Steven walked over to him. He wasn’t the least bit surprised that he would forget this.
“Hey,” Steven tried to start a dialogue, “ let’s just roll this thing back a few blocks to the nearest station, and then go home.”
“Duh, I know that much. I just don’t have the legs for it.”
David lifted his pant leg as a joke, but Steven’s eye lingered for a split second.
No.
David started rolling his bike out of the gates, and then he remembered that there was a pressure plate activation system needed to open them. He looked over at Steven, and Steven proceeded to bounce first.
There they were, bouncing like two kids in a trampoline, completely oblivious to the red button on the side of the entrance intercom, which was only added just as recently as a month ago.
Another man looked at them strangely and went to press the button. The gates opened.
“We did it – “
The man walked past them, and the realization hit harder than a plane.
The walk was longer than expected, but the dusk-filled sky was nice to look at. Steven hoped that that would distract David.
“Hey. I know that you’ve been avoiding me this past month.”
It didn’t.
“I’ve been working with you for a month, and all you’ve done conversationally is try to hold small talk.”
“Look, David, I – “
“Yes, you. I thought that you’d be happy with me coming to the new school. Your learning center needed teachers, and I didn’t have a job. And I was greeted with your face,” David started thinking, “I saw the fear in your face more than anything. I didn’t see excitement.”
“I’d rather not – “
“Rather not what? Why are you afraid of me? We had a past, we even – “
“‘The past’ was a decade ago! I moved on after you left. I got myself a nice lady, and I’ve started living with her.”
David looked at subtext, “No. I think that I dug into an old would. I never meant to hurt you when I left you there.”
David always had commitment issues, and Steven didn’t change that.
“But …” he wasn’t sure if he should say it, “I…I still care about you.”
Steven looked over at David and saw the small stream from his eye.
No.
“I fucked it up.” David was releasing a bottle he’d been filling for ten years, “I fuck everything up. That’s what I do. I ran when my mom died, and I ran when I started feeling like I was responsible for your well-being, and I don’t want to fuck up whatever you have with this ‘lady’ of yours. I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”
Steven started feeling warm in his chest, and sick at the same time.
No.
Steven loved Lorraine. He knew that they met on bad terms, but he grew to love her over the next two years. David did pick at an old wound, but that wound was still open. Steven’s head was splitting because he knew he’d have to choose between his reckless college roommate, or the quirky librarian he found by accident.
David made the choice for him, and hugged Steven as close as he could.
“I’m so sorry.” He stated.
Their lips touched for a brief moment.
No. No. No.
No.
Steven felt more warm than sick, and was left more confused than ever.
They saw the flicker of the gas station lights in the distance. Steven felt uncomfortable with David at the moment, so he called Lorraine.
“Hey, could you come get me when you get off in a few minutes? I’m at the gas station off of…” he looked around for a street sign, “I’m off of 172, about a half mile from the CoS”
CoS was an abbreviated ‘Capital of Security’.
David was about to ask why, but soon felt the awkward stare radiating from Steven, and clicked the gas pump’s top button. It retracted back into its little cubby hole, and he rode off into the night. I fucked it up.
Steven reminisced on that awkward feeling as Lorraine drove up a half an hour later. He had felt it before with her. It felt nice.
Shit. Steven’s scar pulsed again, and he rubbed the back of his head.
Lorraine and he had made it back to their loft, and he mostly went with his least likely option. He slept on it.
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