10.
Sometimes I look back on my poor life choices I've made through my entire life, only to cringe at them and regret it to the point where I want to jump off a bridge. And sometimes I do that in the exact same moments that I make these choices.
Poor life choices counter: Error 404 – number could not be found
Latest poor life choice: grabbing Jack's hand completely random and for no good reason whatsoever. Blame it on my hormones.
If you had a stopwatch, I swear to god you couldn't measure the milliseconds it took me to withdraw my hand from his. I was amazed by myself, just how stupid and careless I could be sometimes.
I kept my eyes glued to the ground, knowing Jack was looking at me. I didn't want to imagine what kind of facial expression he had, or what he was thinking. I knew it wasn't something good, maybe a mixture of disgust, confusion and anger.
In my head, everyone who saw me was already judging me about what just happened. What I cared about though, was not how others viewed me, but how they saw Jack. No matter what he thought of me, it wasn't his fault I grabbed his hand. I didn't want them to think bad of him.
I finally raised my head after a few seconds to look at Jack and began stuttering, “uh- I-,” but was cut off before I could say another word. Partly because of the soft look he had, or his gentle gaze upon me. He was smiling, with one side of his mouth twitched slightly more upward than the other. He looked handsome, beautiful, gorgeous. He looked at me.
But what really surprised me wasn't how he looked at me, but what he whispered when we made eye contact, in a voice so soft and deep that I could have drowned in the sound of it.
“It's okay.”
He made sure the others didn't hear it. My eyes, widened of shock, couldn't believe what was happening right in front of them.
What?
I felt my face becoming warmer, my cheeks almost burning up, and I lost the ability to form sentences, or any words for that matter. I couldn't believe it. But there he was, the person I loved more than anything in this world, smiling at me, telling me it was okay. It was okay to touch his hand, like...
… like he understood what I meant. Understood me.
“What's taking you so long guys, seriously!” Min called us with brows knitted together and puffed cheeks in a childish manner. “Can you stop staring at each other and move your butts, please?” she added with a laugh.
It was at that moment that I realized, they didn't see what happened. They didn't know. The only people were me and Jack. I felt like we became closer, sharing a secret that only we knew. Maybe it was silly of me to think that way, but it made me feel happier nevertheless.
We continued our walk through the museum, looking interested at some things, uninterested at others, some completely ignored.
I felt content.
I felt alive.
As I was sitting on a bench to rest, alone, I wondered if me and Jack would ever become something more than classmates. More than friends. I quickly shook these thoughts away as I saw Min approaching me.
“Is this seat taken?” she asked with a small smile. “Of course not,” I answered a bit hesitant.
Something was off.
“Great!” she giggled to herself. We sat there in silence for a minute, before she spoke up in a seemingly cheery tone, but which was dripping with malice, shocking me in more than one way, “oh, by the way,” I turned my head to look at her, only to be greeted with a face, that I never saw on Min, opposing every single aspect and thought I had of her until now, smiling.
Before her terrifying smile grew wider, she continued to speak, which made my blood turn cold and break out in a cold sweat, “I saw that.”
Something was definitely off.
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