Six months passed and things couldn’t be better. Docking bay 4 was full to bursting with tangimoney, and docking bay 5 was always full of ships. Crawley squinted in a smile as he made his way towards his quarters as another day came to a close. If he had a mouth he would have been whistling.
Just as he was about to enter his room, the familiar three shrill beeps of the communication system sounded. The same message that had always been read to them thousands of times was read once again: “Visiting hours are over. Any guests on board the Gor Quasar Library must leave or check out their books and vacate in a timely manner. This is your fifteen minute warning. Prepare for lockdown…” Crawley expected to hear the familiar clink of the system shutting off, but instead the background static lingered. He froze in his tracks as the voice began another sentence.
“A mandatory health inspection will be held at the Gor Library in three hours. Thank you.” Finally the call was cut, and Crawley felt his two little hearts skip a beat.
That night, all the librarians and Bob met in the Hruut section.“ What does a health inspection consist of?” Bob asked, a little bit of anxiety seeping through his middling, commanding voice.
The librarians looked at each other and shrugged. Loraine chimed in. “They only do it every few years. I never pay attention to what they do, though…. has anyone ever noticed?” One of the younger employees, an avid reader of most sections of the library spoke up in a shy tone. “I seen them lookin’ ‘bout each section last time, scanning. I noticed ‘em wherever I went.”
Silence. If the inspectors really did visit every room, then their operation was doomed. There was no way the amount of tangimoney they had stored away in docking bay 4 could be moved out in the few hours they had left.
“Who’s gonna take the fall if we get caught?” another young librarian asked, panicking.
“You’re jumping to conclusions.” Bob said, his composure regained. He worked well under stress. “We’re not going to get caught. We just need to make sure the inspectors don’t look in docking bay 4.”
“And anyway,” Loraine added, “I’ll take the fall if need be. If you haven’t noticed, I’m really old, and this has been a blast.” There was a sigh of relief, except from Crawley who preferred not to lose his best friend. So what’s the plan? he asked sternly in everyone’s head at once, hoping they knew that getting caught wasn’t an option.
Another round of shrugs erupted from the shoulders of all present.
“Here’s a crazy idea.” Bob said, straightening out his camel hair coat as he thought aloud. “What if we gave the inspectors something to find? Some sort of real health hazard? Something small enough to get us a warning, but not big enough to get us under watch. Government workers are typically lazy and dumb... aside from you librarians of course. If they find something before they get to docking bay four, the odds of them checking the rest of the library are slim.”
Like what? Crawley was intrigued. He knew Bob was right about the government workers. They were paid whether they did a good job or not, so they typically forgot to cross tees and dot eyes.
Before more shrugs could break out, Loraine raised her hand. “I know! I’ll just have a pet in my room. That’s an obvious violation, and I’ve always wanted some sort of exotic cat.”
“Where do we get a cat?” Another one of the librarians asked.
Bob suddenly jumped a bit as an idea flashed into his mind, his fancy shoes clacking on the cold floor. “We may not be able to find a cat, put I know someone here with tons of pets! Follow me.”
The little group of employees soon found themselves in docking bay 5, in the presence of Eye. No wonder he was always going back and forth between the unknown territories and civilized space – he was trapping and selling exotic animals on the black market. He managed to fit hundreds of beasts on his little craft, mostly small ones, but he did also have a giant bear-like beast with scales tranquilized in one of the corners.
The librarians oohed and aaahed over the creatures they’d only read about, and enjoyed petting the tame ones. Eventually, Loraine settled on a little blue sloth-like creature with a long elephant-like nose. It was adorable and as Eye explained, it was a favorite because it didn’t eat much and required only the minimum to survive. It was low-cost to keep and very rare.
Crawley dutifully paid for the creature with a large amount of tangimoney from docking bay 4, and Loraine took the little fellow to her quarters. If she did have to take the fall for the library, at least she had the pleasure of owning a rare animal for one night.
The next day saw the inspectors boarding the ship from docking bay 1, which was on the opposite side of the library from docking bays 4 and 5. There were three of them: two humans and one giant, severe-looking Ghat whose four arms were kept very busy; two held cups of coffee, and the other two held scanning devices.
The inspectors were surprised to be greeted, and even more so to be treated with kindness and respect from Crawley and Bob. Health inspectors were notoriously cold, empty-eyed blokes, so they were usually treated in kind.
The criminal and the librarian slowly took the inspectors through each section of the library. Occasionally they would take readings with scanners, and occasionally the Ghat would spill a bit of coffee as he stiffly handled his instruments with his other hands. Crawley grimaced as a bit of the brown overly-caffeinated liquid spilled on a copy of an ancient Earth volume entitled “The Baby-Sitter’s Club”.
Bob treated them especially generously, but his efforts were rewarded by indifference from the inspectors. Crawley wondered how they acted when they weren’t on the job. There seemed to be two personalities in every person in the galaxy; the work personality and the home personality. The telepath knew this to be true because at the library he found himself efficient and fretful, but once every few years when he returned home he was relaxed and amicable.
