“Please *Amma. Please don’t make me do this. I promise I’ll study harder. I don't want to do this. I’m not doing this.” she said desperately through her tears. But her mother continued to apologize with her own stream of tears bubbling up her words, “I'm sorry Ashley. I'm so sorry, This promise was made years ago but I can't stop it anymore, especially since the rest of the family has found out. If you come back home, they’ll laugh at us again. I won't ever be able to face them. But ever since they've heard about your engagement, I could hold my head high for the first time in my life. I don't have to afraid to stand next to them anymore”. Ashley clenched her hand into a fist, of course this had to do with the rest of her family. Her second and third aunts and uncles were once people her mother could rely on, after all, they had come to America together. But ever since they became house owners and lived in places where people would mow their lawns for them, they never glanced at her family again. Her mother had cried at first because her aunts and uncles didn't even admit to other people that they were family. They didn't want to be associated with someone that didn't have much money or a place to call their own. Her mother would say how she had heard them laugh and talk about her behind her backs. She discovered how they wanted her to stay low in life forever, that even her children should not rise above theirs. Eventually her mother grew bitter and told her that when Ashley got a good job, then that would show them. Now, somehow, the rest of her so called family has found out about her engagement (they were always good at keeping track of Ashley's whereabouts) and Ashley had two choices laid out before. One, that she would tell the Emperor and Empress that she didn't want this marriage and go back home. Live her life without being tied to a stranger in a foreign country but disappointing not only her parents but also receive the snickers of her horrible aunts and uncles. She could only imagine what they would say, how she was probably rejected once the in-laws saw her status and ask if her parents didn't have any shame when they sent her daughter to beg for a marriage with royalty. Were they that desperate, her aunts would gossip while laughing. Or...she could take this burden herself for her parents to finally live without keeping their head low. They would have one less college tuition to worry about, one less mouth to feed, and one more thing to say proudly: that their daughter was a princess. And all Ashley had to do was just live her life in a grand, luxurious palace. It wasn't too bad...right? She could have this amazing room by herself, gourmet meals she could only imagine served to her, and a title she would never get even if she was reborn again. But then why was she crying so hard? Because she was losing her freedom? Because she was losing the life she had always known? But isn't that what her parents did everyday? Blinking back tears, she pressed her phone against her ears, hearing the cries of her mother. Didn't her mother sacrifice her freedom by staying married to her father for the sake of her children? Didn't her mother and father lose the life they knew in India and move to America to provide a better life for their children? So why can't she sacrifice a little too? Why can't she make them happy at least once in her life? Isn't that why she's been studying so hard, to make her parents proud? But now she had the chance to be something greater... so why can't she just do this? ‘I can do this. I can do this’ she thought, but the flow of tears and the clench of her heart didn't stop. The rush of blood in her ears and the numbness that enveloped her mind didn't stop. No matter how hard she held her hands over her mouth, her sobs didn't stop.

‘I have to do this. I have to.’

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Another day passed, she started eating her meals but she still didn't speak to anyone...not yet. Instead, she sat still on her bed for an hour then paced in and out her room for ten minutes, repeating this over and over. She was planning, coming in terms with her situation, then planning some more. The sense of doom from the day before began to fade- well more like she forced it to fade. She didn't have time to feel sorry for herself or mope around anymore. It was time to move one, not get left behind; time doesn't wait for anyone. Sitting still helped her think but when a thought made her excited, she had a habit of pacing around. She ignored the concerned yet confused looks her attendants stationed outside her room gave her and continued, the gears in her head working overtime. Her lips nibbled at her knuckles and her head was filled to the brim. Once a question was answered, another one would pop up until it became a never ending circle. How was she going to learn to be a proper princess and what was a ‘“proper” princess anyways? What was her duties as a princess? Did she have to make laws or enforce them?

And the one that bothered her the most...if she wants to keep this marriage...does that mean she’d have to convince her fiancé to do the same? And how in the world was she going to do that?

                                             -------------------------------

“You have to seduce him duh!” Veronica said, as if it was the most obvious thing. “Are you CRAZY?! Your bestfriend is the girl who runs from guys and has never flirted in her life!!” Ashley exclaimed, cheeks burning pink from even the suggestion. Veronica groaned, “Okay, okay.” she said, the frustration in her voice evident. “Looks like I'm going to have to be at least friends with him…” Ashley said, not at all enthusiastic about idea. She didn't know anything about her fiancé and she wasn't particularly excited to learn anything about him either. Maybe she was being petty, after all, this man was going to change her life (whether it was for the good or not, only the Heavens knew). She wasn't too keen on getting to know him but she knew that at least, people who are engaged know each other's names. “Ashley?…” Veronica said, wondering why the line went silent. “Ah yes! Sorry I was just...thinking.” she muttered, lost in the swirl of her thoughts once again. But she needed help to make this huge first step, she couldn't get all this information herself. “Hey Veronica, I need to go. I’ll call you later okay?” she rushed, grabbing her comb from her suitcase and brushing out her ponytail. “Oh okay? Good luck!” Veronica called out, just as she pressed the end call button. Rushing out the door, the attendants yelped at her sudden appearance. “I want to talk to the Emperor and Empress” she said, looking at the four women standing with their mouths open. Well of course they were beyond shocked, this was the first time they heard her speak. But just as quickly, they gathered themselves up and bowed to her in union, “Of course Your Highness!”. Ashley nodded to them, ignoring the cringe she felt from the way they addressed her and instead focused on the fire of determination lit within her.

That's right...

she was going to be the best damn princess Japan has ever seen.

                                ----------------------------------

As soon as she was brought to the throne room, the Emperor and Empress had rushed from their places and huddle around her. She couldn't hide her smile as the Emperor tapped her head in encouragement and the Empress held her hands within hers. Ashley looked at the man and woman adorned in fine silk and jewels, the owners of a grand palace, the rulers of a flourishing country. Yet there was not a speck of condescending disdain in their eyes when they looked at her...just warmth. Ashley suddenly felt her eyes fill up and a flutter of gratitude settle in her heart. She had been here for days now but she had yet to thank them for their hospitality and patience. They were royalty and royalty didn't need to wait for anyone. But they had waited for her for an entire week. Without pushing her for an answer, they just stood by her silently everyday and waited. They didn't care if she was being childish, they didn't care if she was taking her time...and they didn't care about her status. “*Okaa sama…*Oto sama.” she whispered, her heart beating fast as she looked into their widening eyes. The Empress gasped, her hand covering her mouth and looked at the Emperor, who smiled. “Okaa sama. Oto sama” Ashley said more confidently, watching their eyes glimmer with tears. She didn't know what overcame her, she wasn't someone who touched people casually. But despite that, there was no denying the affection that was beginning to sprout for the two people in front of her. Maybe it was the laugh and sparkling excitement from the Empress or the calm smile from Emperor that did it. So she did what she always does when it felt like her heart was about to burst...she hugged them. Wrapping her arms around them, holding them close to feel their body heat, and hoping they would understand her feelings for them. She felt them stiffen in surprise at first (Ashley doubted that and Emperor and Empress received much hugs-but hey she has already decided she was going to take this place for a wild ride) but they slowly melted into it and hugged her back just as tight.

If her parents-in-law were this wonderful, her fiancé couldn't be that bad...right?         

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*Amma: How people in South India refer to their mothers

*Okka sama: How people in Japan refer to their mothers (‘sama’ is to show respect)

*Oto sama: How people in Japan refer to their fathers (‘sama’ is to show respect)