Friday, February 28th
Dear Diary,
We're reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass in English class for the last few weeks of school. (The last few weeks!! Then I’m off to University!) Yumi’s gang dragged me out to see the movie when it came out, and I actually enjoyed it, surprisingly. Unlike the usual romcom stuff we usually end up watching. (Why do they insist on seeing so many romcoms? And watching every TV drama that comes out? They're all the same. Boy meets girl, boy chases girl, childhood best friend watches sadly from the sidelines determined to support boy no matter what. Girl dumps boy, boy realizes he loved the best friend all along.) The book looks nothing like the movie - except maybe for the illustration of the Jabberwocky.
We’ve been talking about the old religions in history, and we're discussing some of the more famous folktales for the rest of the year. Risuni was smirking at me all class. She knows I’ve practically memorized the Kojiki and that it’s already hard enough to keep my mouth shut about whatever story I’m reading that day. Now I'll have to listen to the girls complain about them day and night. Maybe they won’t care enough to bring it up. It’s not like grades matter anymore. There’s a final paper, but I don’t know why the teachers bother. No one has their mind on school anymore.
Monday, March 3rd
Dear Diary,
The book Alice has nothing to do with the movie. Lewis Carroll makes absolutely no sense. He thinks he can make up words any which way and his story goes everywhere, like a dream. I mean, who writes poetry in the shape of a mouse’s tail? It makes my head hurt.
Although, now that I think about it, I’ve had this headache ever since coming home from Risuni’s house. We were hanging out at her place, as usual. I asked her about that little shrine they’ve got to their kami back in their village. It’s just a carving of an old man standing in front of a dragon and a bowl of fruit in the alcove off their sitting room. When I went over to get a good look at it there was an earthquake and the carving just fell right into my lap. It wasn’t a big deal - the ground has been pretty active lately - but I got the most terrible headache when I was putting it back. It’s mostly gone now. I’ve never gotten migraines or anything this bad before. If it happens again I should probably get Mom to take me to the doctor...
Tuesday, March 4th
Dear Diary,
I was wrong about Alice. I can't put it down. There's just something about falling out of reality and into Wonderland that strikes a chord… I'm already on Looking Glass.
Kane asked me to kiss him today in his usual egotistical way. The nerve of him. That boy just won’t take a hint. I don’t remember what snarky comment I came up with but Risuni’s was much better. Kane said something along the lines of “I didn’t think,” and Risuni quipped with “Then you oughtn’t talk” in the most perfect tone of voice. He was so shocked that she even spoke to him that he just hung here speechless, and she had a perfect opening for “Curtsy while you think, it saves time.” I laughed so hard about it afterwards. The look on Kane’s face was the best part. The lines are honestly wasted on him, though. I don’t think he had any idea what she was talking about, for all that their English class is reading Alice too.
While doing research for my history paper, I came across this old worn-out copy of the Kojiki in the library. I would have missed this if not for my weakness for old books. It’s not like I don’t own four different editions of the Kojiki, but this one had a story that's missing in mine. It began with the usual origin story but it kept going past the usual ending. It said that human greed caused the world to split in two, one for humans and one for the spirits. It’s such an interesting idea. I didn’t have time to make a copy. I’ll have to go back when I find time.
The weirdest thing about the story was that it wasn't written in the past tense, like most of the folktales I read, but more like it was going on right at this moment. More than that. There was no ending. Maybe Risuni or her parents will know more about it. I need to remember to ask them. Sometimes I wish I had Risuni’s parents.
In other news, I memorized The Jabberwocky. (Can you tell I’m obsessed?) I have no idea what any of it means but the words feel deliciously wicked in my mouth, not at all crisp and flowing like Japanese. It's all these "th"s, “v”s and "s"s. We're only supposed to be halfway through the first book but I can't stop.
Wednesday, March 5th
Dear Diary,
Yumi was bragging about kissing one of the boys on the soccer team yesterday...
I don't get it. They're all cocky and obnoxious and without a gram of real self-confidence. What's the attraction? Besides, it’s not like we’re going to be here much longer. It was her birthday, so I didn’t say anything. She’s been so boy crazy lately. Usually she’s quite reasonable.
We went shopping for school things today. Sheets and laundry detergent and clothes hangers. It still hasn’t really hit me that I’m leaving. Gotta put this stuff away then get ready for Yumi’s party. That means I won’t have any time to read tonight. Ugh.
Later. Just got back. Karaoke was the usual affair but guess what, diary? Yumi’s got herself a boyfriend! His name is Watanabe Kaito and he seems like a decent guy. He had to get drunk before he could confess to her, but no one’s perfect. Yumi got super red (or maybe it was the beer) and seemed to forget that she was kissing somebody different last week. I wonder if it’ll last?
---
Zeniba had watched them grow up as much as her magic allowed. She had spelled the hair tie to join and to protect. It gave Zeniba a link to Chihiro wherever she went in the Human World. She and Haku watched as Chihiro settled into her new school, not remembering any of her experiences in the Spirit World. The Gate had done its job, and had locked her memories away as she had walked through it. Though she wasn’t aware of it, the Spirit World had changed her, and she blossomed into a cheerful and confident little girl. In her new home and at her new school, she worked hard and seemed happy enough, though it was clear she found it difficult to make friends. Then one day, when she was twelve, the spell stopped working. Or perhaps she had simply taken off the hair tie. The link opened only to darkness. It was as if she’d disappeared off the face of the earth.
