realized what that meant? He was just like the rest of them, violent and vicious, only caring about getting what he wanted. He would go so far as to hurt me, to let Viktor die. “It hurts,” I whimpered, not sure whether I was talking about Alyx’s betrayal or the wound left behind by it.
“I know. It was a clean wound, thank god, but it was deep. Kibba’s place isn’t far from here; those two idiots who lead this pack get themselves injured too often for our makeshift hospital to be more than a few streets away. We’ll get you taken care of, I promise.”
I nodded against his shirt, pretending I didn’t just spread the wet stain of my tears.
The man cleared his throat, his voice becoming more cheerful when he spoke again. “That aside, it is nice to finally meet you, even if it wasn’t quite the way I expected. Viktor’s said a lot about you. It’s Tsuki, right?” he asked, and hummed a happy sound when I nodded again. “My name is Zeke. I came from the Moon Guard originally, after abandoning my pack because they were a pain in the ass.”
“You left your pack?” I finally looked up, knowing my eyes were wide with surprise.
Zeke chuckled. “Yeah. There was this horny bitch panting after me, driving me crazy. Pack law dictates alphas are supposed to sleep around, and they were getting downright hostile about me constantly turning her down. But I was in love with a human.”
I winced, knowing what that meant. When his pack found out about it, there was only way it would have ended. “I’m sorry.”
“It was a good life, the few months it lasted. But I couldn’t stay in the pack that had killed my Anita. I was hoping to bridge the gap between human and wolf- that’s why I joined the Moon Guard, and it’s how I met Cean. A human who didn’t seem to care much for the boundary, chasing after Alyx like a damned idiot. I still don’t understand his… tastes. But it was a step in the right direction, I suppose.
“Because now Cereus exists in its current state. Outlawed by wolves, sure- but it’s the beginning of the melding of wolf and human. There are three humans in this pack; not many, but better than none.”
“Three?” I repeated, curious.
“Two you’ve met- Kibba and Cean. There’s Thrane, too, another remnant of the Moon Guard. Destiny was from the Moon Guard too, but she’s a wolf.” Zeke didn’t seem to mind explaining, and I was grateful; it partially distracted me from the throbbing pain of my injured arm.
I eased my grip on his shirt, closing my eyes and resting my head against his chest, listening to the calm beat of his heart. “I heard the Moon Guard was destroyed by that mad alpha. How are you even alive?”
“Sheer stubborn will,” Zeke chuckled. “Cean was thrown over a waterfall, and they were distracted enough by the idiot carrying Alyx’s scent that they didn’t notice me dragging Des away. Kibba and Thrane hadn’t even been involved- they didn’t let humans participate in the violent things. I was able to drag Des back while Alyx saved Cean in the woods. We were some of the very few lucky enough to survive.”
“The rest of the Moon Guard?”
“The organization is struggling to survive, but it’s hard. Humans don’t want to believe werewolves exist, and humanity is afraid of anything they don’t understand; they’re more likely to kill us than try to so much as tolerate us. The humans left in the Moon Guard have been working with us, though, what few that remain.
“With Kibba’s advancements in fertilization technology, the werewolf population could skyrocket. We want to be prepared for that. If the packs grow too much, humanity is bound to discover us. And then there’s the little fact that Kibba has made conception between wolf and human possible.”
“He has?” I looked up, wide eyed once more. The problem with wolves was the rarity of men; if women could conceive children by human mates, it would solve the problem leading to the death of our species. So many laws would become obsolete. They wouldn’t be able to outlaw love like mine. They wouldn’t need omegas as much, so maybe people like me would be treated better. Kibba’s discovery could change the whole fabric of our society.
Zeke grinned down at me, following my train of thoughts. “Gives you hope for the future for once, doesn’t it?”
I huffed and dropped my head against his chest, because we both knew the answer. If things changed, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about my feelings. Viktor, Neo… I could be honest with everybody for once in my life. Neo wouldn’t have to protect me like a child. Viktor wouldn’t have to chase me to convince me to join his pack to escape abuse.
How would things change if I didn’t have to lie to myself- and everyone else around me- just to keep myself alive?
My head hurt just thinking about it, so I let it slip away. Focusing myself on the sound of Zeke’s heartbeat as he carried me, I was lulled into the soft space between waking and dreaming- which felt alarmingly similar to how I had drifted off after the crash, and may have been due to the blood loss more than any sense of comfort.
I was jostled back into full awareness when Zeke shifted me with a grumbled curse. “Hey, kid. Think you can stand?” he asked, though he only had to look down at my bleary eyes to know the answer was no. He cursed again, before gently setting me on my feet and guiding me back a step so I was leaned against a wall. “Try not to fall over.”
“Yes, sir,” I mumbled, letting all of my weight rest against the wall. Even with that support, it felt like the ground was going to slip out from under me without a moment’s notice. My head cleared a little as I turned my head to see why Zeke had put me down.
He stood in front of a heavy metal door, muttering under his breath about the pack’s open door policy for public areas. Zeke pushed a button to the side of the door, sounding out a very pretty melody. The beginning of it, at least. Only a few notes played before he punched his finger down on the button again.
Zeke proved to be the impatient type, slamming the button over and over, letting it play fewer notes each time until it was skippy over the same introductory note. It wasn’t long before that annoyance brought somebody to fling open the heavy metal door; it would have slammed into me if Zeke hadn’t thrown his arm out to catch it just in time.