Crawley knew what Bob’s two personalities were: criminal and liar. Right now he was the liar; overly friendly and misleadingly empathetic. He preferred the real Bob, the criminal Bob he’d gotten to know over the past months. That Bob was truthful and to the point.
“Okay then, I think we can move on to the last docking bays.” The lead inspector, one of the humans said dryly. His blonde hair was oily from being awake for so long – obviously he just wanted to be done.
But what about the employees’ quarters? Crawley asked a little too forcefully in all three of the inspectors’ heads.
“Eh. We can skip it.” The Ghat said, sipping his coffee noisily.
“I dunno. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen people keeping weird stuff in their quarters.” Bob said quickly.
“Oh, very well.” The blonde man rolled his eyes.
Within minutes they were in Loraine’s room. It was disturbingly more furnished with pink belongings than Crawley would have imagined. She apologized profusely as she handed her rare pet to the inspectors.
“You may be looking at jail time for keeping this kind of creature.” The blonde human said indifferently. The Ghat held the creature aloft with one of his free hands while petting it with the other. “Poor little thing, kept in this dank library. What were you thinking?”
“I just wanted some companionship. I didn’t know it was illegal to keep one.” Loraine said in her most old, frail voice possible. Crawley laughed a little in her head, letting her know he enjoyed the performance.
Abruptly, Bob took in a sharp breath, glancing about anxiously. Crawley looked over at him curiously. What’s the matter?
“The third one…” he whispered.
Indeed, the third inspector had gone missing. Crawley’s hearts jumped, and at that same moment the blonde leader called the missing inspector over his communication device. “Hey Dave. We found an illegal pet over here in the sleeping areas. Did you find anything?”
“Just one odd thing. Come over to docking bay 4.”
Crawley’s worst fears were realized. He glanced intently at Loraine. She stared back and shrugged. He knew she was ready to take the fall as she said she would the previous night. Bob was silent as well, perhaps considering whether or not to bail on the library entirely at that point.
“Oh? We’re on our way…” the leader said, surprised.
Bob, Loraine, and Crawley all followed the blonde man and the Ghat. The other librarians who’d overheard the conversation outside of Loraine’s quarters joined in, and soon most of the employees shadowed them apprehensively. No doubt the same things were on all of their minds. What was going to happen? Would the library close once the crime was fully discovered? Where would they get new jobs? And most importantly, what would become of the books?
The second human was waiting just outside the entrance to docking bay 4. He had a look of amusement on his face as he ushered them over. “I’ve never seen so much tangimoney in my life!” he exclaimed. The other two inspectors were speechless when they looked through the door, their eyes settling on the cash piled as high as the ceiling, wall to wall.
“What is this?!” The Ghat said loudly, spilling the rest of his two mugs of coffee all over the floor, trembling. The three inspectors turned around to face the librarians.
Silence.
Loraine began to step forward, but the moment she did, the criminals from docking bay 5 filed out, armed to the teeth. Even Eye had a strange canon strapped to his back, his hooves and eye stalk covered in some sort of hunting armor.
“What’s the meaning of this?!” The blonde blustered angrily, grabbing his communication device from his belt. Just as he was about to hit the ‘on’ switch, Crawley leapt forward and grabbed it, tossing it backward to the crowd of employees and criminals as the man tried to snatch it back.
Loraine finished stepping forward and took her pet back from the Ghat.
Bob stood next to Crawley. “What do we do now?” he whispered. His middling voice which had always held some sort of command seemed to drop to the tone of a follower. Suddenly Crawley knew that he was the leader of the operation. Whatever he decided, the others would follow.
Step into the bay, please. Crawley said in all three of the inspectors’ heads.
“What? No! This is illegal!” The blonde leader’s voice trembled. This was not how he pictured his trip to the library ending.
Bob, a librarian and a criminal stepped forward, pushing the three men into the docking bay with the tangimoney. Crawley sealed the door, and then looked at the group behind him. They looked right back, waiting.
There were only two options at that point. Either let the men go and lose the library to the quasar, or flush docking bay 4 into space, killing the inspectors. The tangimoney would be flushed out as well, but that was of little consequence. The library could always make more.
Crawley stood very still in front of the door. He let his telepathic mind reach out in a thousand directions, searching all possibilities of his actions, weighing out every consequence and every gain. He thought of the librarians and their needs, he thought of his wife and kids on his home planet, he thought of Loraine and Bob, and the criminals. He thought of the three inspectors trapped beyond the door.
He thought of the books.
With that final thought his mind began to quiet down as each separate line of reasoning began to converge on a decision. His finger hovered over a button on the control panel. He glanced over at the crowd of faithful onlookers. They nodded in agreement. He pushed it.
Crawley wondered just how space would affect the tangimoney.
-End
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