After that, there was no reason for Haku to live at Swamp Bottom any longer. His outer injuries had healed. As for heartbreak and grief, there was no telling how long it would take. Zeniba urged Haku to go back to the palace and family he no longer remembered, and the King had been overjoyed. Under Nihonkai’s guidance, Haku quickly regained many of the years he had lost, though as a river spirit without a river, the powers that were a dragon’s birthright continued to elude him.
The shutters rattled. The door opened, and Haku entered. He was taller than he had been the last time Zeniba had seen him. His hair had grown out about his shoulders as befitted a young prince. His face, still pale, had lost some of its roundness. His olive-green eyes echoed with grief, though there was hope there, too.
---
Haku was afraid. For five years he’d dreamt of her, the Chihiro that he knew. He had told Tenryu that she had no doubt changed, and in his mind he knew that she had. A lot happened between twelve and eighteen. But still he hoped he would know her. He even hoped, irrationally, that she would know him.
He walked into the living room. Zeniba greeted him warmly, and he replied with his own greeting. She continued to talk but Haku’s gaze had swung past her, past No Face at the spinning wheel, and into the magical window hanging in the air above the table. Zeniba must’ve scanned the entire town to find her, he thought.
At first, Haku was afraid there had been a mistake. The window was dark. Then a screen lit up in the room beyond the window, illuminating a dozen adolescent humans piled onto couches and a low table covered with food and bottles and glasses of drink. One girl stood, microphone in hand, her swaying figure silhouetted by the bright screen. Words crawled across the picture below the image of two lovers. The others laughed. There was no sound, but Haku could almost smell the alcohol on her breath.
Zeniba came to stand behind him. With a gesture, the view shifted to the faces of the young men and women sitting and standing around the couches, illuminated by the light from the screen. Haku cried out. The faces were blinding white and there were glittering voids were the eyes should be.
He looked closer. The girls had painted their faces and were improbably dressed, some in cloth that was transparent in the harsh light of the screen, others in spiked and garishly colored stomach-baring tops. In the twilight, they looked like mannequins. Chihiro can’t possibly be among them, Haku thought. He tried desperately to find a girl that stood out from the others.
The window moved toward the face of one of the female mannequins. She was holding a half-empty glass in one hand and was laughing and shouting with the rest. She had short dark hair, waved to look windblown and gelled to the nines, with a blond streak on one side. Her face filled the magical window as her green-tipped fingers raised her glass to her darkened lips, and there she was. Behind the exaggerated plastic eyelashes, those big brown eyes were Chihiro's eyes.
Haku held his breath as he stared at the image. What did the human world do to her? Then Zeniba’s words from minutes ago finally registered.
“What did you say?” he said.
“I said you can cross over,” Zeniba said. “The worlds are still connected in some secret places. I’ve known for some time now, but
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to get your hopes up, Haku.”
“Get my hopes up!” Haku exclaimed. I can cross the border? “You should have told me. Do you know what I’ve gone through… I had completely given up seeing her again…”
“It would’ve been a far crueler thing to tell you,” Zeniba said sternly. “The information was useless as long as we couldn’t find her. Your time was well spent reuniting with your family and your responsibilities. But now, it is time.”
“Now?” Haku said, taken aback. I can see Chihiro now? The image of that china face with its painted cheeks and lips, inhuman eyelashes, and stiff bobbed hair filled his mind. Except for the eyes. He had recognized those eyes. Maybe he would recognize other things. “Tell me how.”
“Haku, I must warn you again. You cannot let her recognize you. If you trigger her memories-”
“The spell will cause her to hate and fear and Spirit World forever, I know,” Haku interrupted.
“By causing her great pain,” Zeniba pressed. “She will learn to associate you with her pain. You must be careful. I know you remember your time together fondly, but she will have none of those memories. Don’t expect too much. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
Haku smiled. “Granny, I promised you I would take care of her. I’ll be careful. As for disappointment, how can I be? I thought I would never see her again, and now…”
The boy has mastered the courtier’s manner, Zeniba thought, watching him. He hides his pain well. “Watch carefully.”
He felt Zeniba place a hand on his arm and pushed the troubling thoughts away, leaving the excitement bubbling under his skin in its place. The vision of a spring appeared in his mind. Through the eyes of a fish, he sank beneath the surface and against the current deeper and deeper into the source of the spring. The tunnel around him narrowed until he squeezed through a small hole in the rock, and then like an hourglass it widened dramatically. The vision rose until it broke the surface of the water on the other side. Haku was incredulous. He had recognized the spring as the one behind Zeniba’s house. Passage had been hidden beneath the swamp this whole time!
“Do you see where it is?” Zeniba asked.
“Yes,” Haku said.
“Good. It’s time, then,” Zeniba said.
“At last,” Haku said.
Zeniba beckoned, and led Haku through the house and out the paneled back doors into the swamp.
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