“God damn it, Zeke!” The voice was recognizable; I’d seen Kibba almost every day since I’d woken up in Alyx’s house. “I know you’re a wolf, but you know what basic manners are! Why the hell- is that blood? Zeke!”
Kibba’s voice pitched high with panic, but all Zeke gave him in response was an irritated growl. Zeke swung the door out of the way just enough to lift me back into his arms before striding into what I could only assume was Kibba’s clinic. There was a cute, formal waiting room with a few plush chairs; Zeke stalked through it like he owned the place, shoving past the door which led further into the building.
There was a short hallway, the doors closed so that I couldn’t see what the rest of the building held. From the way Viktor and Cean had talked about Alyx’s resources, they had to be other medical rooms. Zeke pushed through the door at the very end of the hall; that turned out to be a patient room, like something I would see in any hospital drama on television.
Zeke deposited me on the cot to the side of the room. His foot hit a lever beneath it, and the bed raised with a soft whir of machinery until it was at hip height to the man. Only then did he deign to turn to Kibba and answer the frantic doctor. “There was an incident.”
“No? Really? I never would have guessed!” Sarcasm dripped from the words as Kibba put a key in a padlock holding a small fridge closed, and withdrew a bottle of stunning gold liquid. “What the hell happened this time?” he snapped the question as he flung open a drawer, tossing medical implement onto the table at the side of my bed.
“I don’t know the details. I got an incoherent call from Cean, and by the time I arrived, Alyx was chowing on the kid’s arm like it was rawhide,” Zeke explained, voice tense but his hands gentle as he helped me sit up, keeping a hand at my lower back because I wobbled dangerously.
“Shit,” Kibba hissed, jabbing a syringe into the bottle of liquid gold, releasing the plunger to fill the tool with the shining substance. He tapped at my uninjured arm, stinging the crease of my inner elbow, before trying some strange stretchy black fabric around my arm tight enough to hurt. Kibba smacked at my arm again before shoving the needle into my arm.
I made a strangled noise, immediately trying to pull away from the sharp pain. Wolves didn’t have experiences with vaccines or injections the way humans did; it was part of our careful avoidance of doctors and drawn blood. My wolf panicked in my head, and I don’t know what I would have done to Kibba if Zeke hadn’t been there to hold me back.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Tsuki, hold still, I just- what the hell?” Kibba’s yelps turned into a softly awed murmur, and I looked down at the syringe to find the source of the change. Kibba had pushed the plunger down, injecting me with the golden fluid, and for a moment I could see a map of my veins written in glowing gold before the color faded to nothing.
The shock of it calmed me from my fear, though my voice still trembled. “I-is that normal?”
“Uh- yeah. Totally. Standard practice,” Kibba said, tripping over the words and giving me a normal laugh that betrayed his lie.
My eyebrows furrowed, and I would have argued if he hadn’t wrenched the needle out of my arm and looked up to Zeke. “Hold him down,” Kibba ordered, his voice grim. “He’s not going to like this much.”
“Hold me down? No- wait- what are you- fuck!” I spat the word as Zeke pinned me back against the bed, too strong for me to even think to fight against the iron hold of his hands on my shoulders. I tried to struggle as Kibba gripped my injured arm, sending agony flaring through me; Zeke solved the problem by laying an arm across my chest, laying his weight on me, and helping Kibba to hold my arm steady.
“I’m sorry!” Kibba repeated it over and over as fluid whines slipped past my lips, an instinctual response to the flaring agony as something pulled and tugged at the torn skin of my arm.
Zeke grunted when my struggling had a knee connecting with his stomach. “Settle down, kid, this is for your own good! Damn it, Kibba, do you really have to use silver needles for this?”
“It’s the only thing that works! It’s that damn werewolf healing- Tsuki’s is faster than most, and I can’t stitch up even an average wolf without a steel needle getting stuck in their skin like a piercing.”
“What?” I squeaked the word, my panic growing along with my struggles. It was making my head spin, vision growing fuzzy along the edges as I tried to get away from the spreading flame.
Zeke swore as my knee rammed his groin that time. “Kibba, isn’t there anything else you can do?”
“Well, I could put him under, but-”
“Do it!”
“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up, and we’ll be lucky if it gives us half an hour! Tsuki isn’t an average-”
“Shut up and knock him out before I do it myself,” Zeke growled, and thought it wasn’t underlined by the unearthly power of a child of the stars, it was a clear command.
I hissed and spat as Kibba muttered curses, but the outcome was inevitable; I choked on my pain as another sliver of silver drove deep into my neck, spreading an uncomfortable chill. My anger seemed to only make it worse, and a new fog began to settle over my mind. It terrified me, whatever Kibba had injected into my neck dragging me down into the dark fog I usually embraced happily after my packmates beat me to hell. I’d never been drugged, forced into it, and I’d never been so terrified in my life.
None of which mattered when the drugs weighted down my body, making my struggle feel like I was trying to run through water. My voice was silent despite my gasping, and my head felt like it had been stuffed with thick wool. The world went black before I even closed my eyes, and it wasn’t long before I succumbed to the pull of the drug-induced sleep.
Fading into oblivion was horrifying- but at least it meant the pain was gone.